


I Will Do Anything For You

by lovemylarry



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cuddling & Snuggling, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Falling In Love, Family, Famous Harry, Gay, Heterosexual Sex, Homosexuality, Kissing, Love/Hate, M/M, Making Out, Non-Famous Louis, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Struggle, Struggling, Struggling with Sexuality, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2019-01-10 08:04:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 62,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12294891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovemylarry/pseuds/lovemylarry
Summary: Louis hates boybands in general. When he meets Harry Styles for the first time, he hates them even more. But then, things change quicker than he would have even thought . . .





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Dear reader,
> 
> I've always wanted to write a famous/non-famous fic and now that it's finished I couldn't be happier!  
> Thanks to my two proof readers [Jaci](http://directionergleekblr.tumblr.com/) and [Shane](http://-ajourneywithnoend-.tumblr.com/)♥.
> 
> You can find me on [tumblr](http://lovemylarry.tumblr.com/).
> 
> WARNING!  
> This story contains explicit language and sexual contents.
> 
> Don't translate or publish my work without my permission.
> 
> Translations: [Italian](https://my.w.tt/UiNb/TT6UkKfW9G)

It’s nearly 2am when Louis comes home from his shift at the small bar that’s located only a few minutes away from his house. Working has been quite stressful during the last weeks and it gets more and more difficult for Louis to combine his studies and the job without being exhausted and tired at university. When Louis comes home, he’s absolutely done with everything and everyone. He throws his rucksack into a corner in his room, quickly takes off his jeans and sweater and flops onto bed without even having a shower or brushing his teeth. The only thing he can think of is that he won’t have to work next weekend - for the first time in weeks. As soon as Louis closes his eyes he’s fast asleep.

***

Louis shares a house with his friends Stan and Keira who he knows from university. The terraced house is located near Hampstead, one of the most beautiful and expensive areas in town. If it wasn’t for Stan’s dad, they probably couldn’t afford living there at all but since Mr. Lucas is respected for his work at the construction company that owns the house, the boss did agree to rent it on special terms.

It's a typical English brown brick stone house with a tiny front garden. The living room and the kitchen are on the ground floor. Both rooms lead to the typical, elongated back yard. Louis and Stan live on the first floor which contains two bedrooms and the main bathroom. Keira has her bedroom on the second floor. The spare room next to Keria's is used as a storage room since it hasn't been renovated lately and there’s no cellar in the house. There's also a smaller bathroom on Keira’s floor.


	2. Asking for help

 

In the morning Louis wakes up to the buzzing of his phone. He usually switches it off at night but obviously he was too tired for everything when he went to bed after work last night. When he looks at it he sees his mum's number appearing on the screen. Louis groans, turns around and accepts the call eventually.

“Mum?” he says slowly, his voice thick with sleep.

“Louis darling, aren’t you at university? It’s already noon!” Jay replies. “Aren’t you feeling well?”

Louis groans, covering his eyes with his hand. “I’m just tired. My shift at the bar ended in the middle of the night and still, I don’t have lessons on Fridays.”

“Oh,” she answers quietly and sighs. Then there’s a pause.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry for coming off rude, I’m just . . . well, tired.”

“I’m really sorry for waking you up.”

“It’s okay mum, really,” Louis assures her. “Why are you calling?”

“Well . . . I wanted to tell you that Lottie finally got her work placement at London Zoo for three weeks.”

“That’s good news! When will she start working?”

“That’s . . . exactly the point,” Jay answers. “Her first day is supposed to be Monday.”

“What? In three days? You mean next Monday?

“Yes . . . next Monday and that's exactly the problem. I’ve tried to find a room for her but even the cheap ones are way too expensive.” Jay exhales audibly. “I can’t afford to pay a youth hostel or a hotel for her so I wanted to ask you if she could stay at yours?”

“I should ask Stan and Keira first.” Louis answers. “Are you sure there’s no other way?”

“This is her only possibility. If you don't agree she will have to cancel the job.” Jay clears her throat. “Of course you won’t have to pay for her. I’ll transfer enough money for food and everything she’ll need.”

Louis loves his sister and he knows his friends like her too. It has never been a problem when she visited him for a weekend but three weeks in a row? She would have to sleep either in his room or in the living room which wouldn't be the perfect solution for either of them. Louis sighs. His mum has done so much for him and his siblings, she's just asking him to do his sister a favour and Louis would feel bad if he rejected her.

“She can stay here, it’s no problem. As long as I don’t have to babysit her all the time it will be fine,” Louis says with a chuckle.

“She’s sixteen, Louis. You won’t have to babysit her,” his mum replies and lets out a laugh. “Oh darling, you have no idea how happy she will be! Thank you so much!” She nearly squeals like a little girl what makes Louis smile.

“It’s fine. When will she arrive?”

“Would Saturday be okay for you? She has an appointment at the zoo in the afternoon but before that we could spend the day together, what to you think?"

"Sounds good," Louis replies and they soon end the call.

***

On Saturday evening Lottie decides to make pizza for everyone as a thank you in advance so her, Louis, Stan and Keira have a lovely dinner together. Louis’ roommates know Lottie and they like her a lot. They spent a nice evening together, filled with silly jokes and a lot of laughter. Lottie is fine with sleeping on the sofa in the living room as Louis’ room is just too small to have someone in there for a longer period of time. Louis is thankful that both of his friends don't see a problem with Lottie staying at their house for a few weeks.


	3. One Direction

Louis’ week has started as stressful as usual. He has to work on several projects and essays for his studies and of course he goes to work on a regular basis. When he comes home after his shift on Wednesday afternoon, he's very tired. The boy lets himself fall onto the sofa but the second his bum touches the soft seat, he can hear something crack under the pillows. Louis moves aside and pulls out a broken cd case that was obviously hidden under the pillows.

“Louis!” Lottie shrieks suddenly, snatching the broken case out of her brother’s hands. Louis hadn't even noticed she was in the room. His sister’s facial expression is telling. She’s pissed but Louis can’t do anything else than laugh at her; he just can’t fight it. Lottie will probably hate him for that.

“Stop laughing! You broke my new One Direction disk!” she yells at him, holding the opened case in front of his face. The case is broken and there’s a small crack in the disk itself.

“Calm down, it’s just a fucking disk!” Louis counters, still fighting against his laughter as he’s holding his hands up in defence. He doesn’t even know why he’s laughing, it’s so silly but he can’t stop. “You’re acting as if it was something important!” he says a little bit more serious, shaking his head.

“This disk _is_ important to me and now it’s broken thanks to you!” Lottie repeats. The girl’s face is red, her eyes filled with anger. “You have no idea how I feel! What if I ripped your Doncaster Rovers posters, would you be happy about it?”

Louis frowns and shakes his head. He just doesn't understand why his sister is so enraged because of a broken disk. The boy gets up from the sofa and steps closer to her. “All I know is that I wouldn’t make such a big deal out of it. There’re plenty of disks available in stores, so what? I’ll buy you a new one, for God’s sake!” he nearly yells at his sister. Louis shakes his head as he's walking out of the living room.

Hours later there’s a silent knock on Louis’ door. He’s busy typing a tweet so he doesn’t answer right away. The door is opened a tiny bit and the boy can easily spot Lottie's blonde hair through the small gap.

“Louis? Can I come in?" she asks quietly.

The boy looks up for a second, does a gesture with his head but focuses on the screen again. Lottie hesitates at first but then walks into the room and sits down onto Louis’ desk chair, opposite him.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” she apologizes.

Louis looks up from his laptop and sighs. “It’s okay. But I still don’t get why you’re so upset about a broken disk.”

Lottie looks out of the window while she’s twisting her hair. “These boys, they . . . you know, they mean so much to me. . . .”

“What?” Louis was too distracted to listen to her.

“One Direction,” his sister explains, holding her phone up. “That’s them.” Lottie points at the screen that shows four young men dressed in suits on a red carpet. “They’re my life, the most important thing ever.”

“One Direction?” Louis asks disparagingly. “You mean this gay boyband whose ugly tour posters are hung up all over London?” He lets out a fake laugh and shakes his head. “They’re so annoying.”

“They aren’t annoying at all!" Lottie protests forcefully. "They make great music and they have been so successful during the last few years. This band is playing the biggest venues all over the world these days!”

“Great music, are you serious? There are other real musicians and bands out there that make better music than those freaks. They’re just boy band puppets in the music machinery, nothing else.”

“But look at them!” Lottie holds her phone up again. “They’re so hot and adorable at the same time! The songs are really good and the best thing is they’re all involved in the writing process.” Lottie gets up from the chair and sits down next to her brother.

“I don’t believe they write their songs,” Louis replies.

Lottie swats his arm slightly. “They do! Can I show you some things?” she asks, pointing at the laptop.

"Okay,” Louis sighs, giving in to her madness. “But then you'll stop talking about them, okay?”

“I promise,” the girl smiles as Louis hands her his laptop. Lottie shows him a few pictures and videos of One Direction.

“Aha,” Louis says unimpressed. “I will never understand why girls are crazy about boy bands. It’s such a lame concept.”

“Louis! How can you say that? They’re so cute, kind, funny . . . I mean . . .  look, here’s a video of Harry only,” Lottie says as she’s typing his name into You Tube search. “He’s my favourite and after you’ve seen this, you’ll probably understand what I mean.”

“It’s not that I _want_ to understand,” Louis huffs. “I think I’ve seen enough of them.”

“Oh come on, have another look!” she answers happily and adjusts the laptop so that Louis can see the screen again. “He’s my favourite, he’s such a sweetheart and so pretty! And I love the way he dresses. He can wear everything, I swear.”

“He’s wearing jeans and a brown jacket. That’s what everyone wears, I don’t see anything special here,” Louis remarks dryly.

Just in that second, the video shows Harry talking to a crying fan. “Look how down to earth he is. Just look at him,” Lottie says, staring at the screen. “I love him so much,” she whispers, lets her index finger trace along Harry’s face and exhales audibly.

Louis shakes his head and takes the laptop away from Lottie. “That’s all made up. He has to be nice to fans because they’re the reason he gets his money. And he’s not pretty, his hair is long and greasy and his clothes look like mine, nothing special.”

“That’s not true. Do you wear Burberry and Saint Laurent?” Lottie protests.

“How old is he? 46? Jeez, Lottie! Of course he wears expensive stuff for work. If he wears those brands in private it only means that he’s a fucking spoiled, rich, arrogant brat just because you and other teenagers spend all their money on these jumping clowns.”

“Why are you saying such hurtful things? Harry isn’t a jumping clown, _they_ aren’t jumping clowns. They’re talented guys who are very lucky and you know what? Harry is different, he’s special. There might be celebrities who are spoiled and arrogant but not those boys, not Harry. Harry is kind, he’s very generous, caring and the sweetest guy ever. He’s not arrogant at all. Look how cute he was to that girl. Harry is amazing, just amazing and unique.”

“You’re talking as if you knew him.”

“I know him!” Lottie protests.

“You don’t. Maybe you believe so, but you don’t.”

“You’re wrong," Lottie insists. Suddenly, her voice gets soft. She lets out a loud sigh before she continues talking. "I love Harry so much and I wish he was my boyfriend.”

Louis waves his hand in front of Lottie's face. “Are you listening to yourself? How can you say that? How can you pretend loving someone you haven’t even met? Jesus!” He clasps his hand against his forehead and shakes his head in disbelief.

“I’m not pretending anything, I love him!” she replies smiling widely.

“You sound like you need therapy, seriously,” Louis huffs and opens a new tab in his browser.

“You’re so mean, Louis! I love Harry and you can’t convince me not to. He’s lovely and I’m sure he wouldn’t say such hurtful things about others! That’s why I love him. He’s so different and he has nothing in common with the boys at my school who are all childish and immature, just like you!” Lottie yells at her brother. “I will meet them next Friday and then I will tell Harry how much I love him!” Tears start running down Lottie’s cheeks as she’s covering her face with her hands.

Louis puts one arm around her shoulders. “Hey,” he says softly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you cry.” He pulls Lottie closer, gently caressing her arm. “But look at yourself, you’re crying because of a guy you don’t even know. He's not worth it,” the boy tries to comfort his sister.  

Lottie nuzzles to her brother’s chest and lets out a few more sobs. “He's worth it, Lou. He's worth it and I will tell him," she sobs quietly.

Louis doesn't respond. He just holds his sister in his arms for a while until she calms down. When she pulls back, Louis looks at her questioning because he has no idea what she was talking about. “Where will you meet them?” he asks.

“I have a VIP ticket for their concert at the 02 arena next Friday and it includes a meet & greet plus front row seats,” Lottie explains and wipes her eyes. “Mum is taking me.”

“And . . . she knows how much you’re obsessed with them?” Louis asks and winks.

“I’m not obsessed. I love them.”

“That’s the same thing Lotts,” Louis chuckles and nudges his sister. “And mum is okay with that?”

Lottie clears her throat. “I saved my pocket money for months and she gave me the rest for my birthday.”

“What? You saved your pocket money for four months?” Louis asks perplexed. “How much was it?”

“370,” Lottie says quietly.

“You’re kidding!”

“No, that was the price,” Lottie answers. “I would have paid more if I had to,” she adds, presses her lips together and shrugs.

“So, you really want to tell me that you paid almost 400 pounds to meet these losers? That’s terrible! I mean that price is outrageous and I honestly think you’re insane to spend so much money on a fucking boyband!”

Lottie gets up from the bed. “I don’t care what you think about it, Louis! It’s my money and my decision, not yours! Mum didn’t act that negatively when she bought the tickets and she didn’t say such hurtful things to me!” The girl is on the verge of tears again. She turns around, walks out of the room and slams Louis’ door. What the fuck? They've never argued like this in years but now?


	4. Another fight

“Louis, what the hell is this?”

Louis drops his bag on the floor and storms out of his room. “What the fuck has she done?” he yells as he’s running down the stairs into the living room. He knows it has something to do with his sister, of course.

“I like your sister, but this is just a little bit too much,” Stan says, pointing at the wall that is partially decorated with pictures and posters of One Direction and in particular, Harry.

“Oh noooo!” Louis moans in annoyance, covering his eyes with his hands. 

“My little sister has her room covered with their posters too; she even has this curly haired guy as a life-sized cardboard in her room - so creepy. I freak out every time I walk into her room, especially when it’s dark.” Stan shrugs. “I don’t understand why girls fancy boy bands so much.”

“I don’t understand it either,” Louis says, frowning. “I’ll tell her to take them off as soon as possible because I really don’t want our friends to laugh at us.”

Louis walks into the kitchen to make breakfast. Stan follows him. He takes some eggs out of the fridge. “I won’t allow her to turn this house into a One Direction sanctuary,” Louis says angrily as he switches on the cooker.

Stan chuckles and grabs the toast. “Apparently that’s normal for girls.”

Louis starts cracking the eggs into a heated pan. “But Stan, your little sister is ten! Lottie is _sixteen_!” He turns around. “Guess what she told me yesterday?”

“What?” Stan asks amused and sits down at the small kitchen table.

Louis doesn’t find it funny at all. “She bought VIP tickets for almost 400 pounds! 400! Can you believe that?”

“What? That’s not true!” Stan yells shocked and lets out a laugh. “That’s a shit load of money, holy moly!”

“You nailed it! It’s insane!” Louis answers while putting some salt and pepper onto the eggs. “That’s not normal at all. I’ll text her later and she’ll have to take those pictures off our walls.”

Before they leave the house, Louis also writes a little note to Lottie and places it onto her laptop in the living room.

***

When Louis comes home in the afternoon, he’s with a friend, Eleanor. They need to manage group project so they decided to work at Louis’ house.

“Oh my god! Louis!” Eleanor squeals. “You like One Direction? Really?”

“What?” Louis rushes into the living room too.

Eleanor giggles as she’s pointing at the wall. “Why haven’t you told me that you like One Direction?” She folds her hands and puts them next to her face in a sweet gesture. “That’s too cute!”

“What the hell!” Louis yells, completely ignoring his friend. “Why are these fucking posters still here?” Louis walks over to the small table in front of the sofa. There it is, the note he had placed on Lottie’s laptop this morning. The laptop has been moved which means she must have seen it. “She saw it. I would love to rip all those posters off now, seriously! If she . . .”

Louis can’t finish his sentence because he gets distracted by the click of the lock.

“Hey everybody!” Lottie chirps happily as she’s walking into the living room.

“I told you to take this crap off my walls! Why are these posters still here and where have you been?” Louis shouts at his sister without greeting her.

“I didn’t have time to do it,” Lottie snaps as she’s putting her bag down. “What’s your problem?”

“Who is this?” Eleanor asks, pointing at Lottie.

“This is my sister Charlotte and she’s apparently obsessed with this fucking boy band,” Louis growls with a certain undertone. He doesn’t even wait for a response as he’s turning to Lottie immediately. “Take these pictures off the wall or I will do it!” he warns.

Eleanor reaches her hand out to Lottie, completely ignoring Louis. “Hi Charlotte, I’m Eleanor.”

“Nice to meet you,” Lottie smiles and shakes Eleanor’s hand. “You can call me Lottie, if you like. Nobody calls me Charlotte, to be honest.”

“Alright,” Eleanor nods. “I love One Direction, too. They’re great!”

“Are you kidding?” Louis asks his friend, pulling the girl back by her shoulder to get her attention.

 “No seriously, I love their music and Harry . . . you know, Harry is such a cute little bean!”

Eleanor walks towards the sofa, kneels onto it and points at a picture of Harry. “Wow . . . this is my favourite picture of him, look at those curls! That long hair fits him so well and his tattoos are so attractive!”

“Have you seen the last interview they did with the Chatty Man?” Lottie asks her excitedly, clasping her hands together.

Eleanor chuckles a little bit. “Of course I have! It was so funny when he asked Harry about the bun,” she answers, tracing her index finger over another picture of the guy where he’s wearing yellow shorts only. “Look at that body, Jesus! He’s the hottest guy on this planet!”

Louis shakes his head.  “This isn’t happening, is it? I would have never thought that you were such a freak, El,” he says.

Eleanor turns around, frowning. “I’m not a freak just because I know what’s good,” she says cheekily and holds her finger up playfully.

“Are you serious?” Louis asks, pointing at the wall. “You like these four idiots too?”

Eleanor smiles at her friend. “Yeah, they’re brilliant! Have you even listened to their new album? It’s amazing, they wrote most of the lyrics and it’s a pity that . . .”

Louis covers his ears. “I know, I know!” he says, exhaling audibly. Then he turns towards his sister. “And now, you have exactly five minutes to take these pictures off the wall and then you two will stop talking about this fucking band okay?” Louis says angrily and walks towards the door. Before he steps out of the room, he turns around again. “And if only one of those pictures should still be on that damn wall when I come back, I will personally rip it off and throw it out of the window!”

“I think he’s a bit stressed out,” Lottie says after her brother has left. “But . . . do you _really_ like them?” she asks Eleanor.

The girl nods. “I really do. It’s the music and they’re quite cute, especially Harry,” Eleanor says with a wink and gives Lottie a small nudge. “You’re on the right track here,” she smiles.

“Definitely,” Lottie answers happily. “But . . . I better take the pictures off the wall before Louis gets any angrier.”

“I think it would be better to do so,” Eleanor smiles. “And I thought Louis and Stan might like them,” she says and chuckles before she starts helping Lottie taking the pictures down.

“What a pity you have to take them off. The boys are so pretty!” Eleanor sighs. “It wouldn’t be bad to look at them instead of Louis and Stan all the time.” Her words make Lottie chuckle.

“I don’t want any pretty boys on my walls,” Louis snorts as he’s walking into the room again. “We’re not a gay club.”

“It has nothing to do with being gay. Why are you guys always so negative about boybands?” Eleanor asks. “My brother behaves like you when it comes to them.”

“Because they’re all fake and embarrassing _and_ they only care about money and fame,” Louis answers dryly while he lets himself flop onto the sofa. “You girls are only wasting your time and money on them.”

“I think that’s a girl’s thing guys will never understand,” Eleanor remarks.

“Yeah, and just because you don’t understand, you don’t have to call them names and talk negatively about them,” Lottie pouts.

“I don’t even want to understand,” Louis answers. “I don’t want to understand how you could buy a ticket for nearly 400 pounds just to shake their hands for like three seconds.”

“What?” Eleanor squeals and almost spills her tea she’s holding in her hands. “You actually got one of the VIP tickets?! You’re going to _meet_ them?”

Lottie flushes a little and nods. “Yeah, I did. I saved money and my mum gave me the rest for my birthday.”

“Okay, enough!” Louis says forcefully, interrupting the girls’ discussion. “We should really start working now because it’s getting late,” he tells Eleanor.

“Alright,” Eleanor sighs as she’s getting up the table. “I’ll give you my number and we’ll meet up without those spoilsports of boys.”

“Okay,” Lottie giggles and gives Eleanor a hug.

 


	5. Meet & Greet

After their fight, Lottie doesn’t mention One Direction anymore and everything gets quiet again. The following days pass as usual without particular occurrences until Louis gets a call from his mum.

“Hey darling, how are you? And how’s Lottie?”

“I’m fine but . . . I’m not sure if Lottie is okay, to be honest.”

“Why?”

“She’s obsessed with this boyband! I can’t believe you’re taking her on Friday, like what? I mean, she spent nearly 400 pounds on a ticket?”

“It was her biggest wish,” his mum answers with a sigh. “She paid most of it from her money. I just gave her like 100 pounds for her birthday. It’s normal for girls her age to fancy boybands, nothing wrong with that.” Her voice is calm. “I was also a fan of Bryan Adams when I was younger,” she says.

“I bet you’ve never spent 400 pounds on a ticket.”

Jay sighs. “No I haven’t. I know it’s a lot but as I said, it was the only thing she wanted for her birthday.” Jay pauses. “And that’s exactly why I’m calling.”

“Oh please don’t tell me you’re planning on giving me a ticket too,” Louis groans playfully.

Louis’ mum chuckles. “No, it’s not that.” She clears her throat. “It’s just . . . I won’t be able to take Lottie to the concert on Friday because of work. Melissa and Kathy have the flu and they need my help at the hospital, it’s an emergency.”

Louis stays silent. He knows what she’s going to ask him and he doesn’t like it at all.

“Could you maybe bring your sister on Friday since I won’t be able to do it?”

“Oh no,” Louis sighs quietly, more to himself than to his mum.

“Teens under 18 have to be accompanied by an adult and you’re the only one who lives in London. She won’t be allowed to go there at all without an adult and as you know, she spent a small fortune on that ticket.”

“It’s not my fault, is it?” Louis growls.

“Louis!” Jay scolds her son. “You just can’t let your sister down. Please!”

“I would never let my sister down, mum. It’s just that I don’t want to support her craziness when it comes to that boyband but . . . okay,” Louis gives in. “I’ll do it.”

“I do understand that you’re not happy about it . . . it’s just . . . I don’t have another possibility, really, I . . .”

Louis interrupts her. “It’s okay mum, don’t worry. You've done so much for us so if it makes you happy and I can help you with that, I'll do it.”

***

When Louis leaves the apartment with Lottie on Friday afternoon, he is completely stressed out. She has been so incredibly nervous and excited during the whole day that she hasn’t stopped talking at all. It took her about four hours to decide what she’d wear and two more hours to put on make-up and get her hair done the way she liked it. Louis has to admit she looks pretty cute after all the effort but he still can’t understand why she makes such a fuss about this band.

The tube to the O2 arena is full with teenage girls and parents. Many of them wear One Direction shirts and some girls have the names of the band members written all over their faces and arms which seems hilarious and embarrassing to Louis. It smells awful inside the narrow compartment, like a mixture of vanilla deodorant and teenage sweat.

When Louis and Lottie arrive at the O2 arena, the place is packed with people. A huge area in front of the venue is blocked off with fences and there are hundreds of girls sitting on the ground. Some of them even sleeping on the concrete. The whole place looks like a mess; there are piles of clothes and rubbish everywhere. It looks like people had lost their belongings and others had trampled on them. Some girls must have even spent the night in front of the venue because there are many tents and abandoned sleeping bags put aside, next to the fencings. What the hell?

Louis and Lottie walked over to the entrance and get in quickly after showing their tickets to the security guard. At the meeting point inside, they have to wait for the other fans who have bought VIP tickets too. Most of them are girls who are younger than Lottie, accompanied by their mums and dads. After everyone is present, a big security guy leads the small group backstage.

On their way to the backstage area, Lottie takes her brother’s hand. Louis doesn’t mind, he loves his sister and she’s been doing this since she was little. Her hands are trembling as she presses herself against him. Although she’s wearing make-up, Louis can notice her flushed cheeks. He can’t understand all the drama but he loves his sister dearly so he squeezes her hand and gives her a reassuring smile just because she needs it, not because he feels like it. When Louis looks around, he notices that some of the girls are crying quietly. The band hasn’t even appeared yet and they are already crying? Why would they cry at all? Lottie suddenly pulls Louis’ arm.

“Lottie!” Louis says with a start and flinches. “Don’t pull my sweater like that!”

“I . . . I think I saw Harry over there,” she whispers, not going into Louis’ complaint. “He’s here.”

“Of course he is. He’s in the band,” Louis says with a sigh. “Why are you so nervous?”

Lottie swats her brother’s arm and gives him a warning look. “You don’t understand,” she whispers.

“That’s true and maybe it's better if I don't. But look at these girls, I mean . . . why are they crying?” he whispers back.

When Lottie is about to open her mouth to answer, a door on the left is opened and catches her and Louis’ attention. When the people in the front start walking inside, Lottie squeezes Louis’ arm again. Louis rolls his eyes but stays silent.

The walls in the small room are covered with heavy, black length of materials and it’s completely carpeted. Three dark sofas are placed in a small niche and a few tables have been put together to form a line in the middle of the room. There are some posters and markers on the tables.

A few metres away on the right, there is a huge sign put up that reads “One Direction” and a photographer stands next to it, a professional camera hanging around his neck. Five big security guards observe the scene and two other guys with walkie-talkies are in the room too. They are dressed in black and wear headsets. Everyone from the crew looks kind of important.

It’s nearly a mysterious atmosphere in the room. All sounds are muffled, parents are talking to their children quietly while some of them are still crying and sobbing. This is unreal. Suddenly one of the walkie-talkie guys walks to the middle of the room, holding his hand up.

“Could you please listen to me?” he asks and clears his throat. Everybody gets quiet. “Welcome backstage. Before you meet the boys, I have to give you some instructions. They are going to be signing autographs here,” he says and points toward the tables with the posters. “You can also get autographs on cd cases, shirts and other stuff. You're allowed to take pictures in general and you will have about fifteen minutes to talk to the boys until we start with the group pictures over there. Don’t ask them about girlfriends, relationships or money."

After the guy leaves, nothing happens. Louis needs to use the bathroom so he walks over to the security guards to ask for the way. One of them walks over to the door and points down the white corridor. “Over there, second door on the right,” he says and closes the door behind Louis.

Only a few seconds after Louis has entered the bathroom, the door is opened and a tall young man with curly long hair walks in. He’s wearing dark skinny jeans with holes, a plain black t-shirt, a green snapback and black Converse. He greets Louis shortly before he stands at the urinal next to him. As Louis is closing the zipper, he feels a few drops wetting his arm. Has the guy just peed on him?! Louis pulls a disgusted face as he’s looking at his arm.

“Oh sorry,” the guy says shocked, pulling up his zipper hastily. He walks over to the sink, takes a few paper towels out of the dispenser and wets them with soap and water. Then the guy walks back to Louis and tries to clean his arm but the boy flinches.

“Stay away from me!” Louis says angrily, taking one step back.

“I just want to make up for it,” the other guy replies, holding the paper towels up.

Louis sends him a glare, snatches the paper towels out of his hands and starts wiping his arm himself. “You better be more careful next time,” Louis growls and crumples the papers in his hand. “I didn’t come here to be peed on,” he mutters quietly as he’s about to walk out of the bathroom.

“Wait!” the guy says.

Louis turns around. “What?” he snaps rudely. He clearly isn’t in the mood for talking to a random stranger in the bathroom, especially not right after what happened.

“What’s your name? Why are you here?” the guy asks, taking the snapback off and runs his fingers through his dense curls.

Louis rolls his eyes in annoyance. “First of all, I needed a wee,” he says sarcastically. “Second, my sister spent a shit load of money on a VIP ticket to meet a fucking boyband,” he answers dryly, rolls his eyes and walks out of the room.

When Louis returns, the small group of fans and parents is still waiting for the band. Louis talks to Lottie for a while before he flops down on a sofa in the back and starts scrolling through his messages.

Suddenly a door is opened and the fans react immediately. It must be them. Louis looks up from his phone for a second but he can’t really see anything because of the people who are standing in front of him. A few girls start crying again, some of them press their hands in front of their mouths in shock or amazement, probably both. The band members hug the girls and Louis doesn’t understand that. How can they hug strangers? This whole thing is insane. The girl who sits next to Louis makes weird noises of excitement and starts to sob uncontrolled when one of the guys waves shortly at her. Her dad tries to calm her down but the situation is just crazy. Louis shakes his head, leans back and closes his eyes. There are so many voices and sounds mixed together to one that it’s nearly calming. The thought of it makes Louis giggle. Then he suddenly feels someone shaking his arm.

“Louis! Louis, Harry is here!” Lottie says excitedly. “Please, I can’t walk over to him on my own, please come with me!” she pleas.

“It’s your band, you wanted to meet them and of course you can go there on your own,” he answers lazily.

“I know but . . . please,” Lottie whines. “I’m so afraid to talk to him on my own!”

“Oh dear,” the boy sighs but gets up. “Where is he?”

“Over there.” Lottie points towards the back of the room and takes Louis’ hand into hers to pull him up.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Louis chuckles and holds up their hands. “Your Harry could see it.” Louis gesticulates toward the crowd and smirks.

Lottie shakes her head. “I really don’t care, I’m so nervous,” she whispers, biting her lower lip. She squeezes her brother’s hand even tighter.

“Alright, let’s go then,” Louis says and lets Lottie pull him towards Harry. His sister seems so happy although Louis still can’t understand why. Her behaviour nearly amuses him by now because he has never seen her that nervous before. Lottie walks toward a guy who’s surrounded by girls. The guy is writing autographs and takes pictures with the fans. Louis doesn’t really pay attention while he’s typing on his phone.

“Is this your sister?” a raspy, male voice suddenly asks.

Louis stops typing and stares at his phone for a second. This voice is familiar, too familiar. When Louis looks up, he recognizes the guy in front of him. They met in the bathroom a few minutes ago but he looks a little bit different now. He has changed his clothes and the styling of his hair. Lottie stares alternately at her brother and the guy with her mouth open.

“That’s obvious, isn’t it,” Louis huffs and pulls his hand away from Lottie's.

“Nice to meet you again, I’m Harry,” he says and reaches out his hand towards Louis. “And sorry again for . . . you know,” he remarks, biting his lower lip.

“I’m not here because of _you_ ,” Louis says dryly. “Lottie is,” he adds, pointing at his sister. Then the boy turns around and walks back to the sofa, completely ignoring Harry and his sister.

***

Lottie's face is flushed, her eyes are wide open and her hands tremble. “How do you know I’m his sister?” she asks but her words come out as a whisper. Her voice doesn’t allow her to speak up, it’s nearly gone.

“We met in the bathroom a few minutes ago,” Harry answers.

“You . . . you met . . .  my brother in the bathroom?” she stammers.

“Yeah,” the tall guy says and gives her a smile. “How are you today?” Harry puts his hand onto Lottie’s shoulder.

“I’m very nervous, to be honest,” Lottie answers. “Can I give you a hug?” It’s the only sentence she can think about as Harry is looking her in the eyes and Lottie can’t do anything about the tear that is running down her cheek. She’s so overwhelmed, to be that close to Harry and her body is just reacting.

“Of course,” Harry says with a cute smile and pulls the dumbfounded girl into a long, warm hug.

It feels amazing to feel Harry that close. Lottie puts her hands around Harry’s back, inhaling his smell. The boy’s curls tickle her face and she wishes this moment would never come to an end. She lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding, puts her cheek against Harry’s chest and to her surprise, Harry wraps his arms tighter around her what causes Lottie to cry again. Small, quiet sobs escape her mouth as she squeezes Harry tighter to her body, too. It’s impossible for her to control her emotions because Harry gives her this warm, calm feeling that fills her body completely and she has never felt better in her life. Her idol, the love of her life is holding her close and this is the best feeling in the world.

“Don’t cry,” Harry says quietly. He’s still holding the girl while he’s giving her a little kiss onto her hair. The gesture is so sweet that Lottie just can’t stop crying. “Everything’s fine,” he adds softly but it doesn’t help. Lottie can’t calm down; this is too much for her to cope with. Harry doesn’t let the girl go. He holds her close for a long time as he’s caressing her back slowly to calm her.

“Sorry, I’m . . . just . . . I’m so nervous . . .” Lottie sobs when she finally pulls away from Harry. The girl wipes her eyes with her trembling hands.

“There’s no need to be nervous, it’s just me!” Harry says with a smile and rubs her shoulder. “Have you already seen the show?” he asks her, trying to start a small conversation.

Lottie feels that her cheeks get hot when her eyes meet Harry’s green ones. This isn’t a random guy - this is Harry Styles, the real Harry Styles who is even prettier in real life than in pictures. He’s charming and kind, Lottie is totally intimidated by his presence. His skin looks smooth and clear, his hair is fluffy and perfect. He’s unreal, definitely unreal.

“Do you want me to sign something for you?” Harry asks, interrupting her thoughts.

“Yes,” Lottie answers shortly and takes a booklet out of her bag. Harry puts his signature onto his picture while Lottie is following the movement of his hand.

“Thank you very much.”

“You’re very welcome,” Harry smiles and gives Lottie another hug and touches her shoulder.

Louis has been sitting on the sofa to observe Harry and his sister but this is too much. He has always been very protective when it came to his sisters and Lottie in general. Louis doesn’t like the way Harry touches her. It’s hard for him to control his temper because in his eyes, Harry has taken it too far already. And it’s definitely enough now. Louis gets up and walks over to them.

“Stop touching her!” Louis growls and pushes Harry’s arm away from Lottie's shoulder harshly.

“Louis!” the girl yells at her brother.

Harry obliges and takes one step back. “It’s fine. He’s your brother,” he says to Lottie, no anger in his voice. “I’m also very protective of my sister and I can totally understand where he’s coming from.” He turns toward Louis. “Sorry Louis, I . . .”

Louis rolls his eyes. “Oh please, don’t try to pretend to be the nice guy here.”

“I’m not pretending anything,” Harry answers seriously.

Louis lets out a short, fake laugh. “Of course, you’re absolutely yourself here, aren’t you,” he says mockingly. “That’s what your fans might believe, but I’m not buying it.”

“Oh Louis, could you just stop?” Lottie says angrily, throwing her hands in the air. “What’s wrong with you?”

Just when Louis is about to answer, the photographer announces they would start taking the group pictures. Harry excuses himself and walks over to the other boys. Lottie grabs Louis’ arm and pushes him away forcefully.

“Why did you do this?” she hisses.

“What are you talking about, Lottie? He was touching you and I would never allow any stranger to. . .”

“No Louis! He might be a stranger to _you_ but he isn’t a stranger to me! And he wasn’t touching me like you think, for god’s sake! You act as if he wanted to murder me!” Lottie's voice trembles at the end of her sentence and she breaks out in tears. They drip on Harry’s autograph that Lottie is holding in her hands. When the girl turns around, she notices how cute Harry acts with the other girls and the fact that she didn’t get a picture with him makes her sad and angry at the same time.

“I wanted to take a picture with him and I couldn’t because you messed up everything and I probably won’t have the possibility to talk to Harry again! I hate you!” she yells at her brother, her voice thick with tears. The girl walks away to sit down on the floor next to the sofa. Louis follows her. He doesn’t want her to be sad but in his opinion he had to protect her and he did the right thing. He kneels down next to his sister and reaches out to touch her shoulder but Lottie flinches so that Louis doesn’t reach her. “Get away from me!” she cries, then buries her face into her hands.

Louis sighs. He gets up to sit down on the sofa next to her where he pulls out his phone again and reads a few messages. “Don’t you want to go over and take your picture?” Louis says softly after a while.

“No, I don’t want to!” Lottie yells at him and wipes her eyes. “Look at me, I’m a mess! I don’t want Harry or the others to see me like this.” She pulls her legs close and wraps her arms around them, staring at the floor.

It doesn’t take long until the boys say goodbye and almost everyone has left the room.

“Hey,” Louis said quietly. “We have to go.”

Lottie doesn’t answer but she gets up slowly. Her make-up is smeared, her eyes are red from crying, her cheeks strained with tears. She didn’t get a picture with Harry, she couldn’t talk to him as much as she wanted to and to cap it all, the autograph Harry gave her is blurred because Lottie didn’t bring a sharpie and her tears have destroyed it. She just can’t stop crying while she’s following her brother out of the room.

“You’ve ruined everything!” Lottie yells at her brother after the door has been closed. “This should have been the best night ever and it’s your fault that it went wrong, so wrong!” Lottie breaks out in tears again and slumps down on the floor.

Louis doesn’t know what to do. He has never seen his sister that way. “Hey Lottie, I’m sorry. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you,” he says quietly but she doesn’t react. “We should go now,” he adds. “I think the concert starts in a few minutes.”

Lottie glares at him. “Maybe _you_ should go, Louis!”

The boy exhales audible. “Lottie, I was just protecting you from this . . .”

Lottie gets up. “Don’t you dare call him any names! You ruined my evening with your stupid behaviour and I couldn’t take a picture with Harry or ask him all the things I wanted to! You knew how important this was to me but you didn’t care at all! I wish mum didn’t have to work tonight because she wouldn’t have ruined it like you did!” Lottie shakes her head. “I’m not even sure if I want to see the concert anymore since you will probably only talk shit about them.”

“Of course you want to see the concert,” Louis says softly as he’s taking Lottie’s hand into his. “I promise I won’t talk shit about them.” To his surprise she doesn’t flinch this time but lets her brother lead him to their seats. When the concert starts, Lottie stares at the stage. After a while, she even starts to sing along but she can’t enjoy the concert as much as she wants to. Lottie doesn’t talk much with Louis that evening as they drive home in silence.

 


	6. At the bar

“Hey Lou, how was your babysitting yesterday?” Stan smirks at Louis when he comes home.  

“It was worse than I expected it to be,” Louis answers while he munches on a piece of cold pizza. “I still don’t understand why anyone likes these boybands. You should have seen these girls! They were crying and sobbing just because they were _there_ – I’ve never seen anything like that before.” Louis shakes his head.

Stan also takes a piece of pizza out of the box. “They cried? Why?” he lets out a chuckle and sits down on the floor, opposite Louis.

“I swear they did,” Louis nods. “Even Lottie!”

Stan’s eyes widen. “You’re joking!”

Louis shakes his head. “She’s so tough usually but yesterday . . . I have no idea what happened to her or why. She was so nervous the entire time and cried because of her favourite member Harry and then she cried because I ruined her night allegedly.”

“You ruined her night?” Stan says with his mouth full.

“All I did was protect her from that Harry guy,” Louis rolls his eyes. “She said I ruined everything. What the hell?”

“What did he do?” Stan asks.

“He touched Lottie, he hugged her and he pulled her close. What the fuck was he thinking? He didn’t even know her! I can’t stand when guys are touching her, especially those kinds of people who use innocent girls for their needs because they can every time they want to.”

Stan nods. “I know what you mean and maybe I would have done the same.” He takes another bite of his pizza. “But . . . I mean, did the guy say anything to you or?”

Louis blows air through his lips. “He tried to come across as the understanding one and said he would have done the same if Lottie was his sister.”

“In my opinion they always have to be nice, who knows how their personalities change when they’re private.”

“That’s it, thank you. But of course she doesn’t understand why I acted like this and now she’s pissed.” Louis sighs. “I should stop, it’s pissing me off even more when I’m talking about it.”

***

_A few days later . . ._

The bar Louis works at is small, cosy and always crowded. The people are cool and there are always a lot of tourists visiting. It never gets boring, but sometimes it can be very stressful. As Louis is leaning against the counter, he notices two men walking through the door. One of them looks like the security guards he had seen at the concert; his broad shoulders are impressive, he’s dressed in dark colours and has very short hair. The other one is the complete contrary; he is lean, tall, wears skinny jeans, a white shirt combined with a light green/pink plaid, sunglasses and a dark green beanie. Louis rolls his eyes. These two look hilarious together and somehow they just don’t fit into this location.  

A few minutes roll by and Louis takes some orders from other guests and serves them their drinks. When he walks back to the bar, he notices the tall guy with the sunglasses standing at the bar, waiting for him. Louis thinks he looks ridiculous. Who wears sunglasses inside of a dark bar?

“Hey, uhm . . . could I get a menu for our table?” the guy asks when Louis approaches him.

Louis nods and hands the guy a menu.

“Thank you very much,” he answers politely but doesn’t walk away immediately.

“What else?”

The guy bites his lip. “I just thought . . .,” he says slowly but then shakes his head. “Um . . . it’s nothing.” He turns around and walks back to his table.

Louis frowns. This guy sounds familiar and he looks like Harry, the guy his sister likes but Louis isn’t sure if it’s actually him. But who else would wear sunglasses inside of a bar except for crazy, famous people? Louis has never thought much of celebrities and this guy, if it’s really him, is the best example that they’re all super extra. Louis hopes that his colleague Myra will serve Harry and his company but she’s nowhere to be seen.

Louis walks over to another table to get their orders first. He takes some empty glasses away from the bar and starts to clean the counter top when the who looks like a security guard and obviously is one, signals Louis that they would like to order.  

“How can I help you?” Louis asks the security guy, trying not to look at the other one who has pulled off his beanie by now. But he’s still wearing the sunglasses and Louis realizes it’s really him.

“I’d like to order the roast beef with potatoes and a beer,” he says, closes the menu and puts it back on the table. “And he’d like the burger with chips and a sparkling water, please.”

“Alright, thank you,” Louis nods and walks away.

Louis is still pissed but he has to be polite at work. His boss finds it increasingly important that guests are treated well in his bar although it’s difficult for Louis due to this special situation. But maybe he’s wrong and that guy just looks like Harry?

After a while, Myra returns. Louis asks her if she could look after the table where the supposed to be Harry is sitting. Mayra frowns but doesn’t ask questions. She just grabs the drinks Louis has already prepared and serves them. When Myra comes back, she looks as if she has seen a ghost.

“Do you know who’s sitting over there?” she whispers nervously while Louis is sorting out some bottles.

“Customers?” Louis answers cheekily and raises his eyebrows. Then he throws two empty ones into the box under the counter.

“Louis, that’s Harry Styles!” Myra nearly shrieks but luckily puts her hands in front of her mouth quickly. She seems to be as excited as Lottie a few days ago.

“I know,” Louis answers dryly, turning away from his colleague to refill the fridge.

Mayra crouches down too and grabs Louis’ arm. “You know? And you’re saying that as if it wouldn’t mean anything?”

Louis shrugs his shoulders. “It doesn’t mean anything to me. I don’t like him and by the way, what is this thing that you girls always have to throw a wobbly when it comes to those celebrity people? It’s absurd.”

“Louis, that’s Harry Styles from One Direction! He’s talented, pretty and he’s the nicest guy on this planet!” Mayra says louder, gesticulating.

Thank god the music is playing and nobody can hear Mayra talking. Louis shakes his head and taps his forehead. “You’re crazy, you don’t even know him. How can you be so sure he’s the nicest guy on the planet?”

“He just is. He’s always kind and respectful,” Mayra says softly, letting out a sigh. “I love him so much and he looks sexy with his long hair and those sunglasses.”

“You are mentally disturbed, seriously!” Louis huffs. “He’s wearing sunglasses in a bar. In. A. Bar.”

“But that’s sexy!” his colleague whines.

Louis exhales audible. “Okay, okay I see. Keep on dreaming about him at home but please don’t forget about work here. We’ve got new guests over there and I don’t think that they’ll be very happy if they have to wait any longer,” the boy growls and points to the right. “And by the way, I’ve met him and all I can tell you is that he isn’t nice. He’s just pretending that . . . “

“Wait, what? You _met_ him? When? Why didn’t you tell me about it?” Myra nearly shouts, causing Louis to send her a glare.

“Oh Jesus, why should I?” Louis hisses. “It’s not that interesting. I was backstage before a show with my sister, that’s why. Not on purpose.” Louis lets out a heavy sigh. “Now calm down and do your job. I don’t want to talk about him anymore.”

Louis blows air through his lips. He isn’t quite sure if Mayra will be able to survive this evening without fainting or something as he’s looking over to Harry and his security guard. They are talking about something but suddenly Harry looks up and smiles at Louis. This is creepy. The boy pretends he hasn’t seen him and walks over to the kitchen to get some of the meals that are ready to be taken to the costumers.

After a while Louis spots Harry walking over to the bar again where he is cleaning some glasses. He sits down on an empty seat in front of Louis and folds his hands. To Louis’ surprise, he pulls off his sunglasses and puts them onto the counter top.

“Hey,” Harry says. He presses his lips together and pushes his hair back.

“Hey,” Louis replies dryly.

“I just . . . I mean I wonder if, uhm . . . have we met before?”

Oh no. Louis really doesn’t want to have this conversation with him. “You’re Louis, aren’t you? You were backstage at the show with your sister,” Harry says as he’s fiddling with his sunglasses. “I wasn’t expecting to meet you this soon again.”

“What are you talking about?” Louis asks with a frown. “Why would you expect to meet me again?”

“I . . .  uhm . . . I don’t know like . . .  I mean I thought . . .”

“Okay, okay,” Louis interrupts Harry. He signs his refusal by holding his hand up. “So yeah, I’m Louis and we met a few days ago. Is everything okay with the food?” Louis tries to change the topic. He really doesn’t want to have this conversation.

“It’s delicious. We like it very much thank you,” Harry answers politely.

Louis nods. “Good. I’m sorry but I still have a lot of work to do here, so would you mind if I got occupied again instead of having a chat? I’m sure my boss wouldn’t appreciate that.”

“Oh . . . uhm . . . of course,” Harry mumbles and gets up. “Sorry.” He walks back to his table and sits down.

Louis doesn’t pay attention to Harry anymore and Harry doesn’t make a move to talk to him again. Thank god.

When Louis comes home around two am, he’s surprised to hear muffled female voices coming from the living room. When he opens the door, he sees Lottie and his friend Eleanor sitting on the sofa, wrapped in blankets. They’re sharing headphones and have a laptop in front of them.

Louis frowns. “El? What are you doing here?”

“What a lovely greeting that is!” Eleanor replies with a playful tone. “I’m here because your sister wanted to tell me everything about her meet & greet!”

“I wasn’t aware of the fact that you’ve become friends that quickly,” Louis huffs sarcastically.

“You don’t need to know everything, love,” Eleanor says teasingly.

“You don’t say!” Louis replies, gives his friend an annoyed look and leaves the room. He doesn’t feel like going to bed at all so Louis switches on the TV and flops down onto the comfy armchair in front of it.

“Okay so please tell me everything,” Eleanor says. “I was so nervous myself and it was such a pity that I couldn’t get concert tickets.”

“You have no idea how nervous _I_ was! I have never been so nervous in my life,” Lottie answers.

“How was Harry? Did he look nice? How did he smell? What did he say to you?”

“Oh god!” Lottie moans. “He looked so sexy! His hair was fluffy, his eyes were sparkling and when he hugged me, I thought I would die! He was so nice to me and his voice was so raspy,” Lottie tells Eleanor excitedly.

Louis turns around in his armchair and frowns. “Oh god, you should listen to yourself! You sound ridiculous! You don’t even know him. Of course he’s nice to everyone - he’s a celebrity who needs his fans so he has to be nice!”

“Could you stop being rude?” Lottie says angrily. “Isn’t it enough that you ruined my evening? Just shut the fuck up! You don’t know shit about Harry!”

“But you do? You know him? He’s a stranger and you’re my sister! No guy in this world has the right to touch you like that, especially not when the person we’re talking about is an absolute stranger to you! There’s no difference between a guy next door and a fucking snobby celebrity!” Louis yells at his sister.

“You’re so mean! Harry hasn’t done anything wrong but you did, it was you who was rude to him!” She hides her face behind her hands and starts crying. Eleanor puts her arms around the sobbing girl and pulls her close.

“Louis, stop upsetting her,” she says quietly. “Please.”

Louis just glares at Eleanor but stays quiet. He doesn’t want to listen to them anymore because this topic makes him angry so he plugs his headphones into the TV.

Lottie’s body is shaking as uncontrolled sobs escape her mouth. “And that’s . . . how . . . he . . . reacted there. He pushed . . . Harry . . . away . . .  from me . . . and . . . and . . . ruined everything.”

“I’m sorry, Lottie,” Eleanor says and leans her head against Lottie’s. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him. I’ve never seen him that angry and pissed. And that’s all just because of Harry? Weird.”

Lottie nods and wipes her eyes with a tissue. “I don’t know either. It could have been such a cool night but instead, it was nothing but embarrassing and sad. Harry gave me a hug, he didn’t do anything wrong,” the girl says while tears are running down her cheeks. “I couldn’t even get a picture with him because Louis interrupted our conversation,” she says, covered in tears. She wipes her eyes again. “At least I talked to him for a while. I . . . I miss Harry so much.”

Eleanor rubs Lottie’s shoulder. “I understand you’re angry but you know, you hugged him and you had the chance to talk to him. Not all girls are that lucky,” she says softly. “Look at me, I didn’t even get tickets.” Lottie and wipes away a tear from her cheek. “You know what? I think we should go to the ice-cream parlour tomorrow and we’ll get a huge sundae, okay?”

“I might need that,” Lottie agrees quietly. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Eleanor says. “Let’s try to get some sleep now and tomorrow, you’ll tell me everything again, if you want.”

***

When Louis goes to bed, the girls are asleep on the sofa. His sister looks so peaceful in her sleep. “I’m sorry, Lottie. I promise . . . I will make it up to you” he whispers and switches off the lights as he leaves the room.


	7. Harry Styles

The sun is burning mercilessly from the sky that afternoon. It’s the end of August and still, it’s unbearably hot outside and there’s no shade to hide from the sun anywhere. All Louis wants is to go home, get a coke out of the fridge and fall into the small pool in the backyard of his house. Instead, he has been waiting for hours in front of this posh hotel in central London, only because his sister is obsessed with those "One Direction" dicks. Lottie begged him to accompany her for three days and he agreed in the end, he agreed again to be involved in his sisters’ obnoxious fantasies for whatever reasons - he doesn't remember. Maybe just because he loves her no matter what and because her pleading look really got him weak, although Lottie doesn’t stop telling him that he promised her to make the fiasco with Harry up to her and this should be it. 

Now that he's here, Louis really regrets his decision. The girls around him (and there are _only_ girls) are talking about One Direction all the time. Some girls say the guys have already checked in but nobody has appeared yet. After some hours they’re still nowhere to be seen and Louis is getting impatient.

 “Even if they were here, they wouldn’t come out just because of you. It’s useless to waist even more time,” Louis tells his sister who’s scrolling through her phone.

“No, no, no!” she says, grabbing her brother’s arm. “Please, just two more hours! I’m sure they will come down soon! They love their fans and they know we’re waiting for them!” Lottie pleads, giving her brother a heart-rending look he has seen before. That’s why he’s here. “Please Louis!”

“It’s ridiculous. I don’t even know why I agreed to come here with you,” he huffs.

Lottie puts her hand onto her chest and gives Louis a small smile. She leans over to give her brother a cute little kiss onto his cheek. “I promise, if they don’t come out in about two hours we’ll go home, okay?”

“Okay,” Louis answers with a sigh while he pulls out his phone. “Two more hours is the absolute limit. Then I’ll drag you home, if necessary,” he half-smiles and leans against the metal barrier while some girls engage Lottie in conversation about One Direction.

It comes to Louis’ attention that a security guy has been watching the crowd for a while. He’s leaning against a pillar, scanning the crowd. Suddenly, he starts walking toward the waiting girls, opens the metal barrier for three girls to pass and leads them inside of the hotel.

“Oh my god!” a brunette girl yells out next to Louis. “I thought this was only a rumour but it seems to be true!” She puts her hand in front of her mouth shocked and looks at her friends with wide eyes.

“What rumour?” a girl wants to know.

“That they sometimes pick girls to have sex with,” the brunette answers.

“What? They take random girls to their rooms to fuck them?” Louis nearly shouts as he’s turning toward them.

“Louis!” Lottie scolds her brother.

The brunette nods. “I think so. They won’t come downstairs to pick them personally as you’ve witnessed but I’ve been told their security team knows what type of girl they like and then they take the girls to their rooms,” she explains. “Did you see those girls?” she continues, pointing to the entrance of the hotel. “I’m 100% sure they were chosen for that reason. What else? You saw them.”

“What the fuck,” Louis mutters. “Lottie, have you heard about this?” he asks his sister who’s sitting next to the girls.

“Yeah,” she nods. “But I don’t know if I should believe it,” she answers while she’s playing with her hair. “These girls might know someone who’s staying in the hotel. People talk a lot and we don’t have any proof. I don’t think they would do that, I don’t think they would use their fans that way.”

The brunette girl turns toward Lottie. “Well, I’ve only heard about it and I wish it wasn’t true but honestly, why would they let random girls into this hotel?” she says and points toward the building. “You have to admit that they nearly looked like whores with all that make-up and clothing. I don’t think they know anyone inside or that they’ll just sit down at the bar and have a drink randomly.”

Lottie lets out a sigh. “I wish they picked me.”

“You aren’t serious!” Louis yells and throws his arms in the air. “That’s disgusting – how can you say that, Lottie?!”

His sister looks at him in silence. Then Louis turns toward the girls. “And you? Would you also go up there if they picked you?” Louis’ voice is still loud and he’s terribly upset.

“There’s nothing that would stop me from going,” the brunette girl replies and the others around him nod along.

“Jesus,” Louis sighs, covers his face with his hands and shakes his head.

This is just too much. What’s wrong with these girls? Louis decides to ignore them and their conversation because it’s making him very angry. He tries to distract himself by messaging his friends about his wasted day. He promises to himself that he’ll never do something like this again, never. He knows that he broke this rule because he’s here but if his sister wants to go to a One Direction concert again or meet them, she will have to go there without him.

As Louis looks around, he notices another security guard standing near him and the girls. He must have been there the whole time but Louis just hadn’t noticed. He’s walking over to Louis who is still leaning against the metal barrier that was put up in front of the hotel to prevent the girls from walking inside.

“Hey,” the security guard says as he stops in front of the boy.

Louis looks up from his phone. “Hm?”

“I listened to the conversation. Don’t believe everything people tell you,” he says. 

Louis frowns. Why is he telling him that? He doesn’t answer what obviously encourages the guy to continue talking. “By the way, we could use some help in there. Two of our crew members are absent and I wanted to ask if you had a little time?”

“Me?” Louis asks surprised and points at himself. “Why?”

“Well, you seem a bit bored between all those girls and I thought you would like to do something else other than standing here? Plus, it seems you’re the only guy out here who could help us.”

Well, everything would be more interesting instead of waiting in front of this hotel, so Louis agrees. “You’re right. It’s pretty boring but . . . I’m here with my sister, could she come too?” he asks, pointing at Lottie who is still talking to the other girls.

“I can’t take her with us, I’m sorry,” the security guy replies. “We have to carry some heavy equipment and I’d say that’s no appropriate work for teenage girls – plus, she isn’t 18, right?”

Louis shakes his head.

“Sorry, not possible.”

“Okay then,” Louis agrees. “It’s not as if she wouldn’t have fun here,” he says and turns around to touch his sister’s shoulder to get her attention. She turns around to face him. “Would it be okay if I helped this guy with some stuff? I’ll come back when we’ve finished.”

Lottie nods. “Yeah, yeah, just go,” she answers shortly but immediately turns around to continue chatting with the girls. She won’t go anywhere so Louis doesn’t feel bad about leaving her alone for a few hours.

The security guard nods. “I’m Paul,” the man introduces himself, reaching out his hand to Louis. “Louis,” he says and shakes the guy’s hand.

“Good. Go to that sign at the end of the street, over there, see?”

Louis nods and starts walking. When he arrives, Paul opens the metal barrier for Louis to pass. To his surprise, the security doesn’t lead him into the hotel directly. They first walk away from the entrance and turn into a side street that’s not glamorous at all. Louis clears his throat. “Uhm . . . sorry but . . . didn’t you want me to help you in there?” Louis asks as he’s following the man down the street.

“I do but I can’t use the main entrance. The girls would probably start screaming again and we might get in trouble because of the crowd. Plus, they’d probably ask too many questions. We’re just taking a back door to get inside so nobody sees us.”

Louis stays quiet as he follows the man through an inconspicuous door into the hotel. First, they walk through some dark, twisty corridors that are barely illuminated. They quickly pass the kitchen area and a few more rooms until they finally reach an exit door that leads into the luxurious lobby. Louis and Paul enter one of the escalators that take them up to the 6th floor. Louis has never seen such a beautiful hotel from the inside. The windows are huge, framed by heavy, cream coloured curtains. The walls are partially covered in red silk and the paintings that are hung up on the walls seem to cost millions of pounds. Exquisite carpets cover the dark wooden floors and absorb nearly every sound. The elegance and luxury of this hotel is intimidating and Louis suddenly feels small and unworthy to even be here.

He follows Paul across the lobby toward a smaller hallway. “Rooms 601-612” is written on a golden sign next to the elegant glass entrance door that separates the rooms from the lobby. But why are they here? Nothing looks like work in this hotel. Is Paul leading him to a hotel room? Why?

“You haven’t got work for me, have you?” Louis asks the security guard sceptically who has just stopped in front of room number 610.

Paul shakes his head while he knocks on the wooden door. “Not really. There was no other possibility to get you away from the girls without drawing too much attention to it. It was a little white lie, to be honest. Harry asked me to bring you up here so we both thought of this solution.”

What the fuck? Harry knows who Louis is but why does he want to see him? Before the boy can think clearly, the door is opened. Harry’s hair is loose, his skinny blue jeans cling to his legs and he’s wearing an old, worn Rolling Stones shirt with holes.

“Thank you,” Harry says to Paul, giving him a nod.

“You’re welcome!” Paul answers and leaves immediately.

Louis doesn’t know what to do or say. He’s just standing there, looking at Harry who pushes his hair back and ruffles his hand through it so that it falls back onto his shoulders. “Hi Louis, sorry for the inconvenience,” he says and reaches out his hand toward the boy who doesn’t respond to Harry’s gesture. Why should he?

Harry pulls his hand away and his cheeks flush a little. He bites his lip and ruffles through his hair again. “Would you like to come in?” he asks and steps aside as if Louis was a friend who stopped by.

Louis looks at Harry without answering but steps inside. He doesn’t really know what to do so he’s just standing there, waiting for . . . whatever will happen. It feels so awkward to be here and Louis feels terribly out of place because this room is bigger than any room in his house he shares with his friends – and he’s not even paying attention to the luxury furnishings. Even the crème carpet seems to be too valuable to just walk on it.

“What were you doing outside?” Harry asks Louis after he has closed the door.

Louis leans against the door and folds his arms. “The question is why am I here and why did Paul lie to me?” he replies dryly. “Obviously there’s no work to do up here, as I was told.”

Harry bows his head and runs his fingers through his hair, again. “I’m so sorry,” he says. “It’s just impossible for me to go down on my own because of the fans . . . so I always ask Paul if he can ask people . . .” Harry tries to explain but he can’t finish his sentence because Louis suddenly interrupts him.

“Ask people to what?” Louis says angrily. “So the stories the girls tell down there are fucking true? You brought me up here just to mess around with me? Are you insane?” Louis yells at Harry and walks closer to him. “This is unbelievable!” Louis continues, throwing his arms in the air. “I mean, do you think you can have sex with everyone you want to? What the fuck is this sick shit?” Louis is furious. He shakes his head over and over again, lets out a huff and turns around to leave.

“Don’t go,” Harry says quietly as he’s following Louis, touching his shoulder to stop him. “You’re wrong. I don’t mess around with people.”

Louis turns around and jerks Harry’s hand away. He doesn’t want to be touched by people he doesn’t know in general and he definitely doesn’t want to be touched by Harry. “Don’t try to convince me that you’re a good guy, Harry! Ask Paul to get you someone else because you can’t fool me! The security guards outside choose girls and lead them inside. I saw it. Some of the waiting girls were also talking about that fact and hell yes, now I know it’s true! You’re in a boyband, aren’t you? It’s common for you to mess around, isn’t it? But I’m not a girl which brings me to the conclusion that you must be gay or at least bi and this is something that will probably be interesting for the press and the media in general when I tell . . . “

“No! Please don’t do that!” Harry yelps desperately. “Don’t tell them, you can’t tell anyone about this!”

Louis narrows his eyes. “Are you afraid that your little secret could ruin your fame?” he asks with a mocking undertone and lets out a fake laugh. “It’s not only that you’re obviously into guys. You use lies to get people to do what you want! You and your colleagues fuck girls, probably also teenage girls! What sort of human beings are you? Do all celebrities think that normal people are there for their personal entertainment? That’s disgusting, really,” Louis spits, glaring at Harry. Although Harry’s a few inches taller than Louis, he looks smaller right now.

“You’re wrong.” Harry says again. His face is flushed and he almost looks . . . hurt? “Please, let me explain everything.”

“Why should I listen to you?” Louis fires back, his tone coolly. “I don’t even know you! You touched my little sister, you stalked me at work! And why would you want to talk to me for God’s sake? We’re two different kinds of people. Just look at this room. Even being here is absurd for me! This room probably costs a small fortune per night, probably as much as I spend for my rent, university fees and groceries in months! It’s outrageous. And you want to talk to me? About what? The weather?”

Harry sighs and rubs his arms that are partially covered in tattoos. “I know it’s weird and I’m aware of the fact that you must be very angry at me but please, give me a chance to explain everything.” Harry walks over to the sofa, sits down on an armrest and covers his face with the palms of his hands for a few seconds. He exhales loudly, then looks at Louis.

This situation is so weird. Although Louis is angry, he wants to know what Harry’s excuse is so he follows Harry into the living room area where he sits down on one of the sofas, opposite Harry.

“I . . . I lied to you again but . . . just . . . just a little,” Harry stammers. “I’m sorry, I . . .”

“Stop saying sorry and please all the time! It’s annoying!” Louis says. He’s not being nice at all and he is aware of that. 

“Okay so . . . I . . . well . . . it’s true that the security guards sometimes bring girls up for some of us to . . . have sex with.” Harry rubs his face with his hands. “I . . . at first I . . . I did it too but soon I found out that I didn’t like it so I just talked to the girls because sometimes our life can be quite lonely when we’re touring.”

Louis frowns. “And they keep quiet about this in public?” He rolls his eyes.

Harry looks at Louis. “Well, kind of. The first thing they have to do is sign a contract that covers this issue. Their ID’s have to be checked so the question if they’re underage shouldn’t come up at all. If they talk about it they can be sued and I’m talking about millions and millions of pounds. Nobody would risk that.”

“And where’s my contract?” Louis asks sarcastically.

 “I don’t need one for you because I trust you.”

“You don’t even know me.”

 “I do, Louis, I do know you. Well . . .  at least I know a few things about you,” Harry says. “That’s why you’re here.”

Louis frowns. “Just because we met for like five minutes you think you know me already?”

Harry presses his lips together and shrugs.

“So? Then tell me where I live and what I like to do in my free time,” Louis replies and changes his seating position.

“You live in London and you like to play football.”

“That’s random. That could be any guy.”

“Okay then. You live near Finchley Road. You live in a typical English brick stone house and there’s a small pink graffiti sprayed next to your entrance door. I know that you share the house with two friends who study at university with you. You play football in a club twice a week and sometimes you just go to the pitch near Primrose Hill to train with your friends from university. Your skateboard is a black one that has bright blue wheels and a few days ago you painted “Vans” onto the bottom.”

“This is fucking creepy!” Louis yells and throws his arms in the air. “How do you know all this?”

“I’ll tell you in a minute,” Harry says as he’s getting off the armrest. “Sorry that I haven’t offered you anything. Would you like a coke or something?”

“No, I just want to know what’s going on here. Don’t try to distract me,” Louis declines.

Harry simply nods. He sits down on the sofa, pulls his legs close to his body and presses his lips together. “I noticed you at one of our first concerts of the tour, some months ago. You were there with a blonde and a brunette girl.”

Louis nodded. “My sisters, I went with them.”

“Lottie and Fizzy, as I remember,” Harry answered.

“You’re scaring me, seriously! What do you do all day? Stalk me and my family?” Louis is slowly losing his temper again. He’s torn between staying and leaving immediately.

“Please let me explain,” Harry says.

“I’ve heard that a few times already,” Louis hisses but stays seated.

“I . . . I saw you there and . . . I liked you, I mean, not that I knew you, I just liked how you acted with your sisters and I wanted to get to know you but I had no idea how. Usually people go home after concerts and we never see them again.”

“Only the ones you use for a good fuck, right?” Louis mocks and lets out a fake laugh. “I’m going to need therapy after our talk, seriously.”

Harry exhales loudly before he starts talking again. “I don’t know why but . . . it was the only way for me to get to know more about you,” Harry explains. “I asked Paul if he could, you know . . . find out more about you and every time he got back and told me things . . .” Harry sighs. “Paul was so good that he even found out that you’d be here today so . . . that’s why he took you to my room, because I told him to.”

“I thought this would get better but instead, it’s getting worse! Jesus! Do people always do what you tell them? I don’t know what to say, honestly! So, you are really trying to tell me that Paul has stalked me for months and he would have continued if I hadn’t been here today? What the fuck?” Louis’ voice is so loud and he’s so upset.

“Uhm . . . kind of but . . . I promise he’ll stop because you’re here now and it would be nice if we could . . . uhm, you know like . . . spend some time together?” Harry asks shyly.

Louis can’t believe Harry’s words. “What’s wrong with you? Do you really think that after you lied to me and literally forced me to be in your hotel room I’d like to spend my time with you? Are you fucking insane?” Louis yells. He gets up and gesticulates. “It’s not like we met in the streets and I can trust you after you’ve been stalking me for months!”

Harry looks at the smaller boy in silence as he’s getting up too. “I have to go now. My sister is down there and I don’t want her to end up as a sex object for the other creepers,” Louis says sharply. Then he lets out a mocking laugh. “Why am I even telling you this, I’m sure you already know.”

And then Louis walks out of the room and slams the door with a loud bang.

***

“How was it?” Lottie asks when Louis returns.

“It was okay. Can we leave now?” he answers dryly. He doesn’t really feel like talking and even more not about Harry.

Lottie pouts. “You said two hours would be okay for you.  I still got about one hour and a few minutes or so and the girls were talking about Harry you know, that he might come down soon. Please, Louis! Please!” she pleas.

“Fine,” Louis agrees unwillingly just because he stands by his promises.

After a while, Louis sees Paul walking out of the hotel, directly approaching Louis. “I think you forgot this,” he says and hands Louis a folded piece of paper.

“I didn’t . . .” Louis replies but Paul has already turned around and walks away. Just when he’s about to look at it, Lottie pulls his sweater so Louis lets the piece of paper disappear into the pocket of his jeans quickly.

***

When he’s home, the boy pulls the crumbled piece of paper out of his pocket and unfolds it. A number is scribbled onto it, Harry’s number. “What’s wrong with this guy?” Louis whispers to himself in disbelief and shakes his head, staring at the black numbers for a while. Instead of calling Harry, Louis considers calling the police because of the stalking but he doesn’t. He tears the paper into tiny pieces and watches the snippets falling into his bin. Then he switches on his computer and logs onto Youtube.


	8. Changes

Louis loves music in general. He has been playing the guitar since he was five years old and he writes his own songs from time to time. One of his favourite free time activities is discovering new, extraordinary music online. Sometimes he uses parts of known songs, adds some new lines or mixes them with his own ideas. Only recently he had bought new recording software for his computer and his family got him a small beginner set to build his own professional recording studio at home. His equipment isn’t the very best but it’s enough for him to work with.

During the last weeks, Louis has been working on a project but he’s stuck. After listening to some songs, he stumbles across a video that’s called “If I could fly”. It’s a self-made black and white video about two girls that’s not really catchy but the arrangement of this beautiful piano melody in addition with the raspy but still soft main voice sends chills down his spine during the first seconds already. Louis closes his eyes to blend out everything else. Interpretation of the song is wonderful and the main voice that carries the song is so pure, so flawless and unique, that Louis listens to the song again and again. The piano melody is calming, relaxing even and in combination with that voice - it’s absolute perfection. He presses play over and over again until he finally reads the description below the video. But what is this? Louis jerks back, pressing a hand over his mouth that’s wide open in shock. The boy can’t believe his eyes as he reads the description over and over again, shaking his head in disbelief. The song is sung by One Direction, Harry Styles is carrying the main vocals. What the fuck?! 

 ***

As hard as he tries, Louis can’t get this beautiful voice out of his mind. He still thinks that boy groups (and Harry in particular) are fucked up because of various reasons but Louis has to admit that he really likes this song. He even discovers some other songs of One Direction (when he was at the concert he was always more focused on his sisters than the music) and to his surprise, there are a few he really likes although he’d never admit this to anyone. His favourite voice is Harry’s. But who is he? He was playing the nice guy when Louis was with him but maybe he was just acting. He’s a celebrity and they usually aren’t like other people. Most of them tend to be arrogant, unworldly and distant as fuck. Louis is sure that Harry Styles doesn’t differ. The boy is torn between wanting to forget about Harry completely because he’s still pissed and wanting to know more about him.

***

A few days later, Louis decides to have another look. He’s sure that he’ll be soon convinced that Harry is just another boring celebrity with no substance behind so he types “Harry Styles” into Youtube search and presses the grey button next to it. It takes only seconds until a lot of different fan videos, interviews and concert clips appear on the screen. Louis clicks the link to a fan video with the title “My favourite moments of Harry Styles 2010-2015”. The more Louis stares at the screen, the more he starts feeling sympathy for Harry. It’s not planned at all, it’s a process that captures him like a trap and soon he gets the feeling that there’s no way to escape. Harry doesn’t turn out as the asshole Louis wants him to be. His answers are thoughtful, his voice soft and warm and his charisma is so special that Louis just can’t take his eyes off the screen. Harry’s voice is turning his brain into mush within seconds and the part where he’s on Japanese television, doing that spin and saying “Come to me” just kills him. How sexy is that? Fuck. He’s really thinking all this but no matter how hard he tries to find something negative in that video, he doesn’t succeed. “Maybe it’s just this video,” he mumbles and clicks another one. Louis watches about ten videos in a row and slowly something inside of him starts stirring. The next video he’s watching is the interview with Nick Grimshaw. Harry and the others are sitting on a sofa and Harry’s on vocal rest so he uses his phone for communication. He looks so pretty that it nearly hurts. How is that even possible? How can someone look so breathtakingly beautiful? Harry’s long, brown curls look so fluffy, his skin is literally glowing, his mouth and lips are beautifully curved and the little dimple that appears on his cheek when he smiles is adorable. His eyes seem to sparkle and his smile is so bright. Louis can’t stop staring at the screen. This guy has captured him within seconds and he just can’t do anything about it. “You’re insane, really,” he says quietly to himself as he’s taking a deep breath.

***

The next day after uni, Louis finds himself scrolling through pictures of Harry again. It’s like a drug: He just can’t stop. Harry is fucking beautiful, the prettiest man he’s ever seen. But why is he even having these thoughts about a guy? A guy! But Louis can’t deny that Harry looks cute and innocent yet sexy, hot, irresistible. Like a model. Who the fuck is he? An alien who can transform his body into every shape he wants to? Did he also look like this when Louis met him in his hotel room? Louis doesn’t remember anything from that day and it seems like their meeting in Harry’s hotel room didn’t really happened. Louis can’t stop investigating. He finds more information about Harry but soon, it gets too much for him. There are thousands of articles about the guy, positive and negative ones, all different kinds of articles but it’s nearly impossible to form an objective opinion about him. He’s a global superstar who’s a member of the world’s most successful boy band, he’s a guest at Burberry or Gucci fashion shows, appears on red carpets a lot and people like Cindy Crawford, Emma Watson, Rod Stewart, Cara Delevinge and Mick Jagger belong to his circle of acquaintances, friends even. He owns a house in London and one in Los Angeles, both worth millions.

*

Even days later, Harry is the only thing Louis can think of. He’s on his mind every day and night, no matter how hard he tries to tell himself that this is the most embarrassing and strangest thing ever. What the fuck? Louis has always had girlfriends and this is driving him crazy. Harry is the singer of a boy band, just a fucking singer who has millions of female fans who scream and hyperventilate when he appears on stage. It’s ridiculous. The press addresses him as a womanizer and all those online articles just confirm this image but . . . why did he want to meet _him_? Louis discovers pictures of Harry and a model on a yacht. He looks so fucking rich on this huge boat with his naked torso, his tattoos, sunglasses and brown hat. As grounded as he seems in interviews, these pictures remind Louis that Harry’s life has nothing to do with his and that fact makes Louis feel small and unimportant. But still. He wants to see Harry again, something inside of him tells me he needs to although this thought seems hilarious compared to what has happened between them.

Just in that moment he remembers that Harry gave him his number. A wave of heat runs through Louis’ body, he feels hot and cold when he walks over to the bin but of course, it’s empty. His flatmate has already thrown away everything because it was her turn this month. Louis would usually thank her for that but today, he’s just angry because he was such a fuck up to throw Harry’s number away. “Fuck!” Louis yells and gives the bin a kick so that it crashes against his wardrobe.

A few seconds later, there’s a knock on the door. “Louis? Is everything okay with you?” a muffled female voice asks worried. Keira.

As Louis doesn’t answer, the door is opened carefully and Keira appears under the doorframe. She has long, straight hair, dark eyes and is dressed in sweatpants and a simple black t-shirt. Keira opens the door and picks up the bin to put it into an upright position again. “Hey, I thought something happened to you,” she says as she’s walking over to Louis who’s sitting on the bed, resting his elbows on his knees. Louis shakes his head and rubs his face. “It’s okay, thanks,” he mumbles.

Keira sits down next to him, rubbing his back gently. “What happened?” she asks softly. “I can tell there’s something on your mind. You’ve changed during the last week,” she says softly. “You can always talk to me, about anything.”

Louis doesn’t look up, but he nods. “I know,” he says and exhales loudly. She’s one of his best friends and Louis knows that he can trust her but in this case, it’s just difficult. “It’s just that I met someone.”

“Awww!” the girl says excitedly, clasping her hands together. “It’s always fun meeting new people. Who is it?”

Louis shakes his head. “I can’t tell you.”

Keira nudges Louis and giggles. “Uh, that sounds too mysterious. Will you meet again?”

“Not possible,” Louis answers.

“Does she go to uni with you? You could find out who her friends are or where she lives, maybe you could write a small note?”

“Not possible,” Louis repeats seriously again. Keira doesn’t get it and maybe that’s a good thing.

The girl sighs. “Sorry, I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, it’s just . . . I want to help you.”

Louis pulls her into a hug. “I know love, I know. But I’m afraid nobody can help me with this. Thank you for trying.”

Keira hugs Louis back. “If you need help, just call me, okay?” she says and leaves the room.

When she has closed the door, Louis lets himself fall back on his bed. How could he be so stupid to throw Harry’s number away? He called his sister insane but in reality, it’s him who is insane, completely insane.


	9. Manchester

Louis feels really stupid when he wakes up the next morning. Does he really want to meet Harry again or is it just some weird fantasy? Maybe it is and he should really concentrate on his studies again instead of thinking of random celebrities for whatever reasons. Louis turns around in bed. But no matter how much he tries to forget about Harry, he can’t. And the problem is that he can’t tell anyone about it, not even his sister or friends. What would they think of him? Why is he like this? What’s wrong with him?

Thank god Louis is busy with his studies during the day but in the evening, he gets weak. He checks the tour dates of One Direction online. They’re still touring but there won’t be a concert in London anymore which makes it way more difficult. Louis scrolls down the schedule and finds out that the next possible show he could attend would be the show in Manchester next weekend. He buys a ticket for about 70 pounds and books a room for one night at a cheap hotel. He doesn’t tell anyone.

***

On his way to Manchester, Louis is questioning what he’s doing. This trip seems so unreal and stupid, but now that he’s on his way there’s no turning back. He hasn’t really planned how to meet Harry or where to look for him, but the only thing he knows is that he wants to meet him again. When Louis arrives at the main station, he buys himself something to eat. While he’s sitting on a bench in front of the small fast food restaurant, he notices some girls walking around in One Direction fan shirts. It’s Friday night and the concert is tomorrow so if they are walking around already, maybe the band is already in town? Louis finishes his burger and fries before he takes the bus to his hotel where he checks in. He throws his bag on the floor, logs into the hotel’s WIFI and flops down on the bed. He answers some messages first, then he looks up some information for the concert tomorrow before he scrolls through pictures of Harry he has saved in his phone. Looking at these pictures makes him feel nervous and he considers going to the venue very early in the morning (he has learned this from his sisters). He needs to be as close to the stage as possible. Maybe Harry will notice him at the concert, maybe.

After half an hour Louis decides to check out some hotels where the band could stay overnight. He feels very stupid for even having that idea but he needs to try every possible way to meet Harry, even if that means that he will have to remain silent about this forever. Who knows, maybe they’re already in town and Paul will recognize him so he could meet Harry without going to the concert? He gathers his things together, pulls a sweater over his head and leaves the room. He takes the stairs down to the lobby where he asks the receptionist for a map of Manchester. Louis wants to mark the locations of five-star hotels so that he can decide where to go first. It’s early in the evening, so maybe he can find something while he’s out.

After Louis has been driving around the city to three different hotels, in vain he decides to try another one. It’s the “Principal” hotel, an impressive stone building that looks more than expensive; it looks luxurious as fuck. When he comes closer, he notices some girls sitting and standing near the entrance. Maybe he could ask them? He’s not sure if he should so he first buys himself something to eat at a small shop nearby, then he walks back to a small group.

“Hi girls,” he says, giving them a smile and some of them greet back. “It’s quite cold outside, what are you doing here?”

“Hi. We’re waiting for One Direction,” a brunette girl says and gives Louis a smile.

“Yeah,” the girl next to her adds. “We think they could be here since we’ve already seen some security guards walking around but we don’t know exactly.”

The brunette nods. “So, we’ll wait. Maybe they have already checked in or will do so later.”

Louis takes a bite of a chicken nugget. “So, you’ll stay here the whole night?”

“Probably yes and in the morning, we’ll go to the venue,” the blonde says and her friends nod.

“Oh wow, so you’re going to stay here the whole night although you don’t know for sure that the band is staying in this hotel?” Louis asks. He doesn’t want to admit that he’s possibly considering that too.

“Yeah, I think so,” the brunette says.

“Okay then . . . good luck.” Louis says goodbye to the girls and walks away. He sits down on the ground so that he can watch the entrance and the girls, but hides so they can’t see him. What should he do now? He’s already fed up from walking around so he decides to stay. He buys some more food and drink at the nearby food stand, then he returns to his place, sits down and stays there for two hours but nothing happens. The girls are still waiting but Louis has had enough. His eyes are nearly closing and all he wants is to lie down in his bed and get some serious sleep. He sets his alarm for 5 o’clock.

***

It’s still dark outside when Louis is rudely awakened from his sleep by a sharp ring tone. He growls as he’s trying to hit the snooze button, turns around in bed and pulls the covers over his head. He’s so tired and his eyes won’t open. Louis nearly falls asleep again when his alarm goes off for the second time. It takes him a few minutes to remember where he but that’s just because he’s so tired. It’s the day of the concert and Louis has one chance, just one.

When Louis leaves his hotel, it’s almost six in the morning. He isn’t a morning person, he hates getting up early no matter why and for whom. On his way to the venue he finds a small shop that’s already opened so he buys something to eat and a coffee there before he continues on his way. He’s almost asleep but still he notices groups of girls walking toward the venue too. When he turns around the corner, he can see why; there are many entrances and in front of every entrance he can see tons of girls. They are everywhere! Some of them have even spent the night here as far he can tell because there are sleeping bags and rubbish spread all over the place. It’s so early in the morning but this place nearly looks as if the concert would start in the next few hours. Louis walks up to his gate which is T and of course there are already many girls sitting on the floor between the silver barricades that are put up to control the crowds. The first three rows are completely filled with maybe about sixty girls. As much as Louis tries he can’t spot one single boy or man around, except for the security guys, but they don’t count.

Louis doesn’t feel comfortable at all. He feels like he’s out of place and if he listened to his voice within he would sell his ticket immediately and go back to his hotel. He could do that easily, there are some girls walking around with signs around their necks that say they’re looking for tickets. But he has a mission and he won’t leave without accomplishing it. Louis sighs before he takes a sip of his hot coffee. Should he really sit down next to the girls? What will they think of him? Some of them are already staring but he has no other choice if he wants to get to the front of the stage so he leans on the barricade and stares at the trees in front of him. The girls around him stare but don’t talk to him which is fine with him. He doesn’t want to talk with anyone that early in the morning so he just stands there and waits. The more time passes the more girls fill the place and in two hours the whole area in front of the venue is crowded with girls. It’s crazy.

In the afternoon, the band has sound check and for the first time Louis experiences what it means to be part of this crowd. Suddenly most of the girls around him jump up and start screaming! Just because they hear some guitars coming from inside the venue – it’s a mess. Some of them talk, some sing along but most of them just scream the names of the boys and Louis just doesn’t know what to do. It’s terrible. Plus, they’re pushing. He’s tall and quite strong but still. Thank god his phone isn’t running out of battery so at least he can message his friends. The only problem is that he didn’t tell them the truth so he has to be careful about what he’s writing. From time to time some girls talk to him and ask him what he’s doing at the concert but Louis is only telling them a lie he made up; that he wanted to accompany his little niece but his aunt called him and told him she got ill and now he’s here on his own because he wanted to see what such a concert was like. The story is ridiculous, but the girls don’t question it. Most of them are young teenagers and what Louis knows from his own sisters, they believe almost everything. Louis hates waiting and he hates the stress those girls make all the time. They can’t even stay in one place, it’s always jumping up, pushing, screaming, sitting down again and it repeats itself. Time doesn’t fly at all and Louis gets impatient. A look at his phone shows him that he has to wait seven more hours until they let the audience into the venue. Seven hours, that’s more than one shift at his bar, more time than he spends at uni.

Louis doesn’t remember how he has managed to survive the whole afternoon without food. Luckily, there was a nice family sitting next to Louis and their mum offered him one of her water bottles so at least he doesn’t have to dry out. It’s half past six now and the crowd is getting restless. The admission will be in half an hour but the girls are already getting up. Louis doesn’t understand why it’s has been like this for hours – without reason. The worst part isn’t the standing; the worst part is the constant pushing and shoving that’s going on, mostly resulting of the people in the back who try to jump the queue to get to the front. The girls are screaming and yelling and singing songs and Louis hates all of this. He hates the closeness, he’s freezing because it’s been raining for a few hours – not much, but enough to soak his jumper a little bit – he’s annoyed at everything and he fears that it won’t get any better inside.

How right he was. When the security guard opens the gate finally, the pushing and shoving gets worse. The girls who have passed are so hectic and nervous that the security stops them constantly again to check their bags. Once they are through the check, the girls run as if their lives were at stake.

When Louis has walked through the check he hurries because there are so many girls running past him that he thinks he won’t ever have the chance to get to the first row and when he steps into the arena, he knows he won’t. There are already people standing in front of the stage. Louis sighs. While he’s walking down the stairs, he lets his gaze wander over the first rows. Can’t he get any closer to the stage? The areas next to the sides are very crowded and the front is too, but on the right, there’s a bit more space and less people. The main stage is in front of him and he will stand a little bit off the beaten track but maybe that will help him get closer to Harry. What’ the point of standing in row twenty or further in the back? None. Louis isn’t here to watch the concert, he’s here to get recognized by Harry and therefore he needs to be as close to the stage as possible and this seems to be his only possibility. He quickly walks over to the right side and actually manages to stand a little bit closer to the stage. It’s not first row, but the fourth or fifth row so maybe that will help. There, Louis has enough space for himself. He’s next to the huge screens where the stage ends but it’s the closest he could get so he hopes that this place will help him. That Harry will notice him.

The more time passes, the more people fill the football field. It’s insane and Louis suddenly gets nervous. Will his plan work?


	10. The show

The first beats of the intro let the voices of the massive crowd of more than 60,000 people melt into one single scream. It’s so loud and shrill that Louis thinks his eardrums might explode. And then One Direction step out on the stage, surrounded by dense clouds of artificial fog. The venue is nearly bursting and it seems like the energy has captured everyone around Louis, including himself. And there he is; Harry. He’s wearing black Chelsea boots, black skinny jeans, a white sheer shirt and his hair hangs down in beautiful, defined waves. Louis stares at him as he’s walking down the runway for the first time during the show. Harry is waving and sending air kisses to the fans as the band starts playing the first song. It’s like a rush, everyone is freaking out around Louis. The girls are screaming, yelling, crying. Louis has already been to two of the band’s concerts but he has never been focused on what was happening around him because his biggest fear was that something could happen to his sisters so he paid attention to them, not the band, not to the people around him.

Louis isn’t in the first row but he’s close. He focuses on Harry as much as possible, tries to look him in the eyes whenever he comes close to his standing area but it seems like Harry doesn’t notice him at all. There are at least a few hundred people standing in front of the stage but he’s not here to enjoy the concert, he’s here to get Harry’s attention.  
The more songs the band sings, the more nervous Louis gets because nothing happens. Each time Harry comes close to Louis, he’s jumping and dancing around on stage but he never notices him, then walks away again. It’s frustrating, very frustrating because Harry isn’t far away from Louis and if they met in the streets, the boy would recognize him for sure. And another problem is Louis’ size. He’s not the smallest in his area but there are girls and even dads who are as tall as him or even taller so he’s not sticking out of the crowd much. He could try to yell Harry’s name but that’s a level he doesn’t want to reach, it’s an absolute no-go for him to act like all those crazy girls around him.

 The band performs the next two songs on the main stage right in front of him. At some point, Louis thinks that Harry looks at him for a moment. It’s in the split of a second, just a glance, a blink but then Harry focuses on someone else. Louis isn’t even sure if it happened, maybe he was just imagining it. This whole undertaking is frustrating and Louis is afraid that the concert will end just like that. That everything was useless.

When they introduce the last song, Louis gives up. Harry hasn’t really noticed him (and the second Louis thought he has doesn’t count) and he probably also won’t notice him during the last song. He’s disappointed. All he wants is to leave the venue and never encounter One Direction or Harry, again. He doesn’t want to be at this place anymore, he just wants to pack his stuff and go home – no matter if that meant that he would have to buy another train ticket because his ticket will only be valid tomorrow morning.

All the stresses and strains were pointless obviously so Louis pushes through the girls toward the huge staircase. Maybe it’s better that way, Harry and he have nothing in common and Louis thinks that wanting to meet him was the stupidest idea he has ever had. Well, if he’s honest it was the stupidest idea to throw away Harry’s number, but he can’t change it. He sighs audibly and continues walking up the stairs.

Suddenly, Louis hears someone shouting.

“Hey!”

The voice is coming from afar but Louis doesn’t think it’s him who it’s meant for so he continues to walk up the staircase quickly. He needs to leave, he doesn’t want to be here anymore.

 “Hey! Stop!” the male voice shouts again but Louis just keeps walking without paying attention to anyone.

“Louis!”

What? Someone called his name? Here? That’s crazy.

“Louis Tomlinson?”

Again, that’s weird. Louis stops and turns around finally. A broad security guy is rushing through the crowd, towards him. Has he done something wrong? Suddenly, Louis feels a certain, uncomfortable queasiness in his stomach.

“Are you talking to me?” Louis yells as the man comes closer.

“You are Louis Tomlinson, aren’t you?” the guy asks as he’s climbing up the stairs.

“Yeah but . . . how do you know that?” Louis frowns.

“Just follow me,” he shouts over the loud music, ignoring Louis’ question. He just gives the boy a sign to follow him and Louis has the impression he’s in a hurry.

“Have I done something wrong?” Louis yells while they’re walking down the stairs.

The guy shakes his head but doesn’t answer. He leads Louis through the crowd towards the stage again. On the right side, the guy opens the metal barrier and pushes Louis through it. They walk past the stage into the backstage area of the venue. Louis still doesn’t know what’s going on but he doesn’t have time to think.

“Harry told me to stop you,” he says.

“He did?” Louis asks astonished.

The man nods. “Here, I’ve got a guest pass for you. Make sure you wear it the whole time until you leave the venue. They will end the concert in minute so just wait here. Harry will pick you up,” he explains, turns around and walks away.

What is happening? Louis exhales and leans back against the cold concrete wall but in that moment a huge firework blows up on stage and the show ends with a loud bang. The stage lights get darker and thousands of unique voices melt into one loud, deafening scream as the lights go off completely.

Louis suddenly feels nervous again because he can see a few people walking off the stage. He can’t really see their faces because it’s quite dark plus, he doesn’t know who most of them are. They pass him without noticing. The boy is so nervous that he almost feels sick in his stomach.

“Hey Louis!” a raspy male voice says and Louis knows it’s him.

“Hey,” Louis answers. Suddenly, he feels so intimidated by Harry; he looks amazing, he’s literally glowing, his hair is fluffy and Louis can see some of Harry’s tattoos shining through his shirt. What is he thinking? Louis frowns at his own thoughts.

“We have to hurry a little bit because the car to the hotel is leaving in about two minutes,” Harry interrupts the boy’s’ thoughts as he’s walking closer.

Everything happens so quickly and Louis just reacts. He follows Harry to the luxurious Mercedes limousine that’s already waiting next to the exit. The back door is already open so the boys just get in the vehicle and the driver starts the engine the second Louis has touched the seat with his bum. The drive off happens so quickly that Louis is pressed into the back rest with force. This doesn’t feel real, it feels more like a movie and he can’t think straight.

Within minutes they’re at the hotel or more correct, in front of a dirty back entrance. The ride didn’t even take ten minutes but that isn’t really didn’t surprise him with the speed the driver had.

“Thanks man,” Harry says to the driver and shakes his hand. Louis follows Harry through the kitchen and corridors of the hotel until they finally step into an old elevator that brings them up to the 3rd floor. A few steps away there’s the main elevator which goes up to 6th floor. With a light sound the other elevator opens the doors and after a few seconds Louis ends up in a luxury corridor which reminds him of the first time when he met Harry, but this one is even more beautiful.

“I would like to take a quick shower if you don’t mind and then we can talk,” Harry says as he’s unlocking the door to his room with a plastic card.

“Okay,” Louis says quietly and steps in. He’s quite intimidated, hell knows why. The room he had been in when he met Harry for the first time was huge but this one is out of his imagination, it’s breathtaking. Louis takes his shoes off.

“You can sit down on the couch and watch a movie or something and if you want you can also take a shower after me,” Harry says as he’s closing the entrance door, pointing at the living room area.

There’s a TV hanging on the wall that’s nearly half as big as Louis’ bedroom. Harry takes fresh clothes out of the wardrobe and walks into the bathroom. Louis only watches him without saying anything. He still can’t process what’s happening.

“Oh, and if you want to drink something - just have a look in the fridge in the kitchen,” Harry adds, pointing at the kitchen area. “You can find everything there,” he says after he has taken some fresh clothes out of a drawer. Then the boy closes the bathroom door.

Everything happened so quickly that Louis didn’t have time to process anything. Louis looks around the room again before he sits down on one of the sofas. He exhales loudly and rubs his face. This situation is so weird and unreal at the same time. He’s staring out of the huge window that show a beautiful view over the city. He pulls his legs close and leans his head against a decorative pillow. Louis is thirsty but too shy to just grab something out of Harry’s fridge. If he was at his friend’s house it would have been different but he’s here, here in Harry’s hotel room.

The sound of the running water calms him in a weird way and after a while it mixes with Harry’s singing. The sound of it makes Louis smile because it’s such a nice sound. He closes his eyes and feels his body relaxing slowly. Louis is about to fall asleep, he’s too exhausted. The whole situation is exhausting in general. His eyes feel so heavy, incredibly heavy and he can’t do anything about it.

When Louis opens his eyes again, he doesn’t know where he is at first. Everything is blurry. He blinks a few times and rubs his eyes. Harry is sitting opposite him, reading a book. The boy looks up and smiles.

“Seems like you worked hard,” Harry says with a smirk as he’s putting the book aside. “Did you sleep well?”

Louis blinks again. “If you only knew . . .” he says quietly, his voice raspier than normal. He really fell asleep on Harry’s couch. Ouch.

“What?”

Louis sighs and sits up. “Waiting in front of the venue _was_ hard work,” he groans.

“I have no idea to be honest,” Harry smiles.

“You don’t say!” Louis says loudly, rolling his eyes. “I’ve been waiting for twelve hours there, endured screaming girls, pushing, shoving. I was hungry, thirsty . . . all in all, it was terrible.”

“Oh you . . . you did that?” Harry asks.

Louis nods. “I know it’s stupid.”

“Not at all,” Harry says seriously. “It’s not stupid.”

And then there’s silence. Louis would like to ask Harry what he thinks of him but he doesn’t.

“You must be hungry now,” the boy suddenly suggests.

“Pretty much.”

 “Would you like to order room service or would you rather go out and grab some food?”

“We can go out but please keep in mind I’m not a millionaire.”

“Don’t worry. I don’t fancy expensive places,” Harry answers. “I’d love to grab some food from Mc Donald’s, what about you?”

“Sounds good.”

“There’s one a few blocks away so if you don’t mind we can walk.”

“Fine.”

Harry pulls a dark green jumper over his head and grabs his phone and wallet. Then they leave the room.

“You’ve been nice to me,” Louis says as they’re stepping into the elevator.

“Have I?”

 “Yeah. Although I haven’t been the best company before, you know.”

“That’s how I am, I guess,” Harry smiles as he’s shrugging his shoulders. He pushes the button to ground floor. “There’s no need for me to be mean to you. The thing with your sister . . . uhm . . . I mean . . . I can understand why you were angry.”

Louis sighs but keeps quiet. He just doesn’t know what to answer while the elevator goes down quickly. “And I think . . . uhm . . . I’m sorry too for . . . for you know . . . uhm . . . the observation thing. I shouldn’t have done that and I can understand why you reacted the way you did,” Harry explains.

When the boys step outside, the wind is blowing strongly. It’s about to rain so they walk a little bit faster. “I was just angry about everything, about you and about the whole situation.”

“I noticed,” Harry replies, no anger in his voice. “Oh look, the restaurant is over there!”

“Oh thank god, I’m so hungry,” Louis groans. He’s happy that they’ve switched the topic. “The last thing I ate was a sandwich this morning and that was it. I’m starving.”

Louis orders a big mac with extra cheese, bacon, one extra cheese burger and some special chili cheese nuggets. Harry does the same but orders the cheese nuggets twice. The salesgirl asks the boys to wait for a few minutes because the nuggets are still cooking. They step aside and lean against the wall.

“I haven’t eaten for hours,” Harry groans as he’s pulling the blue beanie off his head and runs his fingers through his hair.

Louis sighs. “I hate waiting in general but I hate it most when it comes to food. I could eat all of the burgers over there, I swear,” he groans.

“You told me that you’ve been waiting for twelve hours in front of the venue, how did you survive?” Harry lets out a short laugh and covers his mouth with his fist. “I can’t believe you did that.”

Louis rolls his eyes and swats Harry’s arm playfully. “Stop making fun of me! You better keep quiet because you don’t know what I’m talking about,” he says.

Harry chuckles and gives him a smile. “Oh look, I think our bags are getting ready finally,” Harry says, tugging at Louis’ sweater. He’s pointing at the salesgirl who puts the fries into the bags. She closes them carefully, turns around and walks towards the boys.

“Sorry that it took a while, here are your . . . oh my god!” she yells out loudly. Her facial features derail within a second while she’s dropping the brown paper bags on the floor. Her eyes go wide and she puts her hands on her mouth. The paper bags tear immediately, some of the contents are spread around the floor and coke is streaming out of the paper cups. “Sorry I . . . I didn’t want to . . . oh my god, I . . . I’m so sorry . . . oh god,” she stammers. Her face is red and her eyes glossy. She bends down and starts cleaning up the mess.

Harry crouches down too. He puts his hand on her shoulder to calm her down. “Hey, don’t worry about it. It’s okay,” he says softly as he’s starting to put up the paper cups. “I’ll help you.”

The girl wipes her face with her arm. Her hands are still trembling. She’s sobbing quietly and excuses herself over and over again. Harry gives her a small smile and rubs her shoulder. “Could you just bring me a trash bag or something so that I can put everything into it?” he asks her.

The girl looks at Harry. Tears are running down her face and Harry wipes a tear away from her face. “Don’t cry love, there’s no need to cry. It’s all good, please don’t worry,” he tries to calm her.

The girl wipes her eyes again but then she finally gets up to get the trash bag. When she’s back with it, a tall guy suddenly rushes towards them. His face is red of anger and his eyes are about to pop out of his head. “What the hell happened here!?” he shouts aggressively so that his neck veins show what makes the girl start. “Can’t you do anything right?”

“Sorry,” the girl mumbles. “I’m so sorry.”

“This is not the way you treat our customers and that’s definitely not the way I want my staff to work for me!” he continues. His voice sounds intimidating, frightening.

Meanwhile it has gotten silent in the restaurant. Most of the people have stopped talking or at least lower their voices due to the guy’s reaction. It’s a very awkward atmosphere, nearly oppressive.

“How can you allow him to do your work?” the man shouts. He points at the mess on the floor and Harry. “It’s not up to him to clean!”

The girl is totally shocked and close to tears again. “Sorry, I . . . I . . . he-,”

“Stop saying sorry all the time and don’t try to put the blame on him! I don’t need people like you in my restaurant! I want you to stop working immediately and don’t come back for the next month. I guess you need some time off but you won’t get paid. And if something like that happens again, you will go home forever and never come back again!”

“But Mr. Adams, I . . . I need the money to pay my bills,” she sobs quietly but her boss doesn’t seem to mind.

“You had your chance, Jacey, and now go out of my sight!” he yells, pointing toward the exit.

Everyone is staring at the girl who looks totally devastated. Harry gets up and steps closer to the man. “She didn’t do anything wrong,” he says.

“She made you pick up the food,” he replies.

“She didn’t, I decided to help,” Harry says seriously.

“Mr. Styles, I don’t think someone like you would have to help with these issues. I’m sorry that your visit in our restaurant has been such a disaster. As compensation, I want you to pick anything you want to eat or drink, my staff will give it to you for free. Choose whatever you want and I hope you still want to be our guest,” the man says in a friendly tone.

“Mr. Adams, let me tell you something,” Harry says quietly in a very serious. “First, it wasn’t her fault. Second, I want to be treated like every other customer here and third, I think it’s a no-go to not help people in general when they’re in trouble. The girl was very friendly and she treated my friend and me very well. I don’t want your food for free just because of who I am.”

Mr. Adams stares at Harry and so does Louis, just like everyone else. The girl is standing nearby, still crying and sobbing quietly. “I will pay the girl since you aren’t able to treat her right and give her another chance,” he says.

“But Mr. Styles -,” he says but Harry interrupts him.

“You heard me. And now let me talk to her please because I don’t trust you.”

Mr. Adam gulps. He’s clearly concerned by Harry’s words and clears his throat. “Okay,” he gives in. He gives Harry and Jacey a sign to follow.

“Could you just order the same stuff again? But I’ll pay for it,” Harry says to Louis. “I just want to talk to her quickly and then I’ll be back. If we weren’t so hungry I would leave, to be honest.” Harry sighs and hands Louis the money.

The boy nods and gets in line again while Harry follows the restaurant manager and Jacey through the kitchen.

***

The manager leads Harry and Jacey to a small room that’s stuffed full with folders, documents and papers. “If you need something, I’ll be in my office over there,” he says to Harry, pointing at the door across the corridor.

Harry waits until Mr. Adam has left and closes the door. Jacey sits down on a chair and Harry does the same. The girl wipes her eyes again with her trembling hands. “I’m so sorry,” she cries and sobs heavily.

Harry touches Jacey’s arm gently. “Hey, hey, everything’s okay now, don’t cry.”

Jacey wipes her eyes again and looks at Harry. “Sorry for everything, I . . . I feel so embarrassed.”

“You don’t need to feel embarrassed, love,” he says softly.

The girl rubs her face, folds her hands and looks at the tabletop. “I feel so stupid for dropping your food, I . . . I don’t know what happened but when I recognized you I just . . . I don’t know . . . I just reacted. I’m so sorry. I just don’t know what to do now because I -,” she rambles but Harry interrupts her.

“Jacey, you aren’t stupid. I don’t want you to think that,” he assures her. “I am sorry for how your boss treated you, that wasn’t professional at all. And I want to help you out because I noticed how upset you were about not getting money for a month.”

Jacey looks up, her eyes are filled with tears. “He’s hated me from the start, I don’t know why,” she says.

“I’m sorry for that,” Harry says. “So, tell me, how much do you earn a month?”

Jacey exhales audibly. “I’m so nervous right now,” she admits.

“Why?”

“Because of you,” she says shyly. She fidgets with her fingers, her eyes not meeting Harry’s. “I’ve always wanted to meet you but . . . I never thought that it would happen at all . . . and now, under these circumstances . . . I don’t know. It’s weird and as I said, I’m nervous.”

“It’s all good, please don’t worry,” Harry says. “So, could you please tell me how much you earn here?”

Jacey sighs. “Not much but I need it. I receive a grant and I have another job but I study at university and I have to pay for everything on my own,” the girl explains. “I earn about 250-350 pounds here. It always depends on the day, which shift and how often I work,” the girl answers.

“Wow, that’s remarkable,” he says and pauses.

“You know Harry, it’s very nice that you offered to give me the money but I feel quite bad about it. What if Mr. Adams changes his mind, I mean then you don’t need to- “, she says but Harry interrupts the girl.

“Jacey, let me tell you something. I don’t care about if he will change his mind or not. He treated you so poorly, that’s unacceptable. Even if he did, I would like to give you the money as a small compensation. I know it won’t help the relationship between you and Mr. Adams but at least it’s something I can do to help you in this situation.” He sighs. “I want to give you the money, no matter what. You were so nice to us and he was an asshole.”

Jacey looks at him with wide eyes. “Do you . . . do you really mean it?” she nearly whispers.

“Of course,” Harry says.

“But . . . I don’t know if I can accept that, Harry.”

“I would be very happy if you did,” Harry says. He looks around and takes a piece of paper out of the printer, puts a pen on top and pushes it over to the girl. “Just give me the details of your bank account and I’ll transfer the money to you within a few days.”

“Oh god Harry, this is . . . this is so nice and I appreciate it very, very much. You don’t know what it means to me, I . . . I can’t believe this,” she says. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Jacey,” Harry answers. He waits until Jacey has finished writing. The girl is trying to hold back her tears but it’s not possible. While she’s writing, they drip onto the paper. “Sorry,” she says. The girl wipes her eyes and gives Harry the note.

“Thanks,” Harry says and folds the paper. The boy gets up from his chair and pushes the chair aside.

“Can I . . . maybe . . . give you a hug?” Jacey asks with her teary voice.

Harry just nods and steps closer to the girl.

Jacey hesitates at first. “But . . . I’m quite dirty from the kitchen,” she adds. Harry gives her a sweet smile, shakes his head and pulls the girl into a hug. “I don’t mind, Jacey, I really don’t mind.”

The girl starts crying even more as she wraps her tiny arms around Harry’s torso and puts her head onto his chest. “Thank you so much,” she sobs and Harry just holds her close for a while.

“I love you so much,” the girl whispers against his chest. “Thank you for everything.”

Harry rubs her back gently. “It’s all good, I’m happy to help.”

After Jacey has pulled back, she asks Harry for a selfie. Harry agrees and he also writes an autograph for the girl before he says goodbye to her. He walks down the stairs to the restaurant and looks for Louis. His stomach is rumbling, he’s so hungry that it nearly hurts. After a few seconds he spots Louis sitting in a corner, looking out of the window.

“Oh god, I’m starving!” Harry groans as he’s sitting down opposite Louis. “Sorry it took so long, I hope you weren’t too bored.”

“It’s all good,” Louis says. “Only the girls over there got on my nerves,” he whispers. “They seem to be crazy, to be honest. First, they looked at me all the time and . . . uh, now they’re staring too by the way; well and then they started asking me questions about you and I just didn’t know what to say,” Louis complains. “I told them to leave me alone.”

Harry chuckles. “I’m sorry. Maybe they fancy you?”

“Of course they do, they were interested in you,” Louis growls and takes a bite of his burger. Harry smirks at Louis as he’s shoving some fries into his mouth and takes a huge bite of his burger too. There’s silence between the boys for a while because they’re hungry and with their mouths full.

“By the way . . . I wanted to tell you that it was very nice how you treated that girl and I liked how you stood up to Adam,” Louis says suddenly. “You impressed me.”

Harry shrugs. “Thank you but wouldn’t you have done the same? What he said was very stupid and how he treated her is just against everything I’ve been taught.”

“That’s remarkable.”

“No Louis, it’s just courage and the need to fight unfairness. Look, just because I’m Harry Styles it doesn’t make me more important than others. I hate when people label me as famous and try to treat me differently than _normal_ people,” Harry answers, air-quoting the word “normal”. “I absolutely hate it.”

Louis doesn’t respond. He just listens.

“And we’re not talking about little girls here Louis, little girls who don’t know what they’re doing. We’re talking about a grown ass man who should know how to treat people, especially when this is his restaurant. He should know better than treating his workers that poorly.”

“Yeah, you’re right I mean . . . I don’t know how it feels to-,” Louis says but gets interrupted by some girls who are walking towards them.

“Harry, could we take a selfie together?” one of them asks and Harry agrees. He gets up and gives them his best smile.

Louis is pissed. The conversation was serious and the girls just interrupted them. They didn’t even wait for him to finish his sentence nor did they ask if it was okay to disturb. One of the girls starts crying and Harry rubs her arm gently what makes her burst out into tears even more. The girls are excited and video the whole experience. It doesn’t take long until half of the restaurant is standing around Harry and Louis’ table. They even take pictures from the outside through the window and Louis feels very uncomfortable. All he wants is to leave this place or at least to continue their chat but it seems impossible. The girls just won’t go away and Harry is writing one autograph after the other. As much as Louis tries to ignore the girls, he can’t. That’s why he leaves to get some extra boxes to take away the leftovers. Nearly half of the food is still on their trays and Louis is still hungry but as it seems, they won’t finish their food in this restaurant.

When they leave, Louis grabs the bag of food. The girls are following the boys out of the restaurant and the other girls who are standing in front of it also surround Harry wanting cuddles, autographs and selfies. Louis can’t understand how Harry can give those girls hugs. They are strangers to him, aren’t they? He could never hug someone that tight if he didn’t know them.

“If you line up, I can do everyone,” he says but they don’t react. It’s such a mess! Some of them push and shove the others, they call Harry’s name over and over again, some of them cry and nearly hyperventilate, others won’t stop pulling his clothes but to Louis’ surprise, Harry stays calm and friendly.

When Harry wants to go, he gives Louis a sign and excuses himself politely. As they’re walking away, a bunch of girls follow them along the street. Harry turns around after a while and asks them not to do so because he needs his privacy.

Most of them walk back but three don’t. It’s not that they’re next to Harry and Louis but they do follow them a few meters away. “Why don’t they just stop following you around? They are so annoying; how do you stay so cool and polite?” Louis asks Harry. “I would freak out probably!”

“Most of them are okay but some of them are . . . well, like them,” Harry clarifies, pointing back. “The problem is that I don’t want them to know where we’re staying so if they won’t stop following, we’ll just walk around for a while and then call a taxi.”

They continue walking but the girls won’t stop following. “I have an idea,” Harry tells Louis and turns around. He waits until the girls are only a few meters away.

Harry stops walking. “Is there anything I can do for you?” he asks as the girls come closer. There’s no anger or annoyance in his voice. “I’d really like to spend time with my friend here without being followed.”

“Can we take a few more pictures with you?” a brunette girl asks Harry.

“Will you stop following us, then?”

The girls nod.

“Alright then,” Harry agrees and takes a picture with each girl quickly. “Have a nice evening and sleep well,” he says as he waves them goodbye. Harry and Louis wait until they’re sure that the girls are gone.

“I’m impressed how you cope with all of this,” Louis says. “It’s remarkable. I would have cursed or yelled at them to leave me alone.”

Harry sighs. “It’s part of my job, you know. It doesn’t mean I’m not angry or something, I am a little bit but I just can’t let them know.”

“Weird,” Louis says.

“Professionalism,” Harry laughs. “It’s not easy all the time, to be honest.”

The wind blows strongly through the streets of Manchester and it’s starting to rain heavier again so the boys run all the way back to the hotel. When they arrive in Harry’s room, Louis takes his shoes off first and puts the food on the table in front of the sofa before he lets himself flop down onto it. It’s so soft and comfortable that Louis never wants to get up again. He puts his head onto one of the huge decorative pillows and watches Harry who’s filling the kettle with water.

“I’ll make us some hot chocolate,” he says as he’s taking two mugs out of the cupboard. When the water has heated up, he fills both mugs and walks back to Louis. “Here you are,” he says and sits down opposite him on the same sofa. Louis puts his hands around the warm mug, trying to warm himself.

“I’m happy that we’re finally here,” he continues. “So tell me, why are you here or better, why were you at the concert?”

Louis sighs and takes a sip of his hot chocolate.

“I thought you hated me?” Again, there’s no anger in Harry’s voice which never fails to impress Louis. He’s very forgiving which is amazing and Harry really seems to be a nice guy. Louis thought he was only pretending, but now that he has spent several hours with him, he’s changed his mind.

“Yeah, I have to admit that I hated you at first but if I tell you everything, you’ll probably kick me out of your room.” Louis shrugs and presses his lips together.

“I won’t kick you out. You can be honest with me, I don’t mind.”

Louis sighs. “Okay, I will be honest with you but I . . . I’m embarrassed,” he replies but feels his cheeks getting hot.

“You don’t have to be.” Harry’s voice is soft.

“I’m here because I lost your phone number.”

“Oh. How?”

Louis puts his cup on the table, garbs a small, decorative pillow and squeezes it in his lap.

“Well . . .  to be honest . . . I didn’t really lose it, I . . . I threw it away,” he admits. Louis looks at Harry and just in that moment when he wants to say something, Louis continues. “And now I’m sure you want to know why I am here or why I went to the concert?” Harry nods.

“I discovered one of your songs online but I didn’t know it was your song at first. I loved it so much that I listened to it over and over again. I loved everything about it, the melody, the voice . . . everything. When I read that it was your voice I couldn’t believe it.”

Louis pauses and looks at Harry. “I wasn’t very happy in the beginning that it was you because of everything that had happened and . . . boybands and stuff.”

“And the song was the reason why you came to the concert?” Harry asks. “Did we even play it?”

“Well, not really. I looked your name up on the internet to get more information about you because your voice was nice and I thought . . . well I thought about who you really were.” Oh god, this is terrible. Louis feels how the heat is rushing through his body up to his head, letting his cheeks getting hot again.

“I bet you saw all those ugly articles about me,” Harry says, covering his face.

“I saw some of them,” Louis admits.

“Terrible,” Harry groans, pushing his hair back. “You should know that most of them are bullshit.”

“The only thing I thought was how famous you really are, that our lives are completely different and that I’ve nothing accomplished compared to you.”

“Don’t say that,” Harry answers seriously. “Please don’t say that.”

“But it’s true. Look at where you’re staying, look at how people react when they see or meet you and I bet your bank account contains more money than my family and I have ever had,” Louis says.

“Louis, I-,” Harry starts talking but the boy interrupts him by holding his hand up. “I had already thrown away your number but then I realized that I wanted to know more about you and . . . yeah, I thought of how I could get in touch with you again,” Louis explains. “That’s how I decided to buy tickets for the concert.”

“You must be crazy,” Harry says and Louis frowns. Shit. “Crazy as in a good way, of course,” he adds smiling and in that second, he throws a pillow at Louis. Louis is caught off guard but then he throws it back which ends in a funny pillow-fight that causes several vases and lamps to fall onto the floor but the boys don’t mind. They have such a good time and Louis can’t remember when he has laughed so hard. They end up lying on the floor, gasping for air, panting, giggling. It’s so childish but it’s the best thing Louis has done in months.

“I haven’t had a pillow-fight in years, fuck!” he laughs, throwing his pillow at Harry lazily.

Harry catches it, giggles and turns his head toward Louis. “Same. I never thought they could be so much fun!”

“What about the broken vases and lamps?” Louis asks as he’s getting up from the floor.

Harry giggles. “I’ll pay for them, don’t worry. Usually I’m not breaking things because I’m not one of those rock band members but in this case . . .”

“Only hearts, probably,” Louis adds but wishes he hadn’t said it.

“Fuck you,” the curly haired boy laughs and throws two pillows at Louis at once.

Louis just smiles at Harry but places the pillows on the sofa again. “I enjoyed myself big time but I should really go now. My train is leaving early in the morning tomorrow.”

“Oh okay,” Harry says and gets up from the floor too. “Do you want me to call a taxi for you?” he asks, fixing his tousled hair.

“That’s not necessary, I’ll walk. My hotel isn’t that far from here.” Louis finishes his hot chocolate quickly and puts the cup into the sink. “But thanks for the offer.” The boy gives Harry a smile. He takes the Mc Donald’s bag to the kitchen area where he puts Harry’s food on the kitchen counter.

“It was such a fun night, thank you for all your company,” Harry says.

“Yeah, it really was,” Louis replies while he’s lacing his shoes.

“Would you mind giving me your phone number?” Harry asks as he’s walking towards the entrance door with Louis. “I’m afraid that you could lose mine if I gave it to you again.”

Louis rolls his eyes.

“What?” Harry says with a laugh. “You threw my number away and now you really expect me to trust you with this?”

Louis holds his hands up. “Okay, okay! I’ll give you my number.”

“How generous,” Harry mocks Louis as he’s pulling out his mobile. He nudges him slightly, handing him his phone. Harry gives him a pleading look. “Please,” he begs playfully, looking at his new friend with puppy eyes.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Louis laughs but types in his number. “Here you are.”

“I’ll send you a message in a few minutes,” Harry says and lets his phone slide into his pocket. “Text me when you’re at your hotel, okay?”

“Okay,” Louis answers and walks toward the door. “Good night Harry and thanks for everything.”

A few seconds later, Harry sends Louis the first text message. _Here’s my number in case you’re wanting to keep it this time ;)_

 

 


	11. An unexpected guest

Spending time with Harry was so much fun that Louis feels lonely when he arrives at his hotel. He puts the food on the bed, switches on the TV and sends Harry the promised text message. The boys keep messaging until Louis falls asleep, his phone in his hands.

The next morning, Louis wakes up very early. By 9 o’ clock he’s already sitting on the train, his thoughts travelling back to yesterday. It seems surreal that he was at the concert, that Harry noticed him and that they had so much fun. It was the best and funniest night he has had in a long time. He knows it happened but still, it feels surreal. He saw Harry on stage, in front of thousands of screaming girls. It feels so surreal. But it was Harry, he’s the one who gets invited to fashion shows for the most famous and known designers, Harry who has won many awards and prizes, Harry who’s the most known and most popular member of One Direction but yet, he chose to spend the evening with Louis. Louis scrolls through their text messages which makes him smile. Harry isn’t just entertaining, he’s funny as hell and indeed one of the nicest guys he has ever met. He wasn’t just pretending when his sister met him or when they met at the toilet. It was all him. Louis sighs as he leans his head on the window, watching the landscape passing by quickly so that all the colors melt into a green/brown painting of nature.

Louis wants to talk with someone about Harry but he isn’t sure if he can tell anyone about him. Maybe he shouldn’t. The moving train makes Louis sleepy and soon he closes his eyes, drifting off into the land of dreaming. The boy sleeps through the rest of the journey. Luckily the conductor wakes him up before he misses getting off the train in London.

***

At home, Lottie is in eating lunch in the kitchen. “Louis?” Lottie says astonished as the boy walks in. “Where have you been?”

“Away,” he replies dryly as he’s opening the fridge to get himself something to eat. “How was your weekend?”

“Oh, it was nice actually when I noticed that I had the house for myself,” Lottie says with a mocking undertone. “The only thing I wondered about was why you neither answered my calls nor my text messages? Were you doing drugs or something?”

Louis taps his forehead. “Are you crazy? I’m not doing drugs! But I live here and you don’t have to be informed about everything I do in my free time.”

“What would you do if I disappeared all of a sudden? Would you stay as cool as you’re pretending to be now?”

“Why do you keep pushing? I didn’t disappear all of a sudden, I left you a note!” Louis replies annoyed as he’s making himself a sandwich with ham and cheese.

“Oh wow, a note. You send me text messages all the time, something’s wrong with you and that whole weekend!”

Louis doesn’t respond as he’s putting some lettuce on his sandwich. He puts the ham and cheese back into the fridge and closes the door.

“Tell me Louis!”

“Damn Lottie, nothing’s wrong with me! I can do whatever I want, can you stop getting on my nerves? You’re not responsible for me!” Louis shouts at his sister.

When Louis takes off his jumper, Lottie nearly jumps up from her chair, pointing at Louis’ wrist.

“What the fuck is this?!”

“What?!” Louis yells and does a gesture with his arms. Fuck. He knows. He forgot to remove the paper bracelet they gave him at the concert. “I was at a club,” Louis lies. “What could that be.” He rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

“Don’t mess around with me! This is a One Direction concert bracelet! Where were you? Were you at a concert? Without me? Why?” Lottie glares at her brother.

“It’s none of your business where I was!” Louis says angrily, grabs his sandwich and walks up the stairs to his room. He throws his bag on the floor and lets himself flop on the bed where he starts munching his sandwich. A few minutes later he gets a new message. It’s Harry.

_Harry: Hiii Louis!! Last night was fun but the hotel manager wasn’t that happy about the broken stuff haha_

_Louis: XD It was. I wish I could be where you are because here it’s stressful as fuck. I haven’t been home for more than ten minutes and my sister is already annoying me._

_Harry: That’s how sisters are. We had one interview this morning and we’ll have at least 4 more during the next few hours and another show in the evening, I’m not sure if you would like to be here with me. It’s stressful too._

_Louis: Does this mean you have to deal with more screaming and hyperventilating girls all day long?_

_Harry: Yeah!_

_Louis: Ugh._

_Harry: Think professionally, Louis!_

_Louis: I don’t want to. When do you think we can meet again?_

Harry doesn’t answer for a long time. No matter how long Louis stares at the screen, nothing happens. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked him. Maybe he just doesn’t want to meet Louis. Maybe . . .

***

Harry messages Louis late in the evening. He had been busy during the day and didn’t have time to message but he tells Louis that he’ll be in London for the weekend and he definitely wants to see him again. Harry doesn’t know when he’ll be back exactly so Louis gives him his address in case he wants to visit.

The next week goes by as usual. Louis goes to university, studies for his tests, meets his friends at the football club and works at the bar. He asks his boss if he could have two days off at the weekend and he promises to look for a substitute for Saturday and Sunday. At least he will try.

Next week is Lottie’s last week at London zoo. Louis and his sister have fought so much during her stay that Louis is actually happy that she will be leaving. He loves his sister very much but in combination with One Direction and secrets, they’re not a good match at all. He knows that everything will be normal again so he tries to be nice to her and not yell at her anymore. Lottie is sorry too and apologizes for her behavior towards Louis. She asks him about the concert again but Louis dodges the issue successfully and Lottie stops asking eventually.

The chats and phone calls between Louis and Harry soon become a habit and Louis is very excited about his new acquaintance. He loves his old friends too but with Harry, it’s different. At least it’s his opinion and everybody seems a little bit boring compared to Harry but Louis often feels like that when he meets new people. Maybe that’s just him? Anyways, it is what it is.

It takes Louis one day to not think about how famous Harry really is anymore because it just doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter when they’re talking on the phone, it doesn’t matter when they send each other messages. It’s just them and their friendship and everything else seems unimportant. Louis has the impression that he has known Harry for a long time already, it’s crazy. He’s not only funny but also very interesting and he can be serious, too. Louis loves their discussions, he loves Harry’s view on different topics. To his surprise, there’s never an awkward pause when they talk to each other.

That’s why Louis is excited when Harry tells him that he’s flying home to London on Friday evening. He doesn’t know when exactly so it could be early or very late so the boys agree to meet on Saturday evening since Louis has a football game with his club in the afternoon.

***

Louis’ football match goes well and in the end, it’s their team who wins. That’s why they decide to go out after the game. It’s a fun night out with his friends from the football team, some of their girlfriends, and everyone else involved. Around one a.m., Louis decides to go home. He feels quite tipsy when he gets up from his seat but it’s not too serious. When he’s outside, the cold air feels fresh against his hot cheeks. A girl stands outside with her friend and they offer Louis a cigarette. After he’s done, he leaves. The walk home is refreshing and soon Louis doesn’t feel the alcohol in his body anymore. He wants to text Harry but his phone isn’t there; neither in his pockets nor in his bag. He must have left it at home.

When Louis approaches his house, the street is almost completely dark because some of the street lamps aren’t working properly. It seems like there’s someone sitting on the low wall next to the entrance but he’s not quite sure. All he can see is a shadowy shape but everything looks weird in the dark so maybe he could be mistaken. But when he comes closer, he notices that it’s Harry who is sitting there with two huge bags.

“Harry?!” Louis says half questioning, half astounded. “Is that you?”

“Yeah,” the boy answers quietly as he’s getting up.

“Why are you sitting here in the cold? What happened?” Louis asks as he’s locking up his bicycle.

“I can’t find my keys. My flight was delayed so I arrived late to the airport. When I went to unlock my door, I noticed that my keys were gone. I don’t know if they were in my house or if I’ve lost them somewhere.”

“Oh.” Louis pulls his keys out of his pocket.

“Yeah, and the problem is that my phone died so I couldn’t call anyone. The shops around here are closed and there are no people on the streets I could have asked.”

“But you told me that your sister lives in London too?”

Harry nods. “She does but she’s not at home this weekend so I thought I would come here. And I thought it would be more fun than staying at a random hotel. I hope you’re okay with that?”

Louis pats Harry’s shoulder. “Of course it’s okay! I’m happy to see you again,” he replies and unlocks the door.

A few minutes later, they boys are sitting on Louis’ bed and Louis offers Harry some leftover pizza from the day before. “I hope you don’t mind that it’s cold,” Louis says as he holds the pizza box out to Harry.

“I love cold pizza and as long as there’s no fish or pineapple on it, it’s the best food ever,” Harry smiles.

“Ugh, I hate fish or pineapple on pizza too. It’s disgusting.” He pulls a face which makes Harry giggle.

“Yeah, it’s disgusting.” Harry takes a piece and a huge bite. “Thanks, Lou. I haven’t eaten for hours, I’m starving!” he says with his mouth full and a small piece falls on Louis’ bed. “Sorry,” he laughs and tries to pick up the food.

Louis raises his eyebrows playfully, smirks and shakes his head. “This will be your side of the bed then – I mean, if you’re okay with sleeping in one bed with me . . . if not, you will have to take the floor because the sofa is already occupied by my sister, as you know.”

Harry holds one hand up while he takes another bite of his slice. “I’ll clean that up in a second and I’d rather choose your bed than the floor or the sofa,” Harry says with his mouth full. He puts his slice back into the box, cleans his hands and tries to get the mess off the cover. Louis just laughs at him because the more he tries to “clean up”, the dirtier the spot gets.

“You’re a hell of a cleaner, Harry,” he laughs.

“You could at least help me?” he says seriously but when Louis bursts out in laughter, Harry joins him. Louis presses his hands on his mouth immediately. It’s in the middle of the night and he’s scared that he could have woken someone.

“You’re mean,” Harry complains as he’s getting up from the bed, putting the pizza box onto Louis’ drawer.

“I’m not,” Louis replies. “I’ll even bring you a wet cloth, wait here.”

“Thank you,” Harry giggles.

Louis cleans the stain as good as he can before the boys sit down on the bed again. They continue eating and talk about random things. Eventually Louis tells Harry about his match and Harry tells Louis about his day. “It’s so tiring when they ask you the same questions over and over again. After the talk show I went straight to the airport but when I arrived there, they announced that my flight was delayed,” Harry groans. “I’d been waiting there for three hours, it was boring as hell and the flight was terrible due to turbulences.”

“I hate flying,” Louis remarks. “It scares the shit out of me and turbulences are the worst.”

Harry shrugs his shoulders. “They can be a bit distracting but I’m used to flying. The only thing I don’t like is the take-off and that pressure in the ears. Sometimes it won’t go away for hours and one time I even thought I was deaf and it would stay like that forever.”

“I don’t feel secure up there,” Louis says, pointing up. “I prefer travelling by car or train.”

“I can understand. But sometimes flying is the fastest way to get somewhere so . . . why didn’t you answer my messages, by the way?” he asks.

“I didn’t know where my phone is,” Louis admits. “Sorry.”

“Oh thank god, I thought you were angry or something.”

“Why should I?”

Harry shrugs. “I don’t know?”

Suddenly, Louis yawns loudly as he’s stretching himself. “I’m so tired. Would you mind if I went to bed? If you’re not tired you can-,” Louis says but Harry interrupts him.

“Oh no, no,” he says, “I’m tired too, it’s alright.

Louis shows Harry the bathroom and soon, the boys are fast asleep.

 


	12. Saturday

“Are you awake?”

Louis loves the sound of this voice but . . . is he still dreaming? He moves a little bit. It must be late already because he can see the sun shining brightly through the gap between the thick, dark green curtains. Tiny dust particles are dancing in the sunrays that are shining through the windows. The boy exhales audibly before he stretches himself, a squeaky sound escaping his mouth he can’t do anything about. He turns around and looks into a pair of green eyes. Louis blinks twice and frowns but then he remembers what happened.

“Hey,” he says. Harry’s loose hair is sprawled around his head. “Do you always make those cute sounds in the morning?” he asks with a low voice, giving Louis a smile that shows his dimple. Harry’s morning voice sends shivers down Louis’ spine.

The boy covers his face with both hands and rubs his eyes. “Cute sounds?” he asks.

“Very cute,” Harry says as he puts his hands under his cheek and looks at Louis.

“What are you talking about,” the boy groans sleepily. A small, hoarse laugh escapes his mouth. “You’re making me blush!”

Harry smiles but stays quiet and Louis closes his eyes again. He can feel Harry looking at him. “I don’t want to get up,” Louis mumbles quietly as he’s turning around, nuzzling deeper into the covers.

“Me neither,” Harry sighs. His voice is thick with sleep and Louis loves it. He can feel Harry stretching next to him, his arms touching Louis’ back and then, a few seconds later, Louis can feel Harry’s body slightly touching his and to Louis’ surprise, it doesn’t feel weird. It feels nice, actually. Louis is almost half asleep when Harry nuzzles closer to him a little bit, letting out a small sigh. The warm, cozy feeling lets Louis fall asleep within seconds.

***

When Louis wakes up for the second time this morning, Harry isn’t in bed anymore and Louis isn’t sure if maybe he just had a vivid dream. But when he props himself up a little bit, he can see Harry’s two brown bags sitting next to the bed. He stretches, rubs his eyes and gets out of bed. His door is ajar and he can hear someone walking along the corridor.

“Hi sunshine!” Harry says as he’s walking into the room. His curls are falling perfectly on his shoulders and face. His torso is naked and he’s wearing tight, black Calvin Klein pants. His body looks so nice and the tattoos are . . . sexy. Fuck. Louis rubs his face to get rid of his thoughts. Then he leans his back against the wall. “Hey,” he answers with a smile.

Harry closes the door carefully and pushes his hair back. “Would you mind if I opened the curtains and the window?”

Louis shakes his head. “Not at all.”

When Harry opens the window, a fresh breeze causes Louis to shiver. Harry rubs his arms and jumps on the bed, sliding under the blanket again. “It’s cold outside,” he says and pulls the covers closer to his body.

“Do you always sleep naked?”

“I’m not naked, love,” Harry replies, winking at Louis.

“Well . . . almost,” Louis says.

“I love being naked actually. It makes me feel free, I don’t know. But I thought you would act all weird if I got completely naked so I decided to keep my pants on at least,” Harry says seriously.

“Because you’re so big?” Louis blurts out. Fuck. This is one of those moments where you want to shove the words back into your mouth or disappear forever. He was just thinking it; he hadn’t planned to say anything like that. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What is even happening with him? He has never had these thoughts when it came to men so why now? Fuck. Louis is blushing tremendously, it’s so embarrassing.

Harry doesn’t seem to mind. He just shrugs and lets out a short laugh. “Depends on what you’ve already seen, you know,” he answers, looking at Louis whose cheeks have a dark red color by now which makes Harry chuckle.

“Harry I . . . I haven’t . . . I mean I-,” Louis stammers when suddenly someone knocks on his door.

“Louis?” It’s Lottie.

Louis jumps out of the bed and walks to the door. He opens it a little bit, pushing his head through the gap. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Well I . . . it’s lunchtime already and I’m making lasagna. I just . . . I just wanted to say sorry for yelling at you and . . . I would like to eat together since Keira and Stan aren’t home,” she says. “What do you think?” Lottie asks. “We haven’t had quality time for so long and I’d be happy if it was just us two, you know.”

“That’s nice Lottie, thank you,” Louis answers. “I would love to but-,”

“What?” she interrupts him, clearly disappointed.

“Oh . . . uhm . . . it’s nothing. Sorry.  I’d love to join you,” Louis says with a smile.

Lottie tries to look over Louis’ shoulder, pointing at the room. “Is there a reason why you won’t open the door?” she asks frowning.

“No, no . . . I’m . . . I’m just naked,” Louis lies and gives Lottie a fake smile. This is terrible.

“Oh okay,” she says and nods. “Lunch will be ready in about twenty minutes,” she tells Louis, turns around and walks down the stairs.

When Louis has closed the door, he leans against it and lets out a sigh.

“Do you want to hide me in your room forever?” Harry asks. “You’re acting as if I was your one night stand you would have to hide from your mum,” the boy says and giggles.

Louis sticks out his tongue towards Harry. “I really don’t want to know what would have happened if she saw you,” he says. “Last time was definitely enough for me.”

 “So, I’m not getting a piece of the lasagna? Do you want me to leave your house through the window or what?” Harry pouts playfully, giving Louis the puppy eyes look.

“No of course not but maybe you could sneak out when I’m in the kitchen with her.”

“Oh god,” Harry laughs out quietly as he’s covering his face. “This is like a soap opera but okay – if that’s what you want, I’ll do it.”

“I think it’s the best for all of us,” he smiles and rolls his eyes. “Lottie is so obsessed with you, I really don’t want to imagine how she would react if she saw you.”

“But don’t you think she will notice at some point since we’re friends?”

Louis smiles and shrugs. “Probably, but now isn’t the right time.”

“Okay,” Harry nods. “I don’t mind.” He gets up, ruffles through his hair and puts on his jeans. “Are you still okay if we meet later?”

“Of course, yeah!”

“What do you want to do? I thought we could maybe ride our bikes in the park or just walk around for a while?”

“I’d rather walk, I love the park and after that we can just decide what to do, I’m quite spontaneous so-.” Louis rambles off.

Harry nods. “Sounds good. I will message you later, probably around five or six if that’s okay with you.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll just go to the bathroom quickly and then I’ll be gone,” Harry winks and walks toward the door.

“But-,” Louis says. Harry interrupts him, holding a hand up. “I’ll be quiet and quick but I really need to wee and at least wash my face and brush my teeth. Don’t worry so much, Lottie won’t notice I’m here.”

Louis exhales. “Okay. I’ll be downstairs so you can just leave.”

Harry nods. “Thank you for letting me stay,” he says as he pulls Louis into a hug. “And thanks for the pizza,” he smiles.

God, he smells heavenly. “You’re welcome,” Louis answers and gives Harry a smile too. “See you later!”

Louis walks down the stairs first to distract Lottie.. The plan is that Harry follows, shortly after Louis has started the conversation with his sister. “Oh Lottie, what is this smell? It’s delicious!” Louis yells out as he’s entering the kitchen. It smells so good what reminds him of how hungry he is. “Sorry about earlier, I know it was weird,” he says as he gives her a hug and kisses her temple.

Lottie smiles at her brother. “It’s alright, sorry for being nosey.”

“It’s all good, don’t worry.” Louis pulls two plates and cutlery out of the kitchen cupboard and places them on the small table in front of the window. “What are your plans for your last weekend in London?” he asks her.

“Well I’m going shopping with Eleanor and her friends and then we’ll go out later. I bet we’ll get home so late that I’ll sleep through Sunday.” Lottie checks on her food in the oven with a fork. “Looks good, I think we can eat.”

“Thank god, I’m starving,” Louis growls as he’s placing a bottle of water on the table.

“Could you please pull out the lasagna? I need to go to the bathroom,” Lottie says and Louis gets nervous.

“Now?” he asks, completely aware of how dumb his question is but . . .

Lottie frowns. “Why not? I need to wee!” She shakes her head as she’s walking out of the door. “Sometimes you’re really crazy, Louis.”

Oh fuck. Louis hopes that Harry has already left because if not . . .

Two seconds later, he can hear his sister screaming. Fuck. Louis runs out of the kitchen just to see both of them standing on top of the staircase. Lottie’s face is red, she’s breathing heavily and repeating “oh my god, oh my god”. She’s covering her face with her hands and she’s clearly at the edge of hyperventilating. His sister’s behavior is embarrassing and Louis is helpless. He doesn’t know what to do so he just yells at her furiously. “What the fuck Lottie, can you stop acting completely insane? What’s wrong with you?!”

Louis’ shouting doesn’t help but makes Lottie cry even more. “Sorry,” Louis tells Harry who signals him to let him solve the situation. He puts his bags down and pulls Lottie into a hug. “It’s so embarrassing, really,” Louis mumbles as he turns around to take the lasagna out of the oven.

“Hey Lottie, it’s just me, don’t cry,” Harry says softly to the upset girl. Her whole body is trembling and tears are streaming down her face. She can’t even speak because she’s sobbing heavily. When Harry leads Lottie downstairs, the girl is at the edge of hyperventilating. He lets her sit down on the sofa. “Louis, do you have a small paper or plastic bag?” he yells. “It’s urgent!” Lottie has clearly difficulties to breathe since her sobs won’t let her properly. She’s crying and sobbing frantically, plus she’s trying to talk, which sounds ridiculous. Louis just stands there, not believing what he’s witnessing. He thought what he had seen at the meet & greet was the absolute maximum, but he had never thought it could increase that badly, especially not in Lottie’s case.

“Yeah wait,” Louis says. He rummages through the kitchen cupboard and hands Harry a small brown bag. “Something like this one here?”

Harry nods. “Perfect,” he answers, giving Louis a small smile.

Then he turns towards Lottie again. He puts his hands on her thighs and looks her in the eyes. “Listen love, you have to calm down. I’m going to put this bag in front of your mouth and nose and you have to breathe normally and as good and deep as you can,” he explains.

His voice is so warm and soft and calming that Louis can’t help but stare at Harry who gently pulls Lottie’s hands away from her face. “I will hold the bag in front of your mouth and nose now and you will breathe into it.”

Lottie nods. Her face is red, her eyes wide and her eye makeup is running down her cheeks in dark streams. Her whole face is wet, her eyes red and her cheeks flushed. If Harry hadn’t been here, Louis would have probably called an ambulance. The condition Lottie is in is frightening and embarrassing at the same time. Harry probably won’t want to have anything more to do with Louis after this.

“Breathe,” he encourages Lottie. “Don’t stop. I’m here, okay? Breathe normally, calm down. There’s nothing to worry about,” Harry says. His voice has such a soothing effect, even on Louis, who’s sitting now.

Lottie hasn’t calmed down yet but Harry won’t stop talking to her. He keeps pressing the bag onto her mouth and nose, trying to calm her down. After a while, she holds the brown bag with her own hands and Harry just sits next to her, rubbing her back gently.

Louis catches himself wishing it was him. What the fuck is he thinking?

“Just like that, you’re doing great, Lottie,” Harry says with a low voice. “Breathe.”

After about half an hour, Lottie has calmed down finally. Harry pulls the brown bag away from her and gives her a smile. “Do you feel better now?” he asks.

Lottie just nods, wiping her eyes. “I love you,” she cries and presses her body against Harry’s. Harry wraps his arms around the crying girl and holds her close. “I love you so much,” she whimpers quietly and wraps her arms around Harry’s waist.

Louis rolls his eyes in annoyance but Harry just gives him a smile. He doesn’t seem angry or anything. How can someone stay so calm in situations like this? He’s probably used to them, maybe that’s it. “I’m in the kitchen in case if you need me,” he says. Harry nods. Louis can’t watch them together like this, it kind of hurts him in a very strange way he can’t explain to himself.

Louis puts a big slice of lasagna onto his plate and starts eating. He can hear Harry talking to Lottie in the living room and it seems like she’s acting normal again. After a few minutes, Harry walks into the kitchen. “Everything’s okay now, I’m leaving. See you later.”

Louis just nods. “Alright, thanks.”

And then he’s gone.

Lottie walks into the kitchen after a while without looking at Louis. She sits down on the chair opposite him, staring at her empty plate. Louis just shakes his head but doesn’t say anything.

“It was him,” she nearly whispers as she’s staring at Louis.

“What are you talking about,” Louis says disparagingly.

Lottie looks at her brother. Her eyes are still red and wet from the tears but thank god she’s not crying anymore. “He was in your room, that’s why you wouldn’t let me in.”

“It’s none of your business,” Louis answers dryly. He can see tears pooling in her eyes again. “Oh fuck, would you just stop crying? You’re like a 12 year old, seriously!” he says loudly, shaking his head.

“What do you know! I love him, Louis! And you won’t tell me that he’s in our house, you went to a concert without me and why . . . why even do you _know_ him?” she cries, tears streaming down her face again. Jesus.

“Are you serious? Listen to yourself! Reactions like this make me think that you can’t behave normally around him! And it’s not just that, you made a fool of me, that’s the worst thing!” Louis yells at his sister.

“Stop yelling at me!” Lottie cries out. “Stop yelling at me . . .” she sobs and bursts out in tears again. Her body is trembling and Louis can't stand it anymore. He doesn’t feel sorry for her because in his eyes, she’s just overreacting for nothing.

“Lottie, please stop this shit. I don’t know what’s wrong with you, I don’t know why you’ve changed so much and I don’t know why we’re always fighting with me but all I know is that I can’t take this anymore!” Louis tells her more quietly, gets up and leaves the kitchen. “You can talk to me when you’ve calmed down.”

***

“Hey Louis, I’m here!” Harry shouts and waves at the boy walking towards him. Harry gives him a quick hug.

“I’m so sorry for everything, you can’t imagine how embarrassed I am,” Louis says as the boys start walking down the path. “I don’t know what’s wrong with Lottie, she’s insane. Thank god she’s leaving next week. We have been arguing and fighting so much just because of your band and in particular . . . you.”

Harry chuckles. “I’m sorry for causing trouble in your family, it wasn’t my intention.”

“I wonder how you managed to stay so calm and be that nice to her in that situation, really. If I was you, I would have . . . ugh, I don’t know what I would have but I’d definitely not hug and comfort her,” Louis says angrily and kicks an empty can out of his way. “And now you must think I’m crazy too.”

Harry puts one arm around Louis’ shoulders and pulls him close for a second. “You’re not, I like you. Without your sister we wouldn’t be here, would we?”

Louis makes an annoyed sound. “Yeah, yeah, you’re right. I remember when she showed me all those pictures of you, she was so obsessed and then she decorated the living room with posters and stuff.”

“That’s creepy,” Harry says as they’re turning into a small, uneven path that leads through a small forest.

“It is,” Louis sighs. “And that was the first time we argued. Since then it hasn’t stopped.” For a while they walk along the path side by side in silence until Harry starts the conversation again.

“So where does she usually live if she’s leaving next week?

“She lives in Doncaster with my mum and sisters,” Louis answers, kicking a pebble into the lake next to them. “She came here to do a work placement at London zoo. My other sister Fizzy started working in a bakery a few days ago and she always sends me pictures of the leftovers,” he smiles. “It’s pretty mean when you’re hungry.”

“That’s cool! I’ve also worked in a bakery for like two years before we started the group. Sometimes I miss working there. It was so much fun and I learned to make bread and other bakery produce you know, without preservatives, flavor enhancers and stuff like that. No heating up like they do it in most bakeries, everything was handmade and natural.” Harry sighs. “Talking about it makes me quite nostalgic.”

“Wow, that’s cool,” Louis says acknowledging. “But why don’t you go back when you’ve got some time off like, just for fun?”

“During the first few years I used to, but now it’s kind of . . . difficult.” Harry’s voice gets quiet at the end of his sentence.

“Why? You could still go there and work a little?”

“Technically I could but . . . it’s gotten more difficult because of my job, you know.”

“Won’t they let you work there because you’re in that band?”

Harry looks at Louis, gives him an amused look and chuckles. “No I could but . . . within minutes the bakery would be overcrowded with people,” Harry says shyly. It seems like he’s a little bit embarrassed to talk about his fame. He puts his hands in his pockets. “Too many people know my face now.”

“Oh,” Louis replies as they’re walking out of the small forest. It’s peaceful here. The air is crisply clean and the sun is shining through the clouds. “I forgot that you’re famous.”

Harry groans. “Please don’t say that, I hate that word so much.”

Louis remembers that Harry had said that to him too when he was in his hotel room for the first time. “But you are famous, I mean . . .”

“I am but . . . this word has no substance for me,” he sighs. “It’s like you have no other talents than being famous. People don’t analyze you, they just judge. Oh, he’s Harry Styles, he must be arrogant, unattainable, conceited. He doesn’t know how normal people live because his lifestyle is far from reality and stuff like that, blah, blah, blah.”

Louis stays silent. “They have no idea what it means to be in this band. It’s not only glamour, joy and fun all the time. It’s hard work 24/7, but people don’t see that. We work out, go to fittings, go to vocal training, media training, give interviews; sometimes more than five a day, we have team meetings with our management, record labels, designers. We have to deal with restrictions, contracts, stress, people who want to profit from you and day after day I have to deal with prejudices and the lack of privacy. Like, when you were at my hotel room. I couldn’t leave because if I did, hundreds of girls would have followed me. Paps are waiting everywhere when we’re working and they just want to get the best picture. They don’t care about you as a person, about your feelings. They only care about the pictures because that’s the job. When we’re working in big cities like New York, London or Barcelona we can’t even go sightseeing without people surrounding us. It was fun at first but it got worse the more popular we got. I’m not complaining about it when we’re working. But when you want to enjoy a day off or you’re in private with your friends, all the attention can get a little bit too much. Sometimes we can’t even go into shops or buy a hot dog in the streets. They sometimes close the shops for us so that we can be there without distractions. I hate it, but often we don’t have a choice. And people think that we’re snobby and arrogant. They just judge you on the things they read and see, they never question it and that makes me sad. People want you to be friendly and happy every day, they don’t think about you having a bad day or being sad. You have to go on, no matter what happens. Most people think I don’t care for anything else other than my designer clothes and money but that’s not true. These things are part of the job, they come with the job and I really try not to focus on them because it’s not that important. I’m interested in politics, I love being with my family and friends at home, I like the simple things in life. Going for a walk, having barbecues, watching movies, normal stuff everyone does. Being famous labels me in a very negative way and that’s why I don’t like it.”

“Sorry I didn’t want to upset you,” Louis says, not looking at Harry. His head is swimming after all the information Harry gave him.

“Don’t be sorry, I just . . . I just rambled. I really needed to get it out, thank you for listening though,” he says. Louis rubs Harry’s back in silence and Harry gives him a small smile. “What do you think about going home? I bought some food so we could cook something or make pizza?”

“Sounds cool,” Louis says. “Homemade pizza is so much better than the one we had . . . as long as it-,”

“Doesn’t have pineapples or fish on it,” Harry ends Louis’ sentence and laughs. “I bought a pineapple but not for the pizza.”

“Thank god,” Louis rolls his eyes playfully. “And now I’m hungry.”

“Me too,” Harry admits. “Let’s go home and make some food, okay? My home is just over there, maybe ten more minutes to get there.”

 

***

“Wow.” Louis says quietly when he enters Harry’s house. It’s a simple white building from the outside, not very big and showy as the other houses in his neighborhood, but inside it’s very beautiful. The rooms are quite spacious but not too huge, bright and flooded with light – a full contrast to the house Louis is living in. “This is all yours?” he asks in amazement as he’s walking into the living room that leads to a small garden. Framed pictures and paintings are gracing the walls, a bouquet of white roses make a beautiful contrast to the old, wooden dining table and the successful mixture of modern and ancient furniture makes the house look cozy and inviting.

Harry leans against the dining table and nods. “Yeah it’s . . . it’s all mine,” he says quietly as if he’s ashamed of admitting it. “I bought this place a few years ago.”

“You must have felt like you were in a prison at my house,” Louis says, bowing his head.

Harry shakes his head and frowns. “What are you talking about?”

Louis sighs. “I mean . . . look where you live, look where I live. You’re famous and I’m not and . . .”

“Louis, would you stop comparing you and me? We’re totally different!”

“Sorry I . . . I didn’t want to upset you,” Louis says. “It’s just . . . I feel so stupid and unimportant when I see all this.”

Harry exhales audibly.  “Louis, don’t talk that about yourself, please.”

“But it’s true.”

“It’s not.”

Louis stays silent and looks at Harry who walks over to him. Harry sits on the armrest of the sofa and shakes his head. “Look, I only have this because of my family,” he says, spreading his arms. “If it wasn’t for them, I would still live at my mum’s house which - is like yours.”

“But-,” Louis starts talking but Harry gives him a sign. “They proposed taking part in the x-factor castings and luckily they put me in that band. I had never expected to be put in a band and even when we were about to start this thing, I would have never believed that it could turn into such a success, really not.” He pushes his hair back and ruffles through it so that it falls softly onto his shoulders. “To be honest, I wouldn’t mind living in my mum’s house with my sister and my stepfather. I loved it there, it was the homiest place ever,” Harry says as he’s pulling his lip. “Just like your house. I like it very much – I know you won’t believe me but it’s the truth. I would have nothing more than to live in a smaller house or in an apartment in another quarter, it’s not that. None of my friends live in a house like this, it’s only me – well, me and my bandmates.” Harry rubs his face. “And I will tell you why, do you want me to?”

Louis nods. “Go on.”

“It’s not because I want to show off or something. I know this is an expensive area and you know that most of the houses here are huge and posh and just for people who have a lot of money so . . . yeah. I didn’t want to live here since my friends live in other quarters but people told me it would be better and safer for me. You’ve probably seen the cameras outside and the walls . . . I mean, it’s just for security, nothing else. I lived in a more “normal” quarter during the first two years but girls would always be in front of our house, they even slept there and made noise at night.”

Louis shakes his head and lets out a fake laugh. “And I thought my sister was crazy.”

Harry gives Louis a mischievous smile. “Trust me, I’ve seen worse,” he chuckles. “My management and security team gave me the advice to look for a house in another area where such incidents wouldn’t happen because you know, after a while it also got dangerous for me because I couldn’t go outside without security.” Harry rubs his hands together. “Then my security team and I looked at different houses but I didn’t want a huge one, I just wanted something small, something more normal so that’s why I bought this place. It’s not too big and posh but it’s secure enough for me to live in.”

“Oh, I understand,” Louis says quietly. “Makes sense, to be honest. I never thought about the security aspect.”

“It’s normal, you don’t have to worry about it – which is great actually,” Harry smiles and shakes his shoulders. “When you compare my house to other houses that are surrounding us you’ll see that it’s pretty normal for this area.” The boy sighs. “Sometimes I wish I could be like you, like my friends from back home, like normal people when it comes to privacy. You can go out for a walk whenever you like, you can meet friends in town, you can just do whatever you want, you can party, you can drink, you could yell stupid stuff in the streets and nobody would care but I . . . I can’t do normal things as much as you can. I mean I can but . . . often it’s not that easy for me because of being me, you know.” Harry’s voice gets quiet in the end. “But that’s the life I chose,” he smiles. “Come on, let’s start making the pizza! Or do you want to cook something else?”

Louis is overwhelmed by Harry’s story. He has never made up his mind about people like him but now that he knows a little bit more about it, he feels guilty for judging him before. “Hm?” He was lost in thought.

Harry chuckles. He ruffles through Louis’ hair and smiles. “You’re cute. I asked if you would like to make pizza or cook something else,” he repeats.

“Oh sorry . . . it’s just a lot of information,” Louis answers. “I’d love to make the pizza if you don’t mind?”

“Great, let’s start then!” Harry says, rubs his hands.

“What toppings to you want?” Louis asks as he’s following him into the kitchen.

“Pineapple and tuna fish,” Harry says seriously but when he looks at Louis’ face, he starts laughing. “Oh god, you should have seen your face! I can’t!” he giggles as he pats Louis’ shoulder. “Stop looking at me like that!” he laughs. “Stop!”

“What?” Louis asks laughing, “I haven’t done anything!”

“Oh yes you have, you have!” Harry insists.

“Pfff!” Louis responds, rolling his eyes playfully.

Harry shakes his head and smirks while he opens the fridge. “Okay so . . . I thought you might like salami, ham and mushrooms as toppings? We could also add some onions?”

“Perfect.”

Harry hands Louis everything and Louis it on the kitchen counter. He pulls some mozzarella out of the fridge too before he closes it. “I also like to put arugula on top – but only when the pizza is ready.”

Louis pulls a face what makes Harry laugh. “Try it and you’ll see that it’s good,” Harry says and asks Louis to give him a huge bowl out of the cupboard next to him.

“I love doing everything on my own. I never use prepared dough from the supermarket,” Harry explains as he’s putting the ingredients as flour, olive oil, salt and dried onto the kitchen counter. He fills a measuring cup with lukewarm water and puts it next to the oil.

“You’re a pro,” Louis remarks as he’s watching Harry mixing the ingredients in a huge bowl.

“Thanks, but . . . I wouldn’t go that far. Have you ever made your own pizza dough?”

“I have but it was too sticky. I’m not a big fan of cooking and stuff, I prefer eating food rather than making it.”

Harry nods. “I see. Why doesn’t that surprise me?” he jokes, winking at Louis.

“Hey!” the boy says with humor and gently pinches Harry’s side.

Harry jumps aside but he can’t fight back because his hands are already sticky. “That’s not fair, stop it!”

Louis is about to pinch the taller boy again but this time Harry gets out of the way of Louis’ attack. “You’re terrible!” He watches Louis from the corner of his eye and his dimples are showing.

“I _can_ cook . . . a little bit at least,” Louis pouts. Harry just chuckles and continues mixing the dough. “Should I cut the mushrooms or something?”

Harry nods. “Of course, knives are over there.”

Harry and Louis continue to work in silence. Harry kneads the dough properly and covers it with a kitchen towel. While is sits for about half an hour, he starts cooking the tomato sauce. Louis cuts all the toppings into pieces and puts them aside.

“Wow, it smells heavenly, Harry,” Louis says.

“Thanks. Would you like to try the sauce? I’m not sure if something is missing.” Harry gives Louis the cooking spoon.

“Harry . . . that’s the best pizza sauce I’ve ever tried, seriously,” he says and Harry smiles. “Thank you, I’m happy you like it. So, nothing’s missing?”

“I don’t think so, it’s perfect.”

“Aright,” Harry nods. “Let’s set the table and then we can make the pizza,” Harry proposes and hands Louis the plates.

“Oh god! We have to wait another twenty minutes, I’m going to starve!” Louis groans.

“Be patient Lou,” Harry tells him as he’s putting two glasses onto the table.

“That’s one of my weak spots, actually. I’m the most impatient person on this planet.”

Harry smirks at him but stays silent.

“What?!”

His smirk is still there and the dimples show again. Ugh. “Nothing,” he says mischievously and suddenly something inside of Louis stirs. He can’t quite put a finger on this feeling so he tries to ignore it. Meanwhile Harry washes his hands. He takes the dough out of the bowl and starts dusting the kitchen counter with a little bit of flour before kneading it properly. They both put the tomato sauce and the toppings on the pizza. Harry pushes the pizza into the oven.

“Do you like wine?” Harry asks. “Red wine?”

“I’m not an expert but if you have a good one, I definitely try some.”

“My mum got me a really good one from Bordeaux and she told me to keep it for special occasions and today might be one so let me just get it.”

Louis sits down at the table. It’s surreal that he’s here, isn’t it?

“Here it is,” Harry says as he comes back, carrying two wine glasses and a huge bottle of wine. “Would you mind if I lit a vanilla candle?”

Louis shrugs. “I don’t mind, really. I don’t have vanilla candles at home.”

“Maybe you’ll like them. The scent of mine is very light and yet intense. You’ll smell it in a second.” Harry lights a big candle in front of them and opens the wine to pour it into their glasses.

“Thank you for being my guest, Louis,” Harry says and holds his glass up.

Louis nods. “Thank you for being so nice to me.” Harry is looking him in the eyes and Louis notices how bright and green they are. “I like the taste,” he says because he needs to distract himself, kind of. Harry’s stare is too intense.

“Me too. I’ve never tried that one,” Harry says before taking another sip. Then there’s silence. Louis sighs and looks around the room. Harry has lit the fireplace and the shadows of the fire draw random figures at the walls. It’s already dark outside and a few fairy lights complete the cozy atmosphere. It still seems unreal, all of this.

“So, Louis . . . what about the girl from the bar you’re working with?” Harry suddenly asks.

“Mayra?”

Harry nods. “Yeah.”

Why does Harry ask him about Mayra? “She’s still working there with me, why are you asking?”

Harry smiles. “Does she have a boyfriend?”

Louis doesn’t like this question but he tries to play the cool. He shrugs. “I don’t think so.” He takes a sip of his wine. “Are you interested in her?” This conversation is awkward, very awkward.

“No . . . I just thought you two looked very close and I was just wondering if . . . uhm . . . if there’s something going on between her and you.”

“Not really. I know her well because she’s a friend of my sister’s and she . . . she might have had a crush on me a year ago but when you were at the bar, we were basically fighting.”

Harry lets out a quiet laugh. “You’re always fighting with girls! Why this time?”

Louis sighs, raises his eyebrows and points at Harry.

“You’re kidding!” Harry half laughs and covers his face with his hand for a second.

“I don’t know what it is with all those women getting crazy over you. They absolutely lose their minds, feels like their brain isn’t functioning around you, I don’t know.”

Harry shrugs. “I try not to take it too seriously. I think it’s just because they know who I am, what my job is,” he says, taking another sip of his wine.

***

A few minutes later, the pizza is ready and the boys munch happily in silence first because they’re very hungry. It’s the best pizza Louis has ever had and he considers making one at home for his friends soon. It’s so much better than the frozen pizza he’s used to eating at home, so much better.

“So,” Harry says chewing, “What about girlfriends? Are you in a relationship?”

Louis shakes his head. “My girlfriend and I broke up a few months ago because we kind of estranged, I don’t know. She was jealous in the end which was tense because I do have a lot of female friends at uni and no matter how often I tried to explain that there was nothing going on with the others, she wouldn’t listen.”

“I understand,” Harry says thoughtfully.

“What about you?”

“My last relationship ended because of the group. It’s hard to have a partner while touring the world for months.” Harry takes another piece of pizza off the baking tray and takes a bite. “And yeah, jealousy was also a huge problem,” he says with his mouth full. “Sometimes I wish I wasn’t famous, that I wouldn’t have a label stuck on me that lets everyone think that what the press tells them is the truth.” Harry presses his lips together and pours a little bit more wine into his glass.

“You mean the womanizer thing?”

The boy nods. “See – even you know about it and you’re not even interested in the band or . . .uhm . . . me.”

“I just googled your name.”

“And obviously that’s enough.”

“Definitely. Have you ever googled yourself?”

“In the beginning, but soon I stopped because I couldn’t deal with the amount of lies, to be honest.” Harry pushes his plate away. “I’m full,” he remarks, patting his tummy.

“Full but happy,” Louis says and smiles.

Harry nods. “Exactly.”

“I can’t eat anymore. All I want to do now is lay down and sleep,” he laughs. “I always feel so tired after eating.”

“Same,” Harry says and starts cleaning the table.

After they put the dishes in the kitchen, the boys take their wine glasses and flop down on the sofa. It’s so comfy and soft that Louis nuzzles into the pillows immediately. Harry does the same opposite him and he looks at Louis with a small smile. Everything is so peaceful and calming around them and the only sound they can hear are the pieces of wood in the fire place that crackle silently.

“I love this place,” Louis says, rubbing his eyes. “I wish my sofa was this soft and comfy . . . I feel bad for Lottie that she has to sleep on ours which is nothing compared to this one but I bet I can’t afford it.”

Harry kicks Louis’ shin. “Stop talking shit over there! It’s from Ikea, you _can_ definitely afford it.”

“Ikea?” Louis asks and raises his eyebrows in disbelief. “As if you would buy your furniture there.”

“Not _everything,_ but the sofa is one of those things. The house came furnished for most parts but I didn’t like the sofa so I bought a new one.”

“Why?”

Harry frowns. “Because I liked it?”

“Hm.”

“What? Don’t you believe me? Do you want to see the receipt?”

“What if I wanted to?”

“I’d say you should definitely trust me a little bit more.” Harry smirks at Louis.

“I trust you enough. You slept in my bed last night, remember?”

“Touché.” Harry sits up and takes his wine glass from the table to have a sip. “What do you think of watching a thriller, maybe?”

And that’s when the boys agree on watching a movie both haven’t seen yet. According to Harry, the movie isn’t as scary as it should have been because Harry keeps commenting on everything. Usually Louis hates this habit but with Harry, he has the time of his life. Louis laughs so much that tears run down his cheeks and the best thing is that Harry sometimes doesn’t understand why Louis is laughing amuses him even more. He has never experienced anything that comes close to this, he just hasn’t.

After a while Louis gets very sleepy and his eyes close from time to time. He just can’t do anything about it, it happens automatically and Louis feels like he’ll fall asleep soon. Background noises don’t bother him at all, on the contrary.

***

“I will go to bed,” Harry says. Louis feels like he’s dead and he realizes that he has just slept and is about to wake up. “I’ve got a surprise for you,” the boy says as he’s walking out of the room. “Just watch.” Then he switches off the lights and Louis is alone in the dark room.

Suddenly, it feels like the room is spinning. Several screens are appearing around Louis while everything around him gets pitch black. A scary noise lets Louis shudder and then there’s a steady, loud hiss coming out of the speakers that are nearly everywhere. The noise is terrible but then the screens show some kind of celebrity news go on air. It all looks kind of weird and strange, not as Louis is used to. He can’t quite put his finger on it but he knows it’s _different_.

“The world-famous heartthrob and womanizer Harry Styles was caught making out with a random guy in a bathroom stall in one of Los Angeles’ best and most famous clubs. Minutes later our reporter got an interview with the guy’s girlfriend who was there with her boyfriend Louis Tomlinson to celebrate their anniversary.”

“What is this shit?” Louis mumbles. “I’ve never done that!”

The picture changes and Louis’ ex-girlfriend appears on the screen. She looks different, her hair is tousled, her face looks very pale as if she was about to puke. She has dark circles under her eyes. Louis stares at the screen with his mouth open. “After the incident we found Tomlinson’s girlfriend and asked her about her feelings. It’s not surprising she was upset.” Why the hell would they interview _her_ for this magazine?

“Ms. Winter, how do you feel about your boyfriend being obviously gay and having sex with Harry Styles in the bathroom, two doors away from you?” a reporter asks her, putting the microphone next to her mouth.

Her eyes narrow as they zoom into her face again. “You know what, he can go fuck himself. If he doesn’t like pussy, he better stay away from me and to be honest, I’ve cheated on him already more than he could ever imagine. Plus, Harry Styles is a sex god and now I’ll have a look if he’s still there because I want him to fuck my face until I cry.” Then the girl walks away and the camera zooms into the reporter’s face slowly.

“What the fuck?” Louis yells. Claire would have never talked like that, especially not in front of a camera. What is going on? She didn’t look like her but somehow Louis knows it’s her. And Louis isn’t gay and he has never had sex with Harry. What the fuck? And that’s on national television? What?! What will his family and friends say? Oh god.

“Obviously we have uncovered a huge sex scandal. Millions of girls will be devastated by this news. Being gay is still a taboo in our society – and if you want to know my opinion, I think it’s unnatural and disgusting. It should be forbidden, we should keep these nasty things away from our kids, from everyone.” The reporter’s fake smile has become fixed. Louis can’t believe all this.

“What are you talking about, you prick!” he shouts and gesticulates but of course, nothing happens. The room is still pitch black.

“I’m now standing in the bathroom where it all happened and here he is, Mr. Harry Styles,” the reporter says and the camera swings round to Harry. Harry at least looks like him, he’s glowing and his hair looks flawless. He smiles at the camera and winks. “Hey,” he says.

“You made out with Louis Tomlinson tonight and his girlfriend wants to be fucked by you too. We had no idea you were into guys too,” the reporter says.

The camera zooms into Harry’s face. His dimple is showing. “Yeah I mean . . . I know people want me, I know that every woman on this planet wants to have sex with me and to be honest, I would be stupid not to take advantage of them. I always make the most out of people because I can. I’m Harry Styles, you know,” he says with an arrogant tone and an evil grin. “What was the guy’s name? Louis?” he laughs. That’s not a normal laugh, it’s nothing but the laughter of a demon, dark, evil and loud.

Louis is shocked, he has his hands pressed in front of his mouth but he can’t look away from the screen.

“I told Louis how much he means to me before and he only got into this situation with me because I was nice to him and we had a good time – well, he thought we had a good time when I was actually pretending it. Louis is a loser. He lives in a small, shaggy house with other people because he can’t afford his own. His clothes look like they’re not worth one penny and his accent is hilarious.”

“No!” Louis yells. “What are you talking about?” He feels a lump in his throat building, he feels like someone is taking his air to breathe. Tears pool in his eyes, he feels so humiliated, so small, so unimportant, like some sort of pest that’s about to be crushed.

“But why-,” the reporter starts but Harry interrupts him. “He might be from humble backgrounds but have you seen his cock? His blowjobs are the best and if you could get this for free, wouldn’t you just take it?” There’s silence. “I can fuck everyone, you know? I can have everything I want because I’m Harry Styles and nobody can stop me. And I’m not gay, I just like to fuck both genders. It’s just sex. I love the taste of cum in my mouth, I love being fucked by men, I love eating pussy and I love eating ass. That doesn’t mean I’m gay but if this fact helps you spread the news, just go on,” he says with an evil smirk. Then he turns around and walks away but within seconds, he’s in front of the camera again. “Oh, and Louis . . . I would offer you 1 million pounds if you agreed to be my slave for a year.” Harry winks, walks away and flips the reporter off.

Then the screen gets dark and it’s silent for a second. Suddenly, Louis can hear the speakers hissing again. “Louis Tomlinson, you’re under arrest. Being gay is a crime, fucking men or being fucked by men needs to be punished. The police will enter the room in a few seconds so better run or you will never see your friends and family again,” a deep, robotic voice says. Louis’ heart is pounding so much that he can feel it in his neck. His hands are sweaty and his eyes are wide opened. “Now . . . run,” the voice adds.

Louis can’t see anything, where should he run to? In that moment, he can hear muffled noises that come closer and closer. A door is squeaking and the sound of heavy boots walking slowly fills the room. Louis wants to run but he can’t he can’t move. He’s scared to death and covers his face, trying not to make any sound.

“Louis Tomlinson,” a deep voice says, not sounding like human at all. “What you did was wrong, really wrong.” The steps come closer. “You think that we can’t see you but you’re wrong. Covering your eyes won’t help you, at all,” he smiles but it’s not a nice smile, it’s full of venom.

Louis tries to get up again but he can’t, he just can’t. The man laughs. It’s an incredibly evil laugh which pierces marrow and bone. “I’m not alone here, my brothers will help me to . . . well, how could I say . . . to heal you from your disease.”

Suddenly, Louis can feel someone touching his tummy. It’s disgusting. “I can see your face now,” he says and Louis freezes in fear. “You’re about to piss yourself, right?”

“Leave me alone! I don’t want this and I’ve never had sex with a guy!” Louis shouts, trying to move again but no. “It doesn’t work.” More hands start touching him everywhere and he feels like he’s going to puke. “Stop it, I haven’t done anything wrong!” he yells, trying to move his arms at least and . . . it works. Finally. But the other hands grip him and hold him down with force. “No! No! No! Leave me alone, don’t do this to me! Please don’t!” Louis screams but it feels like he has no voice anymore. “Stop it, I haven’t done anything wrong!” he repeats as he’s trying to free himself from the grip.

“Louis! Louis! Wake up!”

It seems like the voice comes from far away. It’s a different voice but he can still feel someone’s hands on his body. That’s why he tries to move his arms to free himself but the grip doesn’t go away.

“Everything is okay,” a soft voice says quietly.

It takes a while until Louis realizes that he’s not dreaming when he opens his eyes a little bit. The room is not pitch black anymore and he can see a face in front of his. God, he feels dizzy. But this is . . .

The picture is still blurry but Louis recognizes the face in front of him. “Harry?” he whispers quietly. Harry has his arm put on Louis’ chest and his other hand is fixing Louis’ arm. “What . . . what happened?”

Harry pulls away from Louis and sits up. “You fell asleep while we were watching the movie and I didn’t want to wake you,” Harry explains. “And then I heard you yelling. I found you tossing and turning here and thought I should wake you up.”

“Oh god,” he sighs.

“Was it a nightmare?”

Louis nods and covers his face. “It was terrible.”

“I’m sorry,” Harry says.

Louis yawns and stretches. “I’m so tired, I feel like I haven’t slept at all.”

“If you like you can sleep here but not on the sofa. I don’t want you to have another nightmare again,” Harry proposes.

“Oh thanks. I feel exhausted and awake at the same time.” Louis gets up and follows Harry into his bedroom.

“I hope you don’t mind sleeping in my bed. I haven’t changed the bed in the guestroom and my sister has slept in there for a week.”

“It’s okay. It wasn’t a problem at my house so it won’t be a problem here,” Louis answers and his dream comes to his mind again which makes him feel uneasy.

When they’re in Harry’s bedroom, Harry opens a drawer. “Here are some boxers and shirts, if you want to change for the night. Feel free to use whatever you like,” he says and gets into his bed. “If you want to use the bathroom, it’s the next door on the right.”

In the bathroom, Louis washes his face, brushes his teeth with a spare toothbrush and changes his clothes. When he walks into the bedroom, Harry is still awake. Louis slides under the blanket and nuzzles into it. The bed isn’t too soft but also not too hard, it’s perfect, like clouds. “This is definitely better than the sofa,” Louis smiles and faces Harry.

“I hope you will sleep better here,” Harry answers. They just look at each other in silence. “What did you dream about?”

Louis feels his cheeks flush. “You,” he admits.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Was I . . . mean to you?”

“Kind of. I was at a club with my ex-girlfriend and we . . . me and you, we had sex in a bathroom stall. She wasn’t pissed when the reporter told her, she . . . she told me that she had cheated on me several times. She wanted to go find you because she wanted you to fuck her. And you . . . you told me I was a loser on national television and . . .  that you could do anything you wanted because of your fame and basically but you were just using me. You admitted that you liked to fuck men and women, just because you could.”

Harry’s eyes get big, but he stays silent.

“Your voice wasn’t your real voice, it sounded deep and weird like a devil or a demon from a movie. They wanted to arrest me because they thought I was gay and because I had sex with you. They told me it was a crime and then I was in a pitch-black room on my own. I couldn’t see anything and there were people or I don’t know who or what they were and they wanted to punish me for all this.” Louis exhales audible. “It was so scary because I could just hear their heavy boots slamming on the floor, their voices were robotic and deep which was terrible and one of them held me down on the sofa. I couldn’t move at all while the others were coming closer . . .”

“Oh god,” Harry says quietly. “That’s terrible . . . I’m very sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Dreams are very interesting because they always carry some truth,” Harry says quietly. “Not everything seems real but it gives us hints about our wishes, dreams and fears or you process what has happened to you during the last few days.” His voice sounds so nice, so calming. “It’s all about the subconscious and it seems like maybe sexuality is a huge topic for you – negative or positive, you can’t quite tell, no matter if your dream was good or bad.”

“So, you want to tell me that this dream means that I want to have sex with you subconsciously?”

Harry smiles. “I don’t know? Maybe?” he says playfully.

Louis rolls his eyes.

“No, but seriously . . . it could mean that there’s more to your sexuality you haven’t discovered yet and the uncertainty is what you’re afraid of. You mentioned that the room was pitch black and there were some scary people in the room with you couldn’t see. So maybe that’s the fear or something. You could be afraid of people judging you or that something worse could happen,” Harry says.

Louis sighs. He thinks of how his view on Harry changed a little bit while he was looking at all those pictures and videos of him. That he thought how handsome he was and . . . he thinks of the night before. How it felt when Harry’s body was close to his, he liked the feeling, it was warm and nice and . . .

“Lou?”

“Hm?”

“What are you thinking about? Have I said something wrong?”

Louis shakes his head but looks away. Maybe Harry is right. Maybe there’s something he holds back, maybe deep inside of him. He has never thought about men sexually but he should admit to himself that he likes Harry in general and he likes how he looks and all. He closes his eyes for a bit and suddenly he feels Harry’s hand on him as he’s gently stroking a streak off his forehead. The little touch of Harry’s finger feels good, not awkward at all. Louis opens his eyes again to find Harry looking at him. He has his hand put under his cheek and smiles softly. “If you want to talk, I’ll listen,” he says.

Louis nods. “Do you think it’s normal to think that another guy is handsome or something like that?” he asks Harry.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Many people say that boys shouldn’t say that about other boys or men, that it was gay.”

“I hate these common rules that are absolutely rubbish. They are so unimportant and just label people in a negative way,” Harry sighs. “Why shouldn’t you think that someone’s attractive? It doesn’t matter if it’s a girl or a boy. We’re all people, aren’t we?”

“Have you ever thought a guy was handsome or something?” Louis asks.

“A lot of times, actually,” Harry answers with a small smile.

“And it doesn’t feel weird for you?”

“Not at all.”

Louis sighs. “So, you wouldn’t think it’s weird if I told you that I think you’re handsome?”

“You think that? Oh, thank you,” Harry says, his eyes looking up and down Louis’ face.

“I think that about you too. And you look cute when you’re asleep.” Louis blushes and looks away again. “And I like that you’re shy sometimes,” Harry adds what makes Louis smile.

“A guy has never called me handsome or cute before, that’s why.”

“Does it feel any different?”

“Kind of.”

“Does it feel wrong?”

Louis shakes his head. “No, it’s . . . really nice, actually.”

Harry gives him another smile and Louis pokes Harry’s dimple. “I wish I had a pair of those, they’re cute.”

Harry smiles. “Sleep well, Lou,” he says and closes his eyes.

 

 


	13. Sunday

In the morning, Louis finds himself lying close to Harry. His right arm is put on the boy’s waist loosely. He must have moved while he was sleeping because he can’t remember falling asleep like this. Harry’s body feels warm against Louis’ and to have him close is nice but it’s also kind of embarrassing so he pulls his arm away. But suddenly, Harry grabs Louis’ arm and puts it back on his waist without turning around. “Don’t,” he mumbles but doesn’t say anything else. Maybe he’s dreaming? Harry’s breathing is constant and it doesn’t take long until Louis falls asleep again, too.

***

When Louis wakes up again, he yawns, rubs his eyes and stretches. “Good morning,” Harry says quietly. His morning voice is so raspy which sounds . . . sexy. What the fuck. What is he thinking? How can a voice of a man be sexy? That’s so pathetic. The boy turns his head to the left to face Harry who’s looking at him with his soft, green eyes. A while ago Louis read an article that said green is a very rare color when it comes to eyes.

“Good morning,” Louis responds. “I slept so well here, better than ever before.”

Harry gives Louis a smile but stays quiet. He just looks at the boy and blinks which looks . . . adorable. Louis turns his head again so that he faces the ceiling which is exquisite, reminding him of a castle he has visited years ago in Germany. There are white stucco decorations on the ceiling and the huge chandelier in the middle looks amazing. Maybe Harry doesn’t remember that Louis was that close to him. Maybe he doesn’t remember that he pulled Louis’ arm back. Maybe it’s better if he doesn’t. What would he think of him?

“It’s nice having you around,” Harry says and stretches. “It’s funny but I do sleep better when you’re next to me.”

Louis looks at Harry for a second before he crosses his arms behind his head and turns his gaze toward the ceiling again. “You must be used to this,” he remarks without facing Harry.

“What?!” Harry props up on his side.

“Having people sleeping with you . . .  I mean, in your bed.”

 “Why are you saying that?”

Harry nearly sounds . . . hurt? Louis shrugs. Maybe he just wants to cover up how he really feels about Harry, how he _has started_ to feel more for Harry.

“I don’t know why I said it,” the boy responds flatly.

“I thought you were different,” Harry says in a low voice. “But obviously you’re judging me for things that aren’t true,” he mumbles, turning away from Louis. The boy pulls the cover up until it nearly covers his head and sighs.

Fuck. Louis didn’t want that. He just doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings towards Harry. He feels like something has changed, he feels that he likes him a little bit more than he should. But what if that’s just imagination? What if Harry doesn’t like him as much as he likes Harry? Of course, he pulled his hand back on his waist when Louis wanted to pull away but obviously Harry was asleep when he did that. But he doesn’t want Harry to be sad and suddenly he feels so guilty. It takes him several minutes to decide that he wants to have a try, he will and if it was the wrong thing . . . well . . . then he would be probably fucked. Harry could kick him out or end the friendship.

“Harry?” Louis asks quietly but Harry’s name comes out like a hoarse whisper. Harry doesn’t budge. Louis rubs his face and looks over to Harry who’s still not moving at all. His curly hair is spread all over the pillow.

After a while, Louis scoots closer to Harry and puts his arm around his waist carefully like he did before. He’s not touching Harry’s back but leans his forehead against Harry’s shoulder. “I didn’t want to hurt you,” he says quietly. “I’m sorry.”

At first Harry ignores Louis completely. Eventually he sighs as he pulls Louis’ arm closer to his chest what causes Louis to scoot closer to Harry automatically. His chest and tummy touch Harry’s back. Within seconds, his friends’ warmth spreads around Louis’ body which gives him a secure, comfortable feeling. To Louis’ surprise, Harry wraps his hand around Louis’ and holds it against his chest. “Never say that again,” Harry nearly whispers. “Please.” The tone of his voice and the way he says it make Louis feel terrible. Harry has been nothing but nice to him and Louis . . . has been an asshole most of the time.

He presses a soft kiss onto Harry’s back, not overthinking his action at all. “I won’t,” he replies quietly. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles. “I really didn’t want to hurt you.” Being so close to Harry is one of the best feelings he has ever had if he’s honest to himself and he has no idea why. Harry starts rubbing circles onto Louis’ back of the hand slowly. Louis feels so comfortable that he nearly falls asleep again.

After a while, he feels Harry stirring next to him. Louis’ eyes are closed but he can feel Harry’s eyes on him.

“You look cute when your eyes are closed,” the boy says with his low voice. “And your eyelashes are cute too.”

Louis opens his eyes a little bit and smiles. “Thank you,” he says and blushes. “Nobody has commented on my eyelashes before.”

“Well . . . I’m the first one then,” he answers with a cheeky smile.

The boys look at each other for a while. Louis doesn’t know what this is but he feels attached to Harry, he wants to hold him, to feel his warmth, he wants to feel him and . . . he kind of feels like he wants to kiss him. Fuck. He’s not gay, is he? And what about Harry?

“Lou . . . you should know that I haven’t had anyone staying overnight since . . . maybe one year ago,” Harry tells Louis and looks him in the eyes. “Of course, some friends stayed overnight and my family but . . . uhm . . . I mean . . . nobody else. I’m not the guy the media wants me to be. I’m not a womanizer, Louis.”

Harry’s voice is so soft and he looks so sleepy and cute that Louis feels the need to touch him. He caresses Harry’s cheek with his index finger and runs his hand through his hair gently. Louis has never done that to a guy but with Harry, it kind of feels good, not embarrassing at all. At least not as much as he thought it could be. The boy closes his eyes while Louis is touching him. “Do you believe me?” Harry asks quietly.

“I do,” Louis answers. “It was quite stupid of me to hurt you like this.”

“Don’t worry about it anymore,” Harry says and presses his lips together, then he smiles. “What do you think about having breakfast?”

Louis hadn’t been thinking about food at all but now that Harry mentions it, he can feel the empty feeling in his stomach. “I like the idea,” he says and pushes the covers away.

“I’d like to take a shower first. If you want, you can have a shower too in the bathroom upstairs. It’s for my guests but it’s clean and you can find fresh towels there too.”

Louis nods. “That’s good. Could I borrow some pants or boxers from you?”

Harry walks over to the chest of drawers and throws some of his Calvin Klein pants at Louis.

“Oh, I’m getting the high-end product today,” Louis chuckles as he’s holding the black pants up in the air. “Thank you, Mr. Styles.”

Harry raises his eyebrows playfully. “I’m just being nice to you. If you like I could also give you one of my oldest, most worn boxers but I wanted you to have _nice_ ones.”

Louis chuckles. “I bet they’re Spongebob or Patrick themed boxers.”

“Spongebob.”

“I figured.”

“Fuck off now or you won’t have breakfast this morning!” Harry laughs.

Louis rolls his eyes playfully. “Okay daddy, I’ll behave now.”

Harry’s face gets serious suddenly, but he keeps quiet as he turns around and walks out of the room.

***

After the shower Louis blow dries his hair and puts his clothes on again. Then he walks downstairs where Harry is already cooking sausages, eggs and beans. “Wow Harry, what is this?” he yells in surprise as he’s walking into the kitchen. The smell is wonderful and Louis’ stomach grumbles at the smell and the sight.

“This is for you,” Harry smiles. “I hope you like the food because if not . . . you will have to starve or go to McDonald’s and have breakfast there.”

“Ugh, breakfast at McDonald’s is gross,” Louis says with a disgusted face which makes Harry let out a small laugh. “I’d prefer your cooking here, it smells delicious!” Louis walks closer to Harry and tries to steal a sausage out of the pan but Harry slaps his hand away. “Behave.” Louis pouts playfully but obeys and Harry shakes his head, raising his eyebrows.

“Do you want me to set the table for us?” Louis asks.

“That would be nice. I think you remember where everything is.”

***

“Would you mind if I took a picture of the table before we start eating?” All the food looks wonderful and Louis is thinking about maybe posting it on Instagram because it looks so good.

“That shouldn’t be a problem. I have to go to the bathroom anyways,” Harry replies and walks out of the room.

Louis takes a few pictures of the table from above and from aside with the huge white windows in the background. He’s so hungry that his stomach has started making weird noises already. Thank god Harry comes back soon.

“Enjoy,” he says with a smile as he’s taking a seat. He pours some orange juice into his glass and takes a sip.

“Thank you very much for this, I mean . . . I haven’t had such a huge breakfast in months!” Louis says while he’s piling sausages, bacon, beans and tomatoes onto his plate. “I’m so fucking hungry.”

Harry smiles at him. “Take as much as you want.”

***

After breakfast, Louis and Harry clear the table and fill the dishwasher. They brush their teeth and flop down on the sofa again. Their bellies are full and Louis feels like he can’t move anymore. Obviously, Harry is feeling the same way.

Harry sits down next to Louis and they start talking about random things. The boy puts his head on Harry’s shoulder slightly. “I like being around you,” he admits. Why does it feel so good to be close to him? Louis can feel Harry smiling against the boy’s hair. He budges to put his arm around Louis’ waist and pulls him closer. Louis nuzzles closer to Harry’s chest and puts his hand on it, drawing lines across his white shirt.

“What are you doing?” Harry asks amused.

Louis pulls his hand away immediately. He shouldn’t have done that. He feels stupid, fucking stupid.

“Hey,” Harry says softly. “I just asked what you were doing, I didn’t ask you to stop.”

Louis lifts his head and sits down next to Harry with crossed legs while he’s picking his fingernails. He’s feeling too much for this boy already and he doesn’t know how to cope with this situation. He was never attracted to men, he has always had girlfriends and this situation scares him a lot. “I . . . I don’t know,” Louis says quietly. “I don’t know what’s happening.” He doesn’t look at Harry. He can’t.

“What do you mean?” Harry asks, mirroring Louis’ seating position.

Louis moves his hand forth and back between Harry and him. “This . . . I mean . . . us . . . whatever. I don’t know.”

“Do you feel weird about being here with me?”

“No, I don’t,” Louis admits, rubbing his eye. He leans his head against the back rest of the sofa and looks down. “I like being with you.”

“You know, I really like our friendship so far. It’s strange that I’ve only known you for a few days and we have already talked about so many different things. It’s fun to be around you and I . . . uhm . . . love that we have the same sense of humor,” Harry says as he takes his scrunchy off his wrist to pull his curly hair into a bun. “I feel really good around you,” Harry tells Louis. “It’s a good feeling.”

Louis nods. “Yeah.” He pauses first but then he looks at Harry and grins. Except the Spongebob boxers maybe. They will never be fun,” he half laughs.

“You’re quite sassy, Tomlinson?” Harry says, shaking his head in amusement.

“I am,” Louis nods with a smile. “But to be honest, I loved to watch Spongebob with my younger sisters but since we’re not living together anymore it got quite boring.”

Harry nods. “Yeah, I can understand that. It’s like when my sister and I used to eat bread with jam, Nutella, cinnamon cereals and salt crackers which sounds gross but we liked it. It’s things you do with a certain person but without her, it’s not that fun anymore.”

“Exactly. You know I,-“ Louis starts saying but gets interrupted by the ringing of his phone.

 


	14. The goodbye party

Louis is out of breath when he arrives at home. He had totally forgotten about the deal with Lottie and that’s why he bought her a box of cupcakes from the bakery down the street. “Sorry Lottie,” he says panting as he’s bursting into the living room where Lottie is cleaning the table. The boy hugs his sister and gives her a kiss on her cheek. “Here are some cupcakes for you as an excuse why I’m late,” Louis says, handing her the box. “I’m so out of it, seriously,” he smiles and shakes his head. “And if the cupcakes aren’t enough I promise that I’ll help you as much as you want me to make all necessary preparations for your goodbye party as compensation.”

“That’s nice,” Lottie says as she’s looking in the box. “Wow Louis! I love these cupcakes, they’re so good!” she smiles and gives her brother a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you. And it’s all good, I’m not mad. I was just wondering where you were but now that you’re here, it’s fine.”

She takes a cupcake out of the box and starts eating it, signaling Louis to take one too. After they’ve eaten, she finishes cleaning the table before they sit down and Lottie gives instructions to Louis. Thank god she doesn’t ask him any questions about where he was. The party is planned for tomorrow because Tuesday will be her last working day at the zoo. That’s why Lottie wanted to invite some of her colleagues and friends she has made during her stay in London.

Louis helps Lottie to tidy and clean the house, they decorate the ground floor with colorful balloons and garlands. After that the siblings start working in the kitchen. Lottie starts mixing dough for muffins while Louis makes another one for a marble cake. They work until late and Louis falls asleep on the sofa with Lottie eventually.

***

Louis wakes up in the middle of the night. His neck is aching and he decides to haul himself up to his room where he lets himself flop on the bed. Within seconds, he’s fast asleep again.

Because he oversleeps in the morning, Louis is totally stressed. He has uni until five in the afternoon. After he has finished his last lecture, he stops at the local supermarket to buy some food Lottie has forgotten to buy. When he returns home, his sister and Keira are piling finger food onto plates while his friend Stan is dressing the salad. The house looks cool and Louis is looking forward to the party. After everything is ready, he takes a quick shower and puts on some cool clothes.

***

When Lottie’s guests arrive, she introduces her colleagues and some other girls to her brother first. Eleanor has brought a friend who knows Lottie too. An hour later, the party is in full flood. Lottie’s colleagues are nice, they talk to Louis and everyone is having a good time. The music is playing, some people are dancing in the living room, some are outside, smoking, others are sitting on the floor or the sofa and talk to each other. It’s a very nice party. When everyone has arrived, they ask Stan to turn off the music for a while. One of her colleagues walks out of the room and comes back with a huge present. Lottie doesn’t know what to say. She thanks her colleagues while she’s opening the wrapping paper happily. When she sees it, she clasps her hand over her mouth and looks up. “Wow, this is so cool,” she says with tears in her eyes. She’s absolutely moved by this gesture. They have made a cute present for Lottie: a beautiful, golden frame with pictures of Lottie’s journey: some pictures show only the colleagues, some show Lottie with them, there are pictures of some animals and Lottie with animals. The girl is crying by now, hugging each of her colleagues and Louis is very happy for her.

Louis is leaning against the wall, his second beer in his hands. “Hey Louis,” someone says and suddenly touches his shoulders. It’s Keira’s friend Amber. Louis knows her from several parties and he has always been attracted to her, in some way. Today, she looks cute, really. She’s not very tall, has long, brown hair and huge dark eyes. Her make-up looks pretty, her outfit sporty and cool. Louis has always admired the tattoos on her right forearm.

“Hey!” Louis replies and takes a sip of his beer. “Do you like the party?”

“Yeah, it’s cool. The food is great and it was really nice of Lottie’s colleagues to give her such a cute present.”

“Very.”

“Do you want to smoke?” the girl asks, offering Louis a cigarette.

“Okay,” he responds. They walk out of the living room to sit down behind the small shed at the end of the yard. Amber and Louis start talking about their studies, parties and random things for a while until the girl sits close to Louis and puts her head on his shoulder.

“You’re growing a beard,” she remarks, tracing her index finger over Louis’ cheek. “Sexy.”

Louis turns his head and gives her a smile. He’s quite tipsy and yeah. The boy remembers the first time he met Amber, that he liked her straight away. Her eyes are dark, too dark and kind of mysterious. He takes another sip of his beer and puts his arm around the girl’s shoulders to pull her closer. Amber giggles into Louis’ neck as she lets her nose run up and down Louis’ skin. “You smell so good,” she whispers as she starts biting Louis’ neck softly. They have made out a few times before and it feels good. Louis’ neck is sensitive and Amber’s bites and kisses are a huge turn on. He leans his head back, closes his eyes and massages the girl’s neck a bit. “Fuck,” he whispers. The girl smiles against Louis’ neck, gets up and kneels down in front of the boy. The just stare at each other for a few seconds before Amber’s face comes closer and closer and she gives Louis a small kiss on his lips, parting his with her tongue slowly. Louis grabs her head and pulls her closer to deepen the kiss. The music that’s playing is slow, so slow that the kiss matches the rhythm of the song perfectly. It’s slow, it’s hot but suddenly . . . it feels wrong. Louis pushes Amber away, wipes his mouth and shakes his head.

“Hey . . . uhm . . . don’t.”

Amber looks at him with wide eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“I shouldn’t do this,” Louis says, stubbing out his cigarette. “Sorry.” He gets up from the ground, takes his beer and starts walking toward the house.

“Louis! Wait!” Amber yells and runs after him. “Why . . . I mean, didn’t you like it?”

Louis shakes his head. “It’s not that. I . . . I don’t want to talk about it now, to be honest.” He doesn’t even wait for the girl to respond as he grabs another beer from the fridge and walks up the stairs to his room. What is wrong with him? Maybe he’s just tipsy and tired, maybe his feelings are a mess or . . . or maybe it’s because . . . Harry came to his mind when she touched him. Fuck. Louis feels very stupid and childish as he’s lying on his bed with his eyes closed. The muffled noises from downstairs can be heard in his room and there are people talking in the garden. What is it about Harry?  Louis wants to spend time with him. Maybe Harry has sent him a message? The boy leans over and grabs his phone from his bedside table. There’s no message from Harry. Should Louis send him a message? He isn’t sure. He puts the phone on the bed and turns to the side. Louis scrolls through his photos and looks at a selfie they took when they were walking through the park. Harry’s so handsome with his perfect face, his green eyes and full lips. With the blue beanie, he looks so cool. Louis gets the feeling that he’s oddly attracted to this guy. What is this feeling in the pit of his stomach? He knows it from being with girls, touching girls being touched by girls but Harry? Why? The next picture Louis sees it the one he took of the breakfast table. When Louis thinks about it, he gets hungry again. This was the best breakfast he has had in a while, if not the best ever. Louis decides to post one of the pictures on Instagram with the title “That’s a huge breakfast for two : )” He doesn’t think about his words really, he just types them in and hits the send button.

The party is in full flood down there. Louis feels like he should go down again instead of thinking of a stupid fantasy that’s just real in his head probably. The thought of being close to Harry, his warmth, the way he touched Louis’ forehead gently when they woke up makes him feel nervous. He takes another sip from his beer. What the hell is he thinking? Harry is a global superstar, he probably has a girlfriend and all of this didn’t mean anything. Louis shakes his head and covers his face with the palms of his hands. He wants to get rid of his thoughts and he wants to get rid of this feeling in his stomach. He’s tipsy, he’s tired and all of this is pure imagination. Things like that happen to many people, he’s not the only one.

Louis sighs. He tries to relax again. He tries to take his mind off Harry and his stupid feelings. Maybe he should make out with Amber again to prove to himself that he’s just off his head. He needs a distraction and he needs weed. Louis sends Amber a message, then pulls a joint out of his drawer and lights it. The boy sits down next to his window and takes an intense drag. Louis leans his head against the wall, closes his eyes and lets the smoke exit his mouth slowly. He doesn’t smoke much weed, just from time to time in situations that are too much for him. It doesn’t take long until his door opens and Amber walks in. She sits down next to the boy who holds the joint out to her. They smoke in silence for a while, just exchanging looks.

“Are you normal again?” Amber suddenly asks amused, takes a drag and starts kissing Louis’ neck again.

“I guess so,” he says sassily, gripping the girl’s neck while he continues smoking. A few minutes later they are making out on Louis’ bed. Now that he’s high, it’s easier for him and he needs to prove to himself that he’s not attracted to boys or, Harry in particular. But neither the joint nor the girl helps really.

When Louis goes to bed, Harry still hasn’t messaged. But Louis doesn’t want to wait, he hates waiting so he texts Harry what he’s doing and what his plans for the week are. Then he falls asleep.


	15. At Harry's

The next day, Harry has messaged. He won’t be home except for Wednesday and Thursday because the band is still touring through Germany and France. They boys agree on meeting on Wednesday evening at Harry’s house. During the week, Louis and Harry are constantly texting and Harry even calls Louis twice to tell him about his day and what happened. Louis feels like he has known Harry for years and he’s always happy to hear his voice. It feels like their friendship has become stronger. Louis can’t wait to meet Harry again. He’s excited and nervous in a positive way. The last time he felt like this was the day before he got together with his girlfriend. He tries not to think about this fact when he walks into the small book shop next to his university. They sell postcards there too and Louis wants to buy one for Harry.

He chooses three cards that match. The first shows a cat that sits on a window sill, looking at the beautiful garden through the opened window. The card looks like a painting; the colors are pale, very beautiful. Louis has chosen a similar card that shows a little path that leads through a forest. The last card shows a typical English breakfast.

At home Louis sticks the cards together and writes a few lines on the back. He takes a shower and puts on black skinny jeans, a blue band shirt and his Amsterdam hoodie. It’s cold outside so he throws a warm jacket over his shoulders and leaves the house in anticipation. The closer he comes to Harry’s house, the more nervous he gets. Fuck.

On his way to Harry’s, the sky gets darker with every minute and it doesn’t take long until the first raindrops fall from the sky. Louis decides to run and reaches Harry’s house before it starts to rain heavily.

When Harry opens the door to his yard, Louis sneaks in and Harry closes the door again. They give each other a hug before they walk into the house.

“Cool that you’re finally here,” Harry says as he waits for Louis to take off his shoes. “How was your presentation today?”

Louis groans. “I’m so glad it’s over. I mean, we always have to do these presentations and you get nothing out of it. No mark, nothing. The topic was so boring, I was nervous for nothing but . . . yeah, it was okay I think. As I’ve already told you, we only need to do them to get our credit points for the course.” Louis follows Harry into the living room. “The professors are getting paid, right? What for?! To let us do all the work? Fuck them, seriously.”

Harry chuckles. “Some of my friends tell me the same things but it isn’t usual that everything has positive and negative sides, no matter if it’s work, going to uni, friendships, everything . . . I guess.”

“Probably . . . but still, it makes me angry. It’s so useless, a waste of time.”

“Adulthood, I suppose,” Harry answers.

Louis shrugs and lets out a sigh. “Thank god I’m here now so I don’t have to keep myself occupied with that shit.”

“Exactly,” Harry says. “Have you had dinner yet? Because I thought we could cook together tonight?”

“Our friendship only revolves around food.”

“Food is the basis for everything, isn’t it?” Harry responds.

Louis shrugs but smiles. “Yeah . . . I guess. So, what have you planned to cook?”

“It’s one of my favorite meals. Mum uses to cook it when I’m home so . . . I thought we could try that out? It’s chicken stuffed with mozzarella wrapped in parma ham with a side of homemade mash.”

“That’s quite a long name for a dish.” Louis raises his eyebrows.

“But it’s not as complicated as it seems, you’ll see. Do you want to do it?”

“Of course, I like trying out new things,” Louis says and pulls his sweater over his head go get rid of it. He straightens his shirt with his hands. “Ready!” he smiles and puts his hands in the air.

“Fine,” Harry smiles and pinches Louis’ tummy playfully. “Let’s go because I’m getting hungry. I’ve already started cooking the potatoes; they should be ready by now.”

They walk into the kitchen and Harry pokes the potatoes with a fork to check if they’re ready. “Perfect,” he says. “You can prepare the chicken while I’m mashing the potatoes.” Harry takes all ingredients out of the fridge and tells Louis how to do it. Cooking with Harry is as fun as last time and Louis has to admit that he starts liking cooking in general. Maybe it’s just because of Harry, but with him, it’s fun.

Half an hour later the boys sit at the table, munching the chicken. “Woa, this is so good,” Louis says with his mouth full. “I never knew that mash could be so delicious but yours is ace.”

“I’m happy that you like it. You did your part really well, I must say.”

Louis shakes his head. “Mine wasn’t cooking, really. Just stuffing and wrapping.”

“Still, you did well,” Harry smiles and cuts a small piece off his chicken. “It’s nice actually to not sit on plastic chairs in an impersonal hall but here with you, in my house on normal chairs. Being on tour sometimes sucks.”

“I could imagine it’s fun,” Louis says.

“Yeah . . . most of the time, it is fun. I love performing, I love being with the boys and the crew members but when it comes to eating, sleeping and free time, sometimes it’s boring so I really enjoy being here with you,” Harry explains. “Thanks for coming.”

Louis nods. “Cool. I like being here.” He clears his plate and shoves it away. “Oh god . . . I’m so full again, I don’t want to eat again anytime soon,” he half-laughs, rubbing his tummy.

“You say that now,” Harry smiles and clears his plate too. “I bet you will get hungry later again.”

Louis winks at Harry. “You could be totally right about that.” Harry just smiles at him, it’s this cute smile where his dimples are showing. Louis could stare at him forever, his face is perfect, his lips full and . . . What is he thinking? Again. Louis leans back in his chair, yawns and stretches. It happens to him every day after lunch or dinner – he gets incredibly tired.

“You know what, you’re my guest so you can just lie down on the sofa and I’ll clean the table,” Harry says.

“Are you sure?” Louis does feel a little bad for Harry. “I feel bad for being so lazy.”

Harry shakes his head. “You’re not lazy. You’re tired and you’re my guest. You already helped cook so get on that fucking sofa now and let me clean the table. Don’t worry. I’ll be with you in two minutes.”

Louis lays down on the sofa. He closes his eyes and listens to the sounds coming from the kitchen. He likes being with Harry and this house doesn’t feel as unfamiliar as it should. Outside, heavy raindrops are drumming against the huge windows and a slight rumble is being heard from afar. Louis is afraid of thunderstorms but he’s not alone so it’s okay. He likes the sound of the wind that’s blowing around the house, he loves the rustling of the trees but after all, he’s scared of lightning a lot. When he was a kid, a tree near his house was struck by lightning and since then, he can’t relax whenever he hears the deep rumble of thunder. But with Harry, it will be okay.

“Hey love, you definitely look very sleepy,” Harry says as he’s walking towards the sofa. Louis opens his eyes and watches Harry who’s sitting down next to him so that Louis’ thighs and lower tummy are touching Harry’s back. The curly haired boy leans in a little bit, puts his arm onto Louis’ side and caresses his cheek. “You’re actually really cute.” Oh. This gesture is so sweet and Louis likes it. He bends a little bit until his forehead touches Harry’s thigh and closes his eyes. Harry gently runs his fingers up and down Louis’ neck and massages it a little bit. “Do you want to take a nap in my bed?” Harry asks. Louis shakes his head. He’s enjoying Harry’s touch too much as that he could be in his bedroom, on his own.

Louis opens his eyes. “Can we just . . . stay here and watch another movie? The one you talked about last week?” he asks quietly. He feels so tired but he doesn’t want to sleep.

“The Grudge?” Harry asks. “Of course! Haven’t seen it in a while but you have to promise that you won’t fall asleep again,” he chuckles and gets up. “It’s the perfect time for watching movies. I guess the thunderstorm is coming closer.”

Before they sit down on the sofa, Harry puts some snacks and two glasses of red wine on the table. He takes a seat at the right end of the sofa and Harry flops down next to him, his legs crossed. “I always get scared by watching this one,” he says, shaking his head. “Which is pretty stupid because I’ve seen it already,” he chuckles. Then he shoves some crisps into his mouth and wipes his hands. “Take some, they’re delicious!” he says with his mouth full as he’s opening the beer.

Louis likes the movie and he loves Harry’s comments, which make it very enjoyable. After a while Louis wants to relax his arms but if he stretched them out a little bit, they would touch Harry’s thighs. He tries not to but after a while it hurts so the boy does it eventually. Harry doesn’t budge, he doesn’t seem to mind. When the movie is over, Harry switches of the TV. Only the fireplace and the fairy lights provide indirect lighting now which makes the atmosphere incredibly cozy and Louis feels very relaxed. He takes a sip of his wine and looks at Harry who’s meeting Louis’ glance.

It’s dark in the room and the thunderstorm has gotten stronger during the last hour. The wind is whistling around the house and the leaves of the trees while lightnings and heavy thunder take turns. The lightnings illuminate the surroundings which make Louis feel as if he’s in his own horror movie. But being here with Harry makes it easier for him.

“It’s a heavy one,” Harry says. “I love thunderstorms because they show the power of nature.” He takes another sip.

“I don’t like them, it’s like . . . what the fuck!” he yells when a lightning hits somewhere nearby which makes him start. “Fuck! See? It’s terrible and it scares the shit out of me!” Louis rubs his face and exhales audibly.

“Do you really mean it?” Harry asks disbelievingly and frowns.

Louis nods. “Look,” he says and shows Harry his hand which is actually shaking a little bit. “Thunderstorms are scary,” he admits.

“Hm . . . maybe this will help you,” he says slowly as he’s turning around a little bit. He doesn’t give Louis time to think. Harry throws a pillow at Louis who’s absolutely dumbfounded. Harry smirks cheekily and takes another pillow into his hands while Louis recovers, throwing a pillow at Harry.

“Are you making fun of me?” he yells as he’s grabbing two more. Louis gets up and throws one from afar but he misses Harry.

“You suck at throwing, Louis!” he says as he’s jumping behind the sofa.

“At least I’m not hiding like you, you coward!” Louis yells as he’s throwing another pillow Harry catches. Louis comes closer to Harry but when the boy fires back, he accidentally hits the lamp that’s standing next to the sofa.

“You throw like a baby, Harry!” Louis laughs and throws two pillows he was holding. Harry is laying on the floor, trying to defend himself but Louis is stronger. He kneels down next to Harry and tries to throw away all pillows so that Harry can’t reach them. The older boy has still one in his hand he holds as far away as possible so Louis can’t reach it. Louis straddles Harry and tries to get the pillow while Harry is squirming and giggling. “Give up!” Louis yells as Harry is trying to hit Louis with the soft pillow but Louis grabs it and turns Harry’s hand down forcefully. “I’ve won,” he smiles mischievously and looks at Harry.

Harry scans Louis’ face and looks him in the eyes. He lets his right hand trace over Louis’s cheek and cups it gently, his thumb caressing it slowly. There’s a special energy between them and Louis knows what will happen next. His heart is beating so loud that Harry can probably hear it and he feels so ashamed of it. Harry’s eyes are so piercing but at the same time so beautiful and soft that Louis lets Harry’s hand go and pulls him up so that he can lean against the backrest of the sofa. Louis feels stupid but he needs to touch Harry, he just needs to so he runs his fingers through Harry’s hair. “I . . . I think you’re . . . beautiful,” he says quietly and feels the heat crawling up his body. He was just thinking this, wasn’t he? It wasn’t his intention to say it aloud, what would Harry . . . but that’s when Harry comes closer to Louis and gives him a soft kiss on his mouth. He pulls back at first, looks into Louis’s eyes again but then it’s Louis who presses his lips against Harry’s gently at first. Harry kisses him back, he really does. He lets his tongue run over Louis’ lips what makes the boy open his mouth a little bit more and they deepen the kiss which is soft, gentle and makes Louis’ stomach tingle.

When Louis pulls back Harry looks at him and smiles. “Congratulations.”

Something inside of Louis stirs suddenly and he gets up. “I . . . I need to use the bathroom,” he says and walks away. “Fuck!” he says to himself as he’s hitting the wall with his fist. What was he thinking? Why did he do that? Why? He isn’t gay, he likes women, he’s attracted to women, not guys! But the feeling inside of him tells him something else, something different and this fact scares him so much that he feels like he has to vomit. What is this feeling in his tummy, why is everything so complicated? Louis slides down the tiled wall slowly until he reaches the floor where he pulls his legs close to his body, puts his head on his knees and buries his hands in his hair. The combination of fear and insecurity makes him desperate. He feels tears pooling in his eyes but as much as he tries not to cry, he can’t stop them from falling. Louis is angry at himself, he’s insecure and he feels like he just can’t step out of this bathroom again because he’s terribly ashamed of his actions and thoughts. The weather outside fits Louis’ mood as the rain is pouring down in streams.

Suddenly he hears a slight knock on the door. “Louis?” Harry asks. “Lou, are you okay?” He tries to open the door but Louis has locked it.

Louis doesn’t respond. He’s so embarrassed that he would like to disappear from the face of the earth. The last time he cried was when his granddad passed away three years ago.

“Louis please open the door,” Harry says again.

Louis presses his lips together. He doesn’t want to sound like he’s crying. “No . . . please . . . leave me alone,” he sobs. He just can’t hide his feelings and he’s sure Harry can hear it in his voice.

“Okay . . . if you want to talk . . . I will be waiting in the living room,” Harry says and Louis can hear him walking away.

Louis stays in the bathroom for a long time. He doesn’t know how to handle everything, he feels like he has never been this confused about his feelings. If he could, he would just sneak out of the house and never come back. He really considers running away but then he remembers that Harry has locked the door and there’s no possibility to climb the high wall that separates Harry’s site from the street. In the next second his thoughts seem so childish but how should he ever talk to Harry again? Louis wipes his eyes. At least he has stopped crying. Then he remembers that he hasn’t given his cards to Harry yet. Maybe it’s better that way. Louis gets up and decides to tell Harry that he wants to leave.

Louis feels terrible when he walks down the stairs. He can hear music playing in the living room quietly so Harry must be there. His heart is beating so fast that he can feel the beat in his neck. His hands start trembling and he feels like he has never been more nervous than in this moment.

He steps into the room and bows his head. “Harry . . . I . . . I want to . . . I want to leave,” he stutters and the last part comes out as a whisper.

Harry gets up from the sofa, walks over to Louis and pulls him into a hug. In that moment, the smaller boy breaks out in tears. Contrary to his plans, he wraps his arms around Harry’s waist and sobs into his chest. Harry doesn’t say anything. He holds Louis close and lets him cry into his chest until he calms down a little bit. Harry takes his hand and leads him to the sofa where they both sit down. Louis puts his elbows on his knees, leans forward and buries his face into the palms of his hands while Harry lets his hand run up and down his back.

“Hey, everything is fine,” he says quietly. “Everything is fine.”

His touch feels good, soothing and electric at the same time. Harry’s voice is warm and soft, it kind of gives Louis a little bit more courage to talk. He looks over to Harry and wipes his eyes. “Sorry I . . . I shouldn’t have done that,” he say and exhales audibly as he folds his hands. His heartbeat has increased so much.

“What?”

Louis looks at Harry and lets out a sigh. “Kissed you.” The boys stay quiet for a while until Harry starts speaking again.

“Didn’t you like it?” Harry’s voice is calm. Louis doesn’t respond. He doesn’t want to admit that he liked kissing Harry and the thought alone makes him feel sick in his stomach. He needs to get up and walk a few steps.

“Have I done something wrong?” Harry asks but still doesn’t get an answer. “Why have you been crying?”

“Oh for God’s sake Harry, can you just stop talking? It’s making me sick!” Louis yells and exhales loudly while he’s covering his face with his hands for a second. “I’m not gay Harry! I’m straight and look at me, I’m such a loser! I’m such a fucking loser!” His own words hurt him so much. “You haven’t done anything wrong, I have! I kissed you and now I can’t take it back!” Louis grabs his jumper from the sofa. “I want to go home.”

“Okay,” Harry says. His voice sounds sad and he seems hurt but he stays quiet. It’s a strange silence between them when Harry accompanies Louis to the door. When he tries to give Louis a hug, Louis takes one step back. “Don’t touch me,” he says quietly and walks out of the door without looking back. This is too much for him. He has to get Harry out of his mind and most important – out of his heart.

 


	16. Turn around and go back

**Harry’s POV**

Harry stands at his gate and watches Louis disappear in the dark. He doesn’t mind getting wet from the rain, his heart is crying anyways. Louis’ words hurt him so much, more than he could have imagined. He was looking forward to seeing Louis the whole week and he had the best time with him but now . . . everything could be over. He doesn’t feel like crying, he feels like screaming and yelling and breaking things. Thank god he lives on his own. Harry closes the door, leans against it and lets out a loud, manly scream so that his throat aches. Meanwhile he slams his fist against it. “Fuck!” he yells and lets out another scream. He loved his friendship with Louis and he loved being close to him. The kiss was so affectionate, Harry can’t remember to have been kissed that tenderly for months and he enjoyed it so much. He remembers the small touches between them, how good it felt to listen to Louis’ breathing, how much fun they had. When Louis told Harry that he wasn’t gay, it hurt him so much but when he kissed him, he thought that he might have changed his mind. People don’t need to be gay to fall in love with the other sex? Harry thought Louis could maybe like him as much as he did but obviously, that’s not true.

Just as he wants to walk away, he notices a small jute bag that’s leaning against the wall. Is that Louis’? Harry takes a look. But what is this? Isn’t his name written on that envelope? Harry pulls it out of the bag and sits down on the sofa. What could this be? Harry gets nervous as he’s about to open the envelope. There are three beautiful cards stuck together and Harry loves them right away. They’re so aesthetically pleasing that Harry clutches them to his chest. This is so beautiful but the picture of the English breakfast makes his heart ache again. But there’s something written on the back . . . Harry turns the postcards around.

_“Hi Harry. When I met you for the first time I thought you were just an untalented, conceited guy who treated people like shit because of your fame and because you were in a boyband. I judged you without knowing who you really are. To be honest, I didn’t like you at all. When you lied to me, I was pissed. When you told me that your bodyguard had stalked me, I got so fucking angry, so fucking angry at you._

_Now I’m thankful this happened because it brought us together in the end. I remember what I said to you the day I was in your hotel room and I want to tell you again that I’m sorry. I wish I could tell you “I didn’t mean it” but I did. I meant every word. God Harry, I was so pissed._

_But things have changed. I’ve enjoyed every minute with you. I would have never thought that I liked cooking. I would have never thought that just being in a room with someone could make me so happy. I’m happy with you, I feel good around you and I like you very much. Maybe more than I should. Thank you for everything, thank you for being a friend. – Louis. PS.: I hope you like the postcards.”_

**Louis’ POV**

Louis walks faster down the street because the rain is getting stronger again. He’s so confused, so unhappy and unsure that he can’t stop crying. His heart doesn’t want to run away but his mind does. He can’t let this be his reality, he isn’t gay. He isn’t gay. He just isn’t.  Suddenly, his phone rings. Harry. No, Louis can’t talk to him, he wants to but he can’t. If he heard his voice, he would probably collapse right here in the street. Harry tries it again but Louis ignores him.

When he has almost reached home, he gets a message. Harry again. Louis’ hands tremble when he opens it. Reading should hurt less and he battles with himself if he should look at it or not. Louis sits down at a bus stop. His heart is beating so fast, his hands are shaking and he feels so helpless. The boy bites his lip, turns the phone in his hands, rubs his face and exhales loudly. He feels incredibly nervous and he’s also a little bit afraid of what Harry has sent him. After a few more minutes, Louis opens the chat eventually.

“ _I’m happy with you, I feel good around you and I like you very much. Maybe more than I should.”_ Oh god. He found his postcards, Louis had completely forgotten about them. _“Please come back, please.”_

***

Louis’ heartbeat increases as he hears the key turning in the lock of Harry’s entrance door. They boys don’t talk at first; they only hurry inside because it’s still raining. When Harry has closed the door, he looks at Louis as if he wanted to say something but then he pulls the smaller boy into a hug. Louis wraps his hands around him too. “I’m so glad that you came back,” Harry whispers into Louis hair, still holding him close. Louis doesn’t respond but wraps his arms tighter around Harry’s waist and sighs.

“Would you like to have a hot shower first?” Harry asks Louis when he pulls away. “I’ll give you dry clothes and then we can talk, if you like.”

***

It feels good to get out of the damp clothes. The shower feels good and Louis tries to relax a little bit. Harry asked him to come back even though he reacted like he did. It was him so there’s no need to be nervous, right? The boy dries himself with a fluffy towel and puts on Harry’s clothes. They are a little bit too wide but that doesn’t matter. Louis feels kind of special that Harry lets him wear his clothes and they’re clean and dry. The boy thinks about his ex-girlfriends who sometimes asked him to wear his shirts or jumpers when they were together and Louis’ never really understood why they would ask him but obviously that was a normal thing because his friends told him the same about their girlfriends. Now that Louis is wearing Harry’s clothes again, he gets a feeling for what that must feel like.

Louis hangs his wet clothes on the clothes horse in the bathroom and walks downstairs where Harry is waiting for him on the sofa. “Hey,” Louis says as he’s walking into the room and flops down next to Harry. “You look cute in my clothes,” he smirks.

Louis gives him a smile and holds up his hands for a second so that the sleeves fall down his arms a little bit. “A little bit too wide, I suppose.”

Harry chuckles. “I hope you’re not mad at me for looking in your bag. I saw it and I didn’t know what it was so I . . . uhm . . . had a look.” He pauses, looking at the cards on the table. “They’re is so beautiful, I love those pictures and what you wrote was . . . was so lovely. Thank you very much for it,” Harry says and rubs Louis’ arm gently.

Louis looks at him, presses his lips together and nods. “It’s okay, I . . . I just forgot about it because I was too occupied being a coward.” He lowers his head. “And an asshole.” The boy picks at his fingernails.

Harry scoots closer to the boy and lets his hand run up and down his back. “Hey. Lou, don’t say that about yourself.”

Louis looks up and into Harry’s green eyes. Why does he never get angry? How? “But it’s true,” he mumbles. The boy leans back and sighs as he’s rubbing his face.

Harry puts his head against Louis’ chest and nuzzles close to him. “You’re just insecure, there’s a difference,” Harry says quietly and Louis knows he’s right. The boy sighs again as he pulls out his arm to put it around Harry’s waist. They stay like this for a while and listen to the rain that’s still drumming against the windows. “I like spending time with you,” Louis suddenly admits.

Harry gets up from Louis’ chest and looks him in the eyes. “So do I and I would have never thought-,” Harry says but gets interrupted by Louis who leans forward and starts kissing him again. Harry’s mouth feels so good on his, their kiss is so slow and beautiful that Louis feels that he’s already addicted. The boy has kissed a lot of girls but this is just a completely new thing for him. Harry’s lips are so soft and gentle, too much for Louis to handle. He pulls back, looks into Harry’s eyes and cups his chin with his hand.

“Please don’t run away from me again,” Harry says quietly as he looks in Louis’ eyes.

“I won’t,” the boy replies and leans in for another kiss.

A few minutes later, the boys are nuzzled close together on the sofa. Louis has his back leaned against Harry’s chest and Harry is gently massaging Louis’ head. “This feels so good Harry,” he moans quietly. “If I could wish for something to last forever – this would be it.”

Harry chuckles and kisses Louis’ hair twice. “You can have it whenever you want, love.”

Louis takes Harry’s hands in his and puts them on his chest where he holds them tight. He turns his head a little bit so that he can look Harry in the eyes. “You are so nice to me and I was such an asshole. I still feel guilty for everything mean I’ve ever said to you,” he admits quietly. He feels really bad, Harry is such a lovely person that it hurts.

Harry gives Louis a kiss on his forehead. “Please don’t think about it anymore, okay? Everything is all right now.” He nudges the boy’s nose with his then gives him a gentle kiss on the mouth.  “I’m happy when I’m with you, Lou.” Louis smiles and kisses Harry’s soft skin on his neck and nuzzles back to his chest while Harry wraps his arms tighter around him.

“That was cute,” Harry says quietly into Louis’ hair. “But if you do it again, I think I will have to do more to you than just be cute.” He chuckles and Louis smacks Harry’s chest playfully. “So better behave.”

Louis sighs playfully. “Okay daddy, whatever you say.”

Harry comes close to Louis’ ear. “Better never call me that again or I will have to pin you against the wall or . . . somewhere else.” His breath feels hot against Louis’ ear and the boy can feel heat pooling in the pit of his stomach. Fuck.

“Harry!” Louis moans and covers his eyes with his hand.

“Yeah?” Harry asks as if he wouldn’t know what the matter was. “What happened?” he asks mischievously, raising his eyebrows playfully. Louis gets up from Harry’s chest and looks at him surprised, frowning, with his mouth open. Harry let’s out a laugh. “Stop laughing at me!” Louis shouts and throws some Cheetos at Harry.

“Hey!” the boy laughs. “Stop throwing stuff at me!” he grabs some that have fallen on his tummy and eats them. “You always throw stuff at me!”

“Because you deserve it!” Louis laughs and shoves some of the Cheetos into his mouth. He loves when Harry pretends to be angry but he won’t tell him, hell no. Harry throws a few Cheetos back at Louis and Louis catches two with his mouth.

“You have quite good talents, my friend,” Harry laughs as he gets up to clean his jumper.

“And many hidden you don’t know about yet,” he says sassily, wiggling his eyebrows.

Harry walks over to him, tilts his head up and gives him a quick, sloppy kiss. “I bet I will find out soon,” he smirks and walks away. “I’ll order some pizza,” he yells from the kitchen as he rummages through some drawers. After a few seconds he comes back and hands Louis a colorful leaflet. “Order what you like, I trust you. I need to go to the bathroom,” he says and walks away again.

***

“Fuck this was good,” Louis says as he leans back on the chair, patting his tummy. “I feel like I gained weight within twenty minutes,” he sighs and exhales.

“Same,” Harry laughs. “Now I just want to sleep, seriously.”

“I’m already half asleep, to be honest. I feel like I’ll fall on the floor if I get up,” Louis says and burps. “Fuck. Sorry,” he says as he’s covering his mouth.

Harry laughs out loudly. “Let it out, let it out,” he says and smirks at Louis. “Means you feel at home, I suppose.”

“Kind of, yeah,” Louis responds. “You know I-,” he starts talking but the ringing of Harry’s phone interrupts the chat.

Louis can’t hear what the person at the other end is saying but the voice sounds kind of angry. Harry’s facial features change and Louis can feel that the call doesn’t promise something good. He gets up and walks out of the room to finish the call. Louis can hear him talking but he only catches snippets from the conversation which lasts half an eternity.

“Fuck!” Harry yells as he’s walking back into the room. “This is the reason I hate my job sometimes, this is it, exactly this!” he yells and throws his phone onto the table. His face is red, his voice angry. “As if they give a fuck about me! They never have and they never will!”

“What happened?” Louis asks quietly. Harry’s voice is scary, really fucking scary.

“I have a meeting tomorrow at eight in the morning because they think they need to discuss my contract with me again because of whatever they think I did wrong or whatever doesn’t fit into their fucked up brains!” Harry sits down on his chair again.

“Why?” Louis doesn’t know what Harry is talking about but he seems to be very upset.

The boy sighs. “Have you got Instagram on your phone?”

Louis nods.

“Have you posted a picture recently?”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Louis’ feels his cheeks burning. He knows he has done something wrong.

“I . . . I . . . yeah I have but . . . just one and-,” he stutters. His face must be as red as a tomato and his heartbeat increases from second to second.

“Open it,” Harry says as he leans forward on the table on his elbows, hiding his face behind his palms.

“What the fuck?!” Louis yells out shocked. “What . . . what is happening?” His hands are shaking by now and the adrenalin in his body won’t keep rushing.

“How many likes?” Harry asks annoyed.

Louis gulps. “Nearly twenty thousand,” he almost whispers, still not believing what is happening. He has posted that picture yesterday but . . .

“And how many comments?” Harry’s voice is monotone, bored, whatever, unpleasant.

“More than six thousand . . . Harry I . . . I didn’t know . . . I-,” he stutters but Harry interrupts him.

“Therefore,” Harry says quietly and exhales. “Open your browser and type in my name,” he orders and Louis obeys. “Read out the first lines to me.”

_“Harry Styles – the world’s most wanted heartthrob snogs with unknown twink before having breakfast.”_

_“Harry Styles – gay? Find out why millions of teenage hearts will probably break because the popstar could totally be in a secret relationship with a random guy”_

_“Who is Harry’s breakfast date on Instagram?”_

_“Kendall and Taylor Swift on Harry’s rumored sexuality”_

Louis feels the blood draining from his face but at the same time his cheeks feel hot and he feels like he needs to vomit. This is awful. “I . . . I had no idea Harry . . . I mean, I . . . oh god . . . I will delete it, just a sec.”

“What the fuck no Louis, no don’t you dare and delete it! Don’t! If you delete it, it will be more obvious and people won’t stop talking!” he says loudly and gesticulates. “Plus, I think it’s already all over every social network. . . even if you deleted it, it wouldn’t help.” Harry gets up and fills a glass with water he gulps down within seconds. He sits down again and buries his hands into his dense curls. “Louis, I . . . I have a headache, I really need to sleep,” he says quietly, rubbing his face a few times.

“Then I’ll leave now,” Louis responds as he gets up from his chair. Harry doesn’t seem in the mood for a hug or anything and now the room feels weird. Shouldn’t he kiss him goodbye? No, he won’t.

“Sorry,” Louis whispers.

“Bye,” Harry just responds without looking up. “Don’t answer any comments and try to deny that this is your picture,” he adds.

Louis looks at him for a few seconds but he doesn’t look up. That’s when he decides to go. Harry doesn’t want to talk and Louis won’t push him. If he’s lucky enough, Harry will message him again.


	17. On tour

 

Because Louis falls asleep early in the morning, he doesn’t get up before lunch time. He stays in bed for a while, answers some messages on Whattsapp, scrolls through his Facebook and listens to music. He spends the rest of the day at home eating, playing on his Playstation and watching movies with his flat mates in the evening. He doesn’t dare to have a look at his Instagram because he’s still in shock about what happened yesterday. Not to speak of the online news which are terrible. As far as he knows only a few of his female friends like One Direction and only a few are interested in gossip so he really hopes nobody will notice his picture on Instagram or the online headlines. Keira and Stan belong to those people who definitely aren’t interested in gossip at all and they don’t have an Instagram account – or maybe they have but Louis doesn’t know about it.

Of course, Lottie messaged him early in the morning. She had sent him at least twenty messages about the picture on Instagram and the headlines throughout the day but Louis wasn’t in the mood to answer them until now. He knows that he can’t ignore her. Harry was in Louis’ house, she saw him and she knows that Louis and Harry know each other. Lottie isn’t dumb, so Louis tries to answer her questions as general as possible. He tells her that he found that picture online, that he just assumed it could be breakfast for two and that he hasn’t interacted or seen Harry since the day he was at his house. Thank god she believes his white lies. Lottie knows that Louis has had girlfriends before so she doesn’t question him being gay at all. Louis wonders why she hasn’t tried to convince him to meet Harry again.

While he’s messaging with his sister, Louis suddenly gets a call from Harry.

_Louis: “Harry?”_

_Harry: “Hey Lou, are you busy this weekend?”_

_Louis: “I haven’t planned anything special, just a few studies and football matches to watch.”_

_Harry: “I . . . uhm . . . I thought of . . . what do you think about joining me on tour for the weekend?”_

_Louis: “Oh . . . is that possible? I mean . . . you know . . . the picture and the gossip and everything.”_

_Harry: “Louis! I don’t care about that! I would like to spend time with you and being on tour sometimes is . . . lonely, especially in the evenings so . . . I’d love to have you there.”_ He chuckles. _“We can cook here too, make pizza or order something, as usual.”_

_Louis: “Sounds good but where are you now?”_

_Harry: “I’m on my way to Berlin. We have a show there tomorrow then one in Munich and on Monday we’ll be in France. I thought you could maybe join me here tomorrow morning or something and fly back to London on Sunday?”_

_Louis: “Hm . . . I would love to but I think that . . . I can’t afford it.”_

_Harry: “Don’t worry. We are allowed to fly in family and friends sometimes and therefore I have a certain amount of money available from my management. You just have to say yes or no.”_

***

Louis’ flight arrives in Berlin in the afternoon. Harry had interviews in the morning and some other things to do so he booked a later flight for him. Paul, the security guard, picks Louis up at the airport and they have a nice conversation about football and the recent news. When Paul drops Louis off at Harry’s hotel room (through the back doors again), Louis thanks him and flops down on the sofa. This hotel is very modern but still luxurious. It’s not as intimidating as the other one in London. From the windows, Louis can see the river that flows by. He pulls a warm jumper over his head, takes a beer from the fridge and sits down on a screaming yellow deck chair. He can see the other side of the river where people are taking a walk, business people heading back home, tourist ships drive past him and it feels like he’s on holiday. Louis has never been to Germany and he can’t wait to explore the city with Harry.

“Hey Lou,” Harry says suddenly as he’s stepping out on the balcony, massaging Louis’ shoulders and presses a kiss on his temple. “Seems like you’re having a good time?” he smiles.

“Harry!” Louis says surprised and gets up to give Harry a hug. “I’m so glad that you’re here! How was work?” he asks.

“Exhausting, to be honest,” Harry says and goes inside to grab a beer too. “I had to get up at seven today, then we had individual training in the gym, after that we went to singing classes with the vocal coach. At noon we did our first interview, the second one about an hour later, we did some fan service too and when we finally went for lunch, there were fans in and outside of the restaurant. Which means I didn’t have one single minute to catch my breath today.” The boy takes a sip of his beer. “We have to leave in about one hour for the sound check and the show starts at seven.” Harry sighs and rubs his face.

“That sounds stressful,” Louis remarks.

“Very. It will be the same almost every day. I can rarely ever go sightseeing or anything because I’m too tired. Plus, it’s difficult to go somewhere without being recognized when we’re on tour, so it’s nearly impossible.”

“So, we won’t be able to go sightseeing together?” Louis asks.

Harry sighs and shrugs. “My first appointment tomorrow is at three in the afternoon, we could try it in the morning if you like.”

“That would be cool, I’ve never been to Berlin.”

“I have, so I could be your city guide,” Harry smiles. “I think I remember some stuff but we can just walk around and explore, depends on what you want to see.”

Louis agrees and empties his beer before the boys go inside. They flop down on the bed and turn their bodies toward each other. Harry looks so beautiful today. “I missed you,” he says quietly while he’s looking at Louis. He bites his lip while his eyes wander over Louis’ face.

Louis caresses Harry’s cheek and gets up to hover over him. “I missed you too,” he responds and leans in for a kiss. Gosh, he loves these kisses between them; slow, sensual and extremely appealing. The first time they kissed, Louis hadn’t noticed it but now. . . wow. Louis teases Harry by pulling back from time to time so that Harry has to chase him and he loves it. Harry lets his hands run down Louis back slowly. Louis smirks at Harry and runs his fingers through his hair before he leans in again, kisses him and bites his lip. Just in that moment Harry lets his hands slide into Louis’ jeans and squeezes his bum.

“What are you doing, love?” Louis asks but Harry just smirks at him. “I’ve always wanted to touch your bum and I thought I would have to wait forever,” he says quietly as he’s squeezing it again.

“You don’t say,” Louis replies and leans in for another kiss again and Harry pulls his hands out of Louis jeans again.

“I’m so happy that you agreed to come here,” Harry says. “I thought you would be pissed after yesterday,” he says quietly.

Louis lies down next to Harry again. “I’m glad you invited me to come here. I thought you hated me, to be honest because you were so angry.”

Harry takes Louis’ hand in his and kisses his knuckles. “The situation was annoying,” he explains. “I’m sorry that you thought I was pissed at you.”

“You have the right to be pissed at me, Harry. I made a mistake.”

“Louis! You did what everyone does and hey – that’s proof that I can’t be a normal person most of the time. You just posted a picture on Instagram, millions of people do this.” Harry scoots closer to Louis. “Turn around,” he says quietly and Louis nuzzles close to Harry automatically. Harry holds his right arm up so that Louis can be closer to him and puts his other arm around the boy’s torso and holds him tight. He gives Louis a small kiss on his hair.

Louis sighs and closes his eyes to enjoy the warmth that’s spreading in his body. This is the best feeling he has had in months. They just lay there and both boys nearly fall asleep.

Suddenly there’s a loud knock on the door. “Harry, Harry we have to leave in ten minutes!” The knocking continues.

Harry moves slightly and groans. “I don’t want to get up,” he sighs and kisses Louis’ neck. “I want to stay here . . . with you.”

“Harry, open the door!” the male voice says louder.

“Jeez, wait! I took a nap!” Harry rolls off the bed, pushes his hair back and walks to the door. This move is sexy as fuck. Louis sighs, turns on his back and folds his hands behind his back. As he’s looking out of the window, he can’t believe that he’s here in this room in Berlin with Harry. This is so strange.

“Where are you? We are waiting for you!” a male voice says angrily.

“I still have ten minutes, you really need to chill man!”

“Hurry up, we won’t wait forever,” the voice responds and the guy seems to walk away.

Harry slams the door and walks back to Louis. “Okay so you can come with me but when someone asks you about the picture, tell them it’s not yours. If someone recognizes you from your Instagram pictures, talk to them but we’re only friends and don’t talk about my house or anything we did. We met at the supermarket,” Harry instructs while he’s gathering his stuff together. “You don’t need to answer everything.”

Louis just looks at him dumbfounded. Harry gives him a quick kiss on his cheek and ruffles through his hair. “Don’t look at me like that. The boys and the closest people in my team know that you’ll be with us, they won’t ask stupid questions. But you never know who will be around so just be careful.”

The boy only nods and grabs his bag and phone. Harry brushes his teeth again and then they leave the room. “I feel so dumb around you,” Louis says as they’re walking toward the elevator. “I feel like I don’t belong here.”

The door opens and the boys step in. When the door has closed, Harry gives Louis a kiss on his temple. “You do belong here because I love you.”

What?

“Oh, and don’t forget: for the others, we’re only friends. No hugging, no kissing and stuff, I don’t want to explain myself and get more headlines tomorrow. It’s not because I don’t want to, it’s just easier for both of us,” he explains and shrugs. “Sorry.”

“A lot of rules,” Louis says. “I don’t know if I can keep them all.”

Harry smiles at him. “Don’t worry. I’m just telling you, I’ll be there to save you if necessary but to be honest, you haven’t even heard half of them.”

Louis lets out a sigh. “Oh god, that’s terrible.” In that moment the elevator door opens and the Louis follows Harry through a narrow corridor until they reach a back door. How many back doors do hotels have?

***

It’s so weird for Louis to be in a car with Harry and the other boys. But thank god they don’t ask him stupid questions, they just involve him in their conversations as if he had always been around them. When they come closer to the venue, Louis notices girls sitting everywhere. Some of them start screaming when the car drives by and others try to run after the black van. It’s crazy and Louis remembers when he was waiting in front of the venue in Manchester. The driver goes through the gate which is being closed right after they’re in.

“Should we go to the gate and write some autographs?” the blonde guy, Niall, asks but the security guy shakes his head.

“No, that’s too dangerous. Plus, you have your sound check now,” he answers and Niall doesn’t argue.

Louis follows the boys backstage to their dressing room. There he meets Paul again and they start talking about random things while the band is on their way to their sound check.  It’s cool backstage because most of the people are very funny, they don’t ask stupid questions and Louis plays five rounds of table tennis with Paul and Matt, also a security guy and John, one of the sound and lightning engineers.

“Good to see you’re occupied,” Harry laughs and watches them play for a while. Then he leaves to get ready for the show.

Paul and Matt show Louis where he can sit and watch the show from the VIP area which is cool. You can drink and eat as much as you want because there’s a whole buffet in the room. The view is fantastic and to be honest, Louis looks forward to the show. The atmosphere at the stadium is amazing. There will be about 70,000 people at the venue this evening and it seems like most of them are already there.

Before the show starts, Louis needs to go to the bathroom where he runs into Harry. “Careful, love,” he says softly, touches his chin and gives him a soft kiss.

“People could see us,” Louis whispers.

“They would only be jealous,” Harry smirks. “I know when it’s safe, don’t worry. Seems like you feel comfortable with us?” he asks.

“Yeah it’s cool actually. I was afraid that people would think I’m weird but I’ve had fun so far!”

“Great. The show starts in five minutes so hurry up and get your seats and have fun!” Harry says. “I will pick you up from there and then we’ll go home.” And then he’s gone. Louis smiles happily as he opens the door to the bathroom.

***

After the show, the driver drives them back to the hotel where Harry takes a shower and Louis changes into his comfy clothes. Harry blow dries his hair and steps out of the bathroom with some black pants and Louis stops breathing for a second or more. He has seen Harry’s torso but he was tired back then but this sight is more than he could have ever wished for. He has never seen a guy as fit and beautiful as Harry. His body is well defined, not too muscly, his tattoos look so good on him and the way he pushes his hair back while he’s walking towards Louis makes him want to throw himself at this boy and never leave again. He is so fucking sexy that it takes his breath away, literally. These thick thighs, his tummy, everything is just wow. Fuck. Louis’ body looks shit compared to him and the thought of his fat tummy makes him feel sick.

“I feel renewed,” Harry smiles and pulls some sweaters out of his suitcase. Then he lays down next to Louis, putting his head on his thighs. He looks so beautiful. The curve of his lips and his little dimples that show every time he smiles the emerald color of his eyes, the little curl that falls into his forehead all the time. Louis gulps and sighs as he starts touching Harry’s hair, running his fingers through it slowly.

“Oh Lou,” Harry moans. “This feels so fucking good.” He doesn’t open his eyes but his eyes flutter a little bit. Louis doesn’t know where to put his left hand so he moves it around a bit but he’s kind of shy to touch Harry so he puts it next to Harry’s thighs.

Harry opens his eyes a little bit and smiles. He takes Louis’ hand and puts it on his tummy. “You can actually touch me, I’m not fragile.”

Louis gives him a smile. “You’re so beautiful,” he says quietly. “I feel like I’m not worth touching you.” What the fuck is he saying?

Harry gets up from Louis’ lap and kneels close to him, cupping his cheek. “Lou . . . I don’t know if you have noticed yet but . . . you are such a special person to me. Being with you is what I love most. And you should never have the feeling that you’re not worth it, never. You can touch me everywhere, over and over again. I need you to touch me, Louis. I want you to touch me,” Harry says quietly and suddenly the butterflies in Louis’ stomach come to life. He was close to this feeling before but it feels like this is the moment that changes everything. The boy straddles Louis and leans in to kiss him. It’s slow at first but then it gets really heated. Louis lowers his body a little bit so that his head lays on the pillow. Harry kisses the boy’s jaw, then his neck and bites the skin a little, then soothes the spots with his tongue. “I think you’re hot, Lou,” he breathes into Louis’ ear what makes the boy shiver. Fuck. Fuck him and his voice. He can already feel his jeans tighten. Harry’s breathing in his ear is the hottest thing ever. Louis lets out a quiet moan as Harry licks over his ear and nibbles at his earlobe. It’s one of his most sensitive spots and it drives him crazy. “Good to know you like this,” Harry whispers. “Let me find out what else you might like then,” he adds and kisses Louis on the mouth again roughly. Harry looks him in the eyes for a few seconds, then he leans back to pull Louis’ shirt over his head. Louis lets him do it but covers his tummy immediately.

Harry presses his lips together, looks at him seriously and shakes his head. “Don’t do that. You’re beautiful.” He puts Louis’ hands aside and gives his tummy a kiss. “I love your tummy, it’s so cute.”

“Don’t make fun of me,” Louis pouts.

“I would never do that, Lou. I love your tummy, I really do.” He traces Louis’ tummy with his fingers and lays down next to Louis and just looks him in the eyes. Harry’s eyes are so beautiful and yet, a little bit intimidating. Louis gulps as Harry let’s his hand glide over the boy’s crotch slightly. “Just tell me when to stop,” Harry whispers, kisses Louis eyelids and temple. “Okay?”

Louis presses his lips together and nods. Harry is just touching him slightly through the fabric and he can already feel the tension down there. Wow. “I . . . I trust you,” he says quietly and wishes he wouldn’t have. How ridiculous does he even sound? Harry doesn’t seem to mind, he comes close to Louis’ face again, bites his lip and stares at Louis’ before he starts kissing him again, slowly and Louis can’t resist. He kisses Harry back, lets his fingers run through his hair and tugs it a little bit. “Seems like . . . you like what I do,” Harry breathes, not breaking the kiss while he strokes Louis through the fabric of his boxers. The only thing Louis can do is whimper at the sensation he feels. Harry just smirks at Louis who is now trying to breathe normally but he doesn’t succeed. He hasn’t been touched for a while and this feels like heaven. Harry kisses Louis’ jawline, his neck and all the way down to his lower tummy. He pulls down Louis’ sweatpants and boxers at once so that Louis lays on the bed naked, his face red and his cock ready to be touched again. He spreads his legs almost automatically which makes Harry look him deep in his eyes while he lowers down in front of him.

Harry wraps his left hand around Louis’ thigh and gently bites it a few times. He lets his hand run up and down Louis’ shaft a few times before he takes him in his hand and pumps him slowly, his hand still wrapped around the boy’s thigh. Louis can’t stop staring at Harry who’s looking sexy between his legs. His eyes are sparkling as he moves his hand further up and down, massaging the boy’s balls gently. Fuck. This it too good to be true. Harry continues his assault and Louis is already leaking pre-come. “Horny, hm?” Harry says slowly, his raspy voice sending shivers down Louis’ spine.

Louis exhales and tries not to push his hips up. Harry chuckles, gives Louis a few more strokes while he lets his thumb run over his wet tip. He let’s go of Louis’ cock and crawls up toward him, straddling his hips. He lets his hand run over Louis’ forehead and hair, then kisses him. “Are you okay?” he wants to know. Louis gulps and looks at him with wide eyes, he’s so needy. He nods a few times and pulls Harry close for another kiss.

“It feels so good,” he says into his ear.

“Then I shouldn’t keep you waiting, I suppose unless . . . you want it,” he smirks, hovering over the boy, looking into his eyes.

“No please, don’t keep me waiting,” Louis breathes. Harry bites Louis’ lower lip and moves down his body again, quickly licking and sucking his nipples. He takes Louis in his hand and starts pumping, slowly moving his hand in a steady rhythm. Louis lets out a quiet moan but he can’t help, he presses his hips up to get more friction. He’s at the point where he needs it faster, definitely and he can’t take it anymore. “Please Harry, faster,” he breathes, his eyes closed at the sensation Harry gives him. The tension hasn’t stopped growing and he needs more, more than Harry is giving him.

Harry does what Louis wants but then he licks around the tip and takes Louis into his warm mouth and the level of pleasure couldn’t be any better. He is so good at giving head that Louis starts to moan silently. Harry is now hovering over his crotch and Louis grabs his right arm while the boy is taking Louis into his mouth again. He circles the tip with his tongue, takes him into his mouth again, bobs his head quite for a long while and pulls off again. Louis squeezes Harry’s arm harder because it feels so good and if Harry doesn’t stop he will come soon. Fuck, this feels amazing. And Harry doesn’t seem to even think of taking a break. He gives Louis a final lick and continues pumping him. The feeling in his lower stomach increases more and soon Louis can’t be quiet anymore. He moans and whimpers because what Harry does feels so good and satisfying that he could explode and it doesn’t take long for him until the sensation down there explodes in a strong orgasm that lets Louis’ squirm and his legs tremble as the cum shoots out of his cock in hot spurts. Harry doesn’t let go of him, he gently moves his hand up and down Louis shaft until he gets very sensitive and pulls his hands away. He’s lying there, heated, panting. Harry kisses his forehead and wipes the come of Louis with a tissue. Then he lies down next to Louis.

“Thank you,” Louis says, brushing Harry’s little streak out of his face. “That was… great,” he says yawning. “Sorry, I’m just tired.”

“It was a pleasure,” Harry whispers. “You have a pretty cock, baby.”

Louis giggles and scoots closer to Harry who wraps his arms around him. Louis can feel Harry being hard too but he’s so tired. “I can feel your willy on my ass,” Louis remarks and turns around again to face Harry. “Do you want me to-,” he starts but Harry silences him by putting his finger on his lips. “It’s okay, don’t worry. We’ll have enough time tomorrow.” Harry caresses Louis’ hair gently before he places a sweet kiss on his eyelids. “Sleep well, Lou.”

Louis gives Harry a kiss too and nuzzles close to him. “Turn around,” he says and Harry obeys. Louis wraps his arms around Harry and kisses his neck. “Sleep well, Harry.”

Harry sighs and kisses Louis knuckles. “Sleep well, baby.” The way Harry says “baby” makes Louis melt. He closes his eyes and listens to Harry’s slow, steady breathing until he falls asleep.

***

When Louis wakes up in the morning, Harry is still asleep next to him. Of course he is, at 5 o’clock in the morning. Louis turns his head to the left and looks at him. His skin looks soft, nearly perfect and he looks angelic in his sleep. Louis would like to touch him but he also doesn’t want to disturb his sleep. And suddenly, he thinks about what Harry told him about journalists and people who judge him. If they could see Harry sleeping, they would never write such hurtful things about him again. He regrets how he treated Harry when they met first, he feels so guilty. This boy didn’t deserve Louis shouting at him, he didn’t deserve Louis’ harsh words. He didn’t deserve all the drama Louis had caused. And if he thinks of how he reacted when Harry hugged Lottie . . . it was absolutely needless to ruin her evening. Now he slowly realizes how wrong he was. Harry was nothing but nice to her, he wanted her to feel comfortable as he has showed him several times. Louis feels so dumb for treating his sister and Harry so poorly, he regrets how rude he was and he wished he could take everything back. Harry hasn’t said one mean word to him, he didn’t even mention Louis’s rude behavior nor has he tried to blame Louis.

Louis grabs his phone and goes to the bathroom where he sits down on the floor. He opens his whattsapp and taps the chat with Lottie.

_“I love you, little sister. Hope you’re doing fine. I woke up too early, don’t know why. Haven’t seen you for a while . . . and I miss you. Can we meet soon?”_

Of course Louis doesn’t expect an answer that early in the morning. He has a wee, walks back into the bedroom and gets into bed carefully, not to wake Harry. Suddenly, the boy stirs. His eyelashes flutter and he opens his eyes a little bit. “Lou?” he whispers. “Aren’t you feeling well?”

“Sorry,” Louis mumbles. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay, you didn’t. But are you okay?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“You’re lying,” Harry says quietly. “I can hear it in your voice.”

Louis sighs. “I just feel guilty because I was so rude to you and Lottie but I just don’t know how to make up for it.” He turns his head to look at Harry. “I was such an idiot and you were so nice to me.”

“It’s okay, Lou. You apologized and it’s all good now,” Harry whispers.

“But I don’t feel like I have really apologized, to be honest,” Louis responds. Harry chuckles. “What?” Louis asks frowning.

“Well I . . . I have an idea how you could apologize,” he says slowly. His voice is incredibly raspy this morning, sexy as hell. He leans over and kisses Louis who kisses him back. Harry turns back his and Louis covers and hoovers over the boy. His puts his hands next to Louis head and comes closer to him. “Do you remember what we did last night?”

Louis gulps. Fuck. “Do you want me to,-“ he says but Harry puts his hand in front of his mouth. “Just do it,” he whispers, takes his hand away and kisses him again, slowly, needy. Louis would love to touch Harry but he has never touched a dick before except his, but this is different. He props himself up on his elbows and pushes his hair back from his forehead.

“Harry I . . . I have never done that before – I mean I have but not . . . not with a guy,” Louis stutters.

“Don’t you want to do it?” Harry asks as he’s getting up and kneels down next to Louis. He takes his hand in his. “If you don’t want to it’s okay Lou, I don’t want to force you into anything.”

Louis shakes his head. “No, no – I would like to, I’m just . . . I’m afraid, I mean, I have never done it to a guy before.” He feels his cheeks flushing and he’s getting nervous all of a sudden.

Harry gives him a kiss and smiles at the boy. “There’s no need to be afraid. Just do what you think is right and it will be alright.” He takes Louis’ head in his hands and pulls him close for a kiss. “Maybe you need . . .” he breathes and kisses Louis slowly as he lets his hand travel down Louis’ torso until he reaches his crotch. “Does this feel good?” he whispers into Louis’ ear while his lips are gently brushing against it. This is fucking hot, just as Harry’s touch. He’s now pumping the boy slowly so that he squirms and wraps his arms around Harry’s neck to steady himself. Harry gives Louis a kiss on his hair. “If you make me come, I will make you come too,” he says with a smirk. “I will love everything you do, just as you love what I do to you.”

And that’s it, Louis really doesn’t care anymore. It’s not that he doesn’t want to touch Harry . . . he _needs_ to touch him by now. Louis takes Harry’s hand away from his length and intertwines their fingers as he’s slowly pushing the older boy down on the mattress. He pushes Harry’s hair away from his forehead, kisses it and looks at him. “If you only knew how pretty you are,” he says, tracing Harry’s full lips with his thumb. “And you can believe me, I’ve never called a guy pretty but you’re . . . you’re amazing, you _are_ pretty as fuck.”

Harry gives him a smirk and lifts his head to kiss Louis. “Thank you, baby,” he coos and leans back again while Louis lets his fingers trace along Harry’s muscles. Harry closes his eyes and sighs. “Never stop touching me,” he whispers but doesn’t open his eyes. Louis lets his fingers explore Harry’s tummy and goes up to touch Harry’s nipples gently which makes him whimper a little bit. “I love this,” he whispers and opens his eyes. God, he looks beautiful and Louis just needs to kiss him. He comes closer to the boy’s mouth and gently touches Harry’s lips with his a few times before he kisses him roughly. Then Louis lowers down, kisses Harry’s neck and moves down to his nipples. Even Harry’s nipples are beautiful and puffy. Louis circles his tongue around one of them, slowly, gently biting it and meanwhile he’s brushing his fingertips over Harry’s other one. Harry lets his fingers run over Louis head and grabs his hair and tugs a little bit. Harry seems to like what Louis is doing so he continues pleasing Harry the way he does. When he stops, Louis gets a little bit nervous again, he touches Harry’s crotch slightly, then he pulls back and lays down next to Harry.

Harry opens his eyes. “What’s wrong baby?”

Harry calling him baby makes Louis want to melt. “I want to do everything right,” he says. Harry holds his arm up and gives Louis a sign to scoot over. Why is he such a sweetheart? Louis nuzzles close to Harry and buries his head into his neck.

“Sorry,” he mumbles.

Harry wraps his arm around Louis’ neck and pulls him closer by his waist. “Don’t feel pressured.” He kisses Louis’ temple. Harry being so gentle with him makes him almost cry.

“I feel like an idiot,” Louis mumbles.

“You’re not. I can understand that it might be a little weird for you so,” Harry replies and yawns.

Louis inhales audible and lets out a sigh. “Can I stay like this?”

Harry just kisses his forehead and wraps his arms tighter around the boy. It doesn’t take long until they fall asleep again.

***

When they wake up around nine, the boys decide to have breakfast in their room. Louis has the time of his life when Harry tells him he can order whatever is on the menu because everything will be paid by management. Then Harry calls Paul, his security guy. Harry’s security guy Paul agrees on Harry walking around without him but he has to promise to call him in case something happens.

It’s not very warm outside so Harry puts on his dark green hoodie, a cap and pulls the hood over his head. “I hope people won’t recognize me today, I’d love to spend my time only with you,” he says and gives Louis a kiss.

“Maybe you should put on sunglasses too,” Louis says as he’s ruffling through his hair.

Harry shakes his head. “It’s not sunny today and if I do that, they’ll probably look at me even more. I’ve tried it but it seems like people tend to notice me the more I’m trying to hide.” Harry puts his phone in his pocket, takes his hotel card from the table and looks out of the window for a short moment. “It looks a bit rainy so I suppose that there won’t be many people out today.”

“The girls who will attend your show tonight are probably already waiting in front of the venue, so they won’t be visiting.”

Harry chuckles. “Probably,” he says and gives Louis a smile before the boys leave. Harry’s hotel is only a few miles away from the famous “East Side Gallery” so that’s where they go first. The boys walk along the long wall that used to divide Berlin into two parts years ago. After the wall was teared down in 1989, artists from all over the world travelled to Berlin to leave a footprint of their happiness and hopes onto it. The west side of the wall has always been painted on, even when Berlin was still separated. People in the east couldn’t reach the wall because there was a huge border strip that was built between the wall and the east side of Berlin. Fences, barbed wire, automatic firing systems and other barricades were built to prevent people from passing the border and getting to the west. Harry knows all these things because last time they had a guide and he’s very interested in history.

Then the boys take the subway to the world famous “Alexanderplatz”. It’s a huge public space that’s surrounded by a hotel, several malls, office blocks and blocks of flats. The architecture from the 60’s and 70’s is clearly noticeable and creates a special atmosphere. “That’s history right next to you,” Harry says as he’s walking over to the famous world clock with Louis. The world clock, which actually is an astronomical clock that displays the time for various cities in the world, has a very unique shape. It doesn’t look like an actual clock, more like a round block of stone. “You can basically smell history here,” he says as he’s looking up to the sky. The television tower next to the stations looks cool and Louis takes some pictures from different angles. “Thanks for taking me here, it’s so cool,” Louis says while he’s crouching down to take one last picture from another perspective.

“I’m glad you like it,” Harry says and smiles at him. After Louis has finished, the boys take the subway to the main station that’s the government quarter of Berlin and just a short walk away from the “Brandenburg Gate”. The area is huge and there aren’t many people in the street. Louis hasn’t seen many teenage girls, they’re probably at school or – like he thought – waiting in front of the venue. In front of the gate there are more people because they also want to take pictures of Berlin’s most famous landmark. There are many street artists dancing, drawing, singing there’s also a small group of people protesting against pollution or something on the left side.

“Look, that’s the “Adlon” hotel, it’s one of the most famous and expensive ones,” Harry tells Louis.

“Have you stayed there?”

“With the band, yes, but you know . . . there were too many people and the fans were camping in front of it which wasn’t pleasant so my tour manager decided to book one that’s not too central,” Harry explains.

“It looks very expensive,” Louis remarks.

Harry nods. “Very. But they only book the expensive hotels for us because fans usually can’t afford the rooms so we can be sure they won’t bother us in private,” he explains.

“Oh . . . and I’ve always thought that bands booked these expensive hotels just because they think that they’re better than the rest of us,” Louis admits. “Only to show off how famous and rich they are.”

“I don’t know about that Lou, we’re not like that,” Harry says. “It’s very beautiful inside and the beds are heavenly. If you like we can come here for a weekend one day.”

“Maybe?” Louis says and gives Harry a smile. “But let’s wait until I get a job because I don’t think that I can afford even one hour in this hotel.”

“Agreed,” Harry answers. “Let’s go through the gate because behind it they have marked where the wall was located.” The boys walk through the huge gate, to the other side where a thick metal line is embedded into the ground. “Isn’t this scary that people couldn’t pass this wall? And that they even shot people who tried?” Harry asks Louis as they’re standing in front of the metal line.

“It actually is scary as hell. I read about it last year.”

Louis takes some more pictures. Then the boys decide to grab some cookies and a coffee at Starbucks that’s only a few feet away from the gate. But going to a Starbucks next to one of Berlin’s most famous sights turns out to be a mistake because the café is full with young people. Why aren’t they at school? While they’re waiting in line, Louis notices how people stare at Harry, how they start whispering secretly about him. The stares feel so uncomfortable, even if Louis is sure they’re not staring at him. Louis leans over to Harry. “Almost everyone is staring at you,” he whispers into Harry’s ear. Suddenly, he can hear a girl crying somewhere behind him. Oh god, it’s starting again. This feels so uncomfortable for him, how must it feel for Harry? Does he like it?

Harry shrugs. “I know, but even if I wanted to I couldn’t do anything about it so I just try to be me.”

“I feel so uncomfortable,” Louis says quietly. “Feels like they’re watching your every move.”

“I’m sure they’re also watching you, Lou.” Harry winks secretly and gives Louis a cute smile. “Try not to look at them, just relax, do what you always do. I’m used to this situation, don’t worry about me. Better concentrate of what I should get you,” he says, pointing at the menu.

It seems like the guys behind the counter don’t know who Harry is because they don’t act any different than they do with other costumers. Maybe it’s them just being professional or them not making a fuss about Harry Styles standing in front of them. Louis can literally feel that people are also staring at him which makes him want to go out of this shop immediately. While Louis is trying to behave as normal as he can under these circumstances, Harry buys four different cookies, two muffins and two coffees for them to go. The guy puts the food into a box and the beverages into a cardboard cup holder.

Louis takes the box and the cup holder and puts them on a table near the window. After Harry has paid, two girls get up from their seats and walk over to them. They ask him for a picture and Harry agrees. They also want autographs on their arms and Harry does it. But that’s just the beginning. Suddenly, it seems like almost everyone in the café wants to have a picture with Harry. The best thing is that most of them don’t even talk to Harry properly. Some of them gasp, a few sob, the others stutter . . . what is this? And of course, Harry being the nice guy he is, talks to them, touches their shoulders to calm the crying girls down, some even try to hug him and Harry lets them. He just doesn’t tell them no, he keeps smiling into their cameras, he answers politely and even asks them how they feel. Louis sits down on a chair to wait for Harry since it seems like he’ll be occupied for a while. Some of the girls start pushing and even screaming a little bit while Harry still seems relaxed while he’s constantly writing his name down on arms, piece of papers, tissues and bags. How can he stay so calm and nice? There are at least eight girls standing close to him talking, shouting, crying.

If Louis is honest to himself, he can feel a slight queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He’s jealous, yes, that’s jealousy. Fuck. Louis takes a sip of his coffee.

Suddenly the Starbucks guy walks over to the small crowd of people. “Excuse me but this is getting too much. Girls, if you don’t stop this in here I will ask you to leave the café. You’re too loud and you’re disturbing our other clients.”

Harry gives him a smile. “I was planning on leaving anyways,” Harry tells the guy. “Sorry for the inconvenience.”

The guy nods and walks away. “I would like to continue sightseeing with my friend now, I hope you understand,” Harry tells them. “Have a nice day and I’ll see some of you at the concert tonight.” The girls say goodbye to Harry; they giggle, they whisper, they squeal. This is so annoying.

Only two girls don’t want to leave and ask Harry to draw something on a piece of paper. They tell him that they want to get a tattoo of his drawing. Louis thinks he’s having a déjà-vu. Can’t they just leave him alone? He told them that he wants to leave but no - they don’t respect him at all. This makes Louis angry but he stays quiet. After he has finished drawing he says goodbye to these girls too and tells them to have a nice day before he turns around and grabs the bag from the table. “Let’s go,” he says and waits until Louis has gotten up. They walk out of the café, towards the subway. But after a few minutes, Louis starts thinking that their little trip has already ended. The place seems crowded with mostly teenage girls who giggle and squeal and won’t stop sneaking pictures of Harry while they’re gathering around him and Harry does what he’s used to do: fan service. This word sounds nicer than it actually is. After what feels like hours, Harry finally says goodbye to the small crowd outside too and Louis can’t wait to leave. But the Starbucks incident seems to turn out as a fail because Harry and Louis can’t walk more than a few feet without being talked to. They have even started talking to Louis but Louis can’t be as nice as Harry and – he doesn’t want to. Louis is so annoyed and uncomfortable that he would like to grab Harry’s arm and drag him down to the subway station. The situation is getting stressful because more and more people gather around the boys and Louis nearly starts to panic. The girls around Harry and Louis are so close together that Louis is afraid they could be crushed. Thank god there are three policemen walking over to them and within seconds, Harry and Louis are separated from the girls who are showing the same symptoms as the girls in Starbucks: crying, yelping, gossiping, whispering and screaming. While Louis is internally cursing at the girls, Harry is on the phone with Paul and asks him to pick them up. The police accompany Harry and Louis to a less crowded street nearby and within one hour, the boys are back in their hotel room.

“Thank god that’s over,” Louis moans as he lets himself fall on the bed, covering his eyes.

Harry flops down next to Louis, wraps one arm around his chest and nuzzles close to him. “I’m happy to be alone with you again,” he says quietly and kisses Louis’ neck gently and inhales the boys’ smell.

Louis turns his head towards Harry and touches his cheek. “I couldn’t stand how they were touching you.” He looks in Harry’s eyes, then kisses him gently and hovers over him, straddling Harry’s thighs.

“I want to be the only one who’s touching you,” he says.

Harry gives him a smirk and pulls him close by his neck to kiss him. They go from slow kissing to ecstatic kissing within seconds. Kissing Harry is such a pleasure, his lips are soft, his tongue moves perfectly with Louis’ as if they’ve never done anything else together. Harry bites Louis’ lip and lets it go again just to catch him again and Harry lets out a moan. “This feels so good,” he breathes into the kiss as Louis as their tongues are massaging, licking, sucking. Louis tries to pull back a few times, he pretends to kiss Harry and he enjoys the little game but Harry isn’t having it. “Stop teasing me, baby,” he says, grabbing Louis’ shirt and pulls him down again, kisses him roughly, their lips touching hungrily. Louis has never kissed someone that intensely, it’s magic.

Louis can feel the tension building, he can feel that he’s getting hard already. “Touch me, please,” Harry suddenly whimpers as he’s kissing Louis hungrily. “Please.”

Harry begging him is the hottest thing ever, fuck. And Louis feels like he can do it. He gets off the bed and kneels down on the floor in front of Harry. Harry props up on his elbows to look at Louis. He bites his lower lip in anticipation, not breaking eye contact while he’s spreading his legs. Fuck. Although Harry is still fully clothed, this is hot. Louis touches Harry’s bulge that’s quite prominent in his jeans and rubs his hand up and down before he opens Harry’s belt and pulls his jeans down to his ankles. He runs his hands up Harry’s thighs before he pulls down his pants and wow, Harry is big. Louis takes Harry’s cock in his hand and gives him a few strokes to get used to the feeling. Harry leans his head back and exhales which should be a good sign? Louis lets his hand run up and down Harry’s shaft slowly. He thought this would be strange but to Louis’ surprise it isn’t. He pumps Harry a little bit faster, touching his tip too. Then he doesn’t think anymore. Louis lets his hand run down again, rests his hand at the bottom of Harry’s cock while he licks a stripe up to his tip, lets his tongue circle around the tip before he takes Harry’s length into his mouth and starts bobbing his head up and down slowly. Harry lets out a moan and sucks air in between his teeth. “Fuck Lou, this feels so good,” he breathes as he’s grabbing Louis’ hair and buries his hand into it. Louis doesn’t stop blowing Harry. The boy starts using his hand too and combines the movement of his hand with his mouth, concentrates on Harry’s tip and gives him more firm strokes. Louis loves doing it, he really does and all he wants is to please Harry. His moans are so hot and blowing him is better than anything. Louis holds Harry’s cock and moves his head up again, kissing his tip and pulling away. Harry looks him in the eyes. “Don’t stop Louis, please,” he begs. Louis smiles at him, gives his cock a small kiss and straddles Harry again. “You are so hot Harry,” he whispers, pressing his lips onto Harry’s. Harry kisses him hungrily, sloppy, hot. “Please Lou, touch me again. I love what you’re doing, you’re so good,” Harry says between the kisses what makes Louis smirk. “Okay love,” he smiles. “In case I do something wrong,-“ Louis says but gets interrupted by Harry who presses his hand in front of the boy’s mouth. “Stop talking shit, you’re doing great and now go back down there because I can’t take this torture anymore,” Harry breathes into Louis’ ear which makes him horny as fuck. Not that he isn’t turned on but . . . anyways. Louis is hard too and he’s already leaking, just like Harry. Louis goes down on his knees again and takes Harry into his mouth, sucking him hard and faster than before. He massages Harry’s balls with one hand and pumps Harry with his other hand. “Fuck!” Harry says through his teeth, sucking in a sharp breath. He presses his hips up a little bit and his body starts to stiffen. “More Louis, please, more!” he begs, grabbing Louis’ arm. Louis can actually feel and see Harry’s arousement which turns him on too and he wants to please Harry as good as he can so he tightens his grip and starts pumping him faster and faster. Harry is squirming, he’s pressing his hips up again and his breathing is getting heavier. Louis’ hand is nearly aching but Harry’s reaction is worth it, it’s totally worth it. Harry’s cock looks beautiful, huge, red and the veins are showing. Harry’s face is glowing, his eyes are closed in pleasure and his moans increase as he’s close to his orgasm. Louis does his best to not ruin it for Harry and it doesn’t take long until he comes all over Louis’ hand and his own tummy.

Harry is panting, catching his breath. “This was so good,” he says while Louis wipes his hand and Harry’s tummy with a wet tissue carefully. He gives him a smile and gets up to throw the tissue away. Meanwhile Harry has pulled his pants up and is about to put his sweat pants on. He walks over to Louis, wraps his arms around him from behind and kisses his cheek several times. "I’m so thankful that you came to that concert in Manchester,” he says into Louis’ ear.

Louis chuckles and turns around. He cups Harry’s face with his hands and pulls him close for a slow kiss before he wraps his arms around his defined torso. Harry’s body feels so good, it’s not too muscly but also not too soft, it’s right in the middle. He looks him in the eyes. “I had never thought that I would make a man come,” he says and chuckles.

“You’re a pro,” Harry smiles and nudges Louis’ nose. “I will need this more often, I suppose.” Harry chuckles and pulls Louis closer by his lower back.

“So you really liked it? You’re not just saying that?”

Harry nods. “I enjoyed it so much and to be honest, you could touch me all the time, everywhere. I love being with you, Louis,” he says and leans in for another kiss. When they pull away, Harry looks Louis in the eyes. “Louis, I . . . uhm . . . I wanted to ask you if . . . if you would like to be my boyfriend?”

What? Louis is caught off guard. He looks at Harry with wide eyes. He has never thought about what their relationship was like, he never thought about putting a label on it but now . . . he loves being around Harry so much, he has butterflies in his stomach every time they touch and . . . but he’s not gay, is he? Or maybe he is, Louis doesn’t know. But being with Harry is the best feeling ever and he can’t believe what Harry is telling him.

“Oh sorry Lou, I didn’t want to scare you,” Harry says as he’s pulling away from Louis. “Maybe this was a mistake, I-,” Harry continues but Louis interrupts him.

“What? No! Harry I . . . I was just lost in thought because I’m kind of shocked, surprised, I don’t know I mean . . . I’ve always had girlfriends but to be honest, I feel good around you too and it’s the best feeling in the world.” Louis takes Harry’s hands in his. “I was scared of this, I was scared to like you the way I do but I can’t change it and I . . . I don’t want to miss it.”

Harry smiles at Louis. “So, I’m asking you again. Would you like to be my boyfriend?”

Louis nods. “Definitely yes, Harry,” he says and leans in for a kiss. Then he takes Harry’s hand in his and leads him to the sofa where they sit down. Harry leans his head against Louis’ chest and wraps his arms around his torso. Louis kisses Harry’s hair and runs his fingers through the dense curls. “I wish you would never stop doing this,” Harry whispers and kisses Louis’ chest while Louis continues to massage Harry’s scalp. They stay like this for a while. It feels so good to touch Harry, it feels so good to know that he feels the same for Louis as he does. Of course they kissed and stuff but Louis wasn’t sure if it was just fun for Harry or not.

“But what about if someone finds out about us?” Louis asks suddenly.

Harry gets up from Louis’ chest. He takes Louis’ hand into his and sighs heavily before he starts speaking.

“That would be a real problem, indeed,” Harry says and pinches his nose. “Do you remember when I got the call? I had a meeting with my boss after you posted that picture and the headlines appeared online.”

Louis nods. He has got the feeling that he won’t like what Harry will tell him next. “He knows I’m gay but the problem is my contract says I have to hide it. My public relation team will employ a beard for me if the media and people in general start talking about it again.”

“So, you’re not allowed to tell people that you’re gay?” Louis asks, frowning.

“Exactly. And I’m not allowed to tell them that I have a boyfriend. My boss would even prefer if I stayed single. The only ones who are allowed to know is my family and some of my closest friends but even they have signed a contract that’s kind of bound to my management. They aren’t allowed to talk about it to anyone. That’s why my boss was so angry. He wanted to know details about you which pissed me off,” Harry says, pushing his hair back. “And to be more concrete; I’m not even allowed to have an official boyfriend for the duration of the contract and this makes me very sad. I don’t want to have a beard again and I don’t want to hide who I love.”

“But what about me, I mean . . . do I also have to sign something?” Louis asks.

“I had to promise him not to meet you again,” Harry says and exhales audibly. “I didn’t want to involve you, I wanted to protect you from this business but I’m not sure if it’s too late after today.” Harry bows his head. “I’m sorry.”

Louis caresses his arm. “But haven’t they already seen me? I mean I was at your concert, I talked to people, to Paul and the boys?”

“They know and they don’t care. It’s just about the media and people in general. I know they won’t tell my management and luckily my boss isn’t on tour with us. Sometimes they’ll send someone who would check the situation out but I haven’t seen anyone so far. But you know what my problem is? The pictures we did in the afternoon. I’m sure the girls took a lot and I’m convinced that you appear in them. I’m sorry that I haven’t told you before. I just thought I could have a normal day with you, do things everyone does without being restricted but now I know that it was very dumb to do so. It was dumb and irresponsible of me, I’m very sorry.”

Louis doesn’t say anything while Harry pulls out his phone. “I have private twitter and tumblr accounts to check on what’s going on in the fandom,” he explains, scoots closer to Louis and shows him the screen. “I think they have already uploaded some pictures.”

Harry types his name into the search bar and there they are, pictures from this afternoon. And there’s Louis. Fuck. “See, there you are and this will be a problem, I know that. My boss will be beyond angry with me and I can already prepare for a beard.” Harry sighs. “Sometimes I hate this business. It’s not about you as a person or you as a musician, it’s about how you appear, how you look, who you’re with. Being straight is like the most important rule.”

Louis doesn’t know what to answer.  “Do you think your sister has told her friends about me?” Harry asks.

Louis shrugs. “Maybe she has, I don’t know.”

“Well I mean, they have nothing to do with the press and stuff so this wouldn’t be a problem but better don’t tell anyone about us, don’t tell them we’re together.”

“I think I can do that because I’m still so unsure about this since I had only girlfriends and I have no idea how my family and friends would react so to be honest, I’d like to keep it a secret at first anyways,” he answers.

“I can relate to that and I want you to know that I don’t want to force you into anything. If you feel uncomfortable or something, please tell me.”

“Thank you,” Louis says and leans in to give Harry a kiss. “But what’s a beard? I mean I know but I don’t think it has to do with facial hair.” He frowns.

Harry gives him a small smile. “Sorry . . . a beard means that they will give me a fake girlfriend and that will include more rules and more restrictions for me and the girl. We will have to post pictures on our official social media, we will have to appear at parties together, at presentations of awards and I have to talk about her in interviews as if it was real. They did that to me in the beginning of the band to prevent people from thinking I was gay – I mean, you saw the articles and you also judged me for them and this is what people are supposed to do. They should think I’m straight, they should think I am a womanizer who messes around with any possible girl and of course I can’t be single for too long. Sometimes I try to give people hints, small ones and if someone listens carefully, they’ll notice that something is wrong. I mean, you can’t believe how much it hurts to pretend loving someone in front of the cameras. This whole business is just smoke and mirrors, superficial and cold. It’s about money, not people and I can’t get out of it because of my contract.”

“That’s terrible,” Louis says. “Isn’t there any possibility to get out of it?”

“No. I signed a huge part of the contract when I was sixteen and my mum had to sign it too. I was young and who would think about their children becoming that successful? I was just auditioning for the x-factor like anybody else and we had to sign in case if we would succeed. To be honest, I didn’t believe it would happen at all but I was wrong. These contracts aren’t fair at all,” he explains. “As I said, it’s the business. I’ve got a thousand restrictions and rules I have to follow but I don’t want to waste my time talking about it.” Harry puts his phone away and fidgets with his hands. “If you don’t want to deal with all this, I would understand and if you don’t want to be my boyfriend because of this shit.” His voice gets quieter at the end of his sentence.

Louis caresses Harry’s arm, then tilts his chin up. “I want to be your boyfriend, even if it means that I have to be your secret boyfriend, I don’t mind as long as I can be with you.”

Harry smiles. “That’s the best thing ever,” he says and presses his lips against Louis’ gently. “I love you,” Harry says softly, gently cupping Louis’ face in his hand, looking him into his eyes.

“I love you too,” Louis answers as he wraps his arms around Harry’s neck to pull him close for an intimate, slow kiss. "When will you be back home?"

Harry kisses Louis' forehead and hugs him tight again.  "Next Sunday."

"I’m going to miss you." Louis really means it. If someone had told him that he'd be with a boy, Louis would have told him to fuck off but with Harry, it's different.

"I know," Harry answers and gives Louis a few small kisses on his forehead. "But I promise I'll message you every day and when I'm home, you can come over, okay?"

“I would be happy about that,” Louis says and nuzzles closer to the taller boy. “I would have never thought that being with you would feel so good,” he mumbles. Being close to Harry is wonderful, it’s soothing, calming, warm, better than anything.

Suddenly, Louis can hear two male voices. They seem to argue, at least one of them sounds very angry. He can’t quite make out what they are talking about but it doesn’t seem friendly at all. A few seconds later, he recognizes the voice: Paul, the security guy.

They can’t even react when the door is opened forcefully and a man in his fifties, dressed in a black suit and a dark red tie is storming into the room. “What the hell is going on here?!”

Harry’s eyes get wide as he sees the man entering the room. He shifts uncomfortably, his face goes from normal to pale within seconds and he’s totally caught off guard. Louis doesn’t know what to do, he’s scared, just scared.

The man walks over to the sofa where Harry and Louis are sitting. “Are you really trying to provoke me? Do you want to ruin the whole project because of this twink?!” he shouts in such an aggressive tone that Louis nearly pees in his pants. The man’s face is red, his eyes wide open. He is so fucking anxiety inducing Louis has never experienced something like it before. He’s whole presence is intimidating.

“How did you get here?” Harry asks. Louis can feel that he’s not comfortable at all but he tries not to sound weak, Louis can tell.

“You thought I wouldn’t notice that you’re obviously breaking the rules, you thought you could do whatever you wanted to and you know, it wasn’t really hard to figure out something was wrong!” he shouts, throwing a few pages at Harry.

Harry picks them up and looks at some. Louis has the impression that his face gets even paler.

“Have you really thought I wouldn’t notice? Have you?” he continues shouting. “You’re trying to do your own thing Styles, you think you’re cleverer than I am and you totally haven’t understood that it’s not you who holds the power here, it’s me!” He gives Harry a disparaging look, also facing Louis. “You won’t get away with your sneaky attempts to avoid our agreements, I won’t tolerate that you obviously aren’t carrying out our agreements and you know what that means for you! I’m sick of your games, Styles!”

“But Mr. Co,-“ Harry says but the man won’t let him speak.

“It’s not up to you to talk right now, Styles,” he growls. Then he turns towards Louis. “I want you to keep quiet about this conversation or I will sue you,” he says forcefully. “And trust me, you won’t be the winner.”

Louis doesn’t know what to say. What is this guy talking about? He walks away a few steps then focuses on Louis again. “You will not meet Styles again, you will delete his number from your phone now, here in front of my eyes.” He pauses. “You will delete your Instagram and if you have ever interacted with Styles’ social media accounts, you will delete them too. I never want to see you again anywhere near him or the band in general. I don’t have time to deal with gossip about Styles and men or . . . should I say school boys – which actually is the worst.” His face comes closer to Louis’. “When you leave this room, you will pretend none of this has ever happened. Ever. Is this clear?”

Louis can’t answer out of shock. “Is this clear?” the man shouts again, his evil eyes staring into Louis’ who just nods. “I never want to see you around Styles again,” he repeats and faces Harry again.

“And you Styles, you will have to face the consequences of your actions and you know what that means. He holds his hand out to Harry and gives him a sign with the fingers. “Now,” he says. Harry hands him his phone with a straight face. “You will never see this phone again.” The man’s voice is lower now what doesn’t mean that he’s not enraged anymore. His tone is cold, a disgusting sound that makes Louis’ sick. “Buy a new one and tell your family and friends that you lost it or something, I don’t care,” he says and lets the phone slide into his pocket. Harry doesn’t respond. He just sits there, staring at his hands. “If you think that’s all, you’re wrong,” he adds and turns toward Louis again.

“And you,” he tells Louis, bending his body closer to him, “you will leave right after you’ve deleted your Instagram and maybe your other social networks. I want you to do it in front of me so that I can be sure you really did it but I warn you – don’t try to fool me.” He leans against the back of the sofa. “A taxi will drive you to the airport and then I never want to see you again and trust me, you don’t really want to face the consequences. My lawyers will crush you within minutes, don’t you dare try to provoke me.” The man gives Louis a sign to come over and delete what he wants to. Harry’s face tells Louis that he’s sorry but he can’t do anything about it. This man frightens him so bad that he doesn’t dare to contradict him. Louis deletes his Instagram and has to show the guy his Facebook and twitter accounts but obviously he isn’t following Harry and as Louis hasn’t linked his social networks and has a private Facebook account so the man allows him to keep them. Then Louis has to delete Harry’s number from his phone. “I don’t want you to come anywhere close to Harry, is that clear?” the man hisses. The boy just nods, then walks to the sofa again but he doesn’t know what to do so he just stands there, his gaze wandering to Harry and the man. The man sends Louis a glare. “What are you waiting for? Grab your stuff now and LEAVE!” he shouts, tilting his head toward the door. Louis doesn’t dare to say anything. He tells Harry bye quietly, throws his stuff into his bag and follows the man out of the room.

 


	18. After

Louis is too shocked to talk to the guy who’s taking him to the airport but the guy doesn’t seem to be interested in a conversation anyways. Louis feels like he’s in trance. He still can’t believe what has just happened to him. The boy stares out of the window with a blank look and it seems as if the houses, people and landscapes all melt into a blurry, undefined mass. When he arrives at the airport, he doesn’t even thank the man for driving him. He grabs his bags and gets out of the car, not turning back.

It seems like Louis can’t even function for the next few hours until he arrives back home. He throws the bags on the floor and flops down on his bed. His head hurts. He closes his eyes and concentrates on the noises he can hear. Slowly he realizes what happened a few hours ago and he feels like he’s getting sick. Louis falls asleep because he’s so exhausted and when he wakes up, it’s already dark outside. He grabs his phone to message Harry but just when he’s opening his messenger he remembers that he had to delete Harry’s number. And that’s when it hits him hard. The man shouting and yelling at Harry and him, the threats, the glares, the fact that Louis had to delete Harry’s number. He remembers everything and it hurts, it hurts him so bad that he feels like the burning in his heart will destroy him. Louis has never missed someone that much, he has never ever felt such a pain in his heart. He doesn’t get up anymore and falls asleep a few minutes later again.

***

It’s not easy for Louis to deal with the situation he’s in. He tries to continue as normal as possible but he can’t forget about Harry. Going to uni helps a little bit because he can meet his friends there and get distracted a little bit but honestly, it’s not possible to ignore the queasy feeling in his stomach and the sadness in his heart. His friends ask him if he’s okay a lot but Louis doesn’t want to talk. Luckily, they aren’t interested in gossip and tabloids so they obviously haven’t heard about the rumors about Harry and him. When he’s not training with his team in the evenings, Louis gets sad often. He sits on his bed with the laptop on his lap and watches interviews of One Direction. It hurts him so bad that he doesn’t have any pictures of Harry anymore, no chats, anything. He misses Harry so much that he can’t control the tears that are running down his face without warning on day four. He has never felt that heartbroken before, ever.

After Louis gets home the next day, he spends some time with Stan and Keira but his thoughts are only circling around Harry. He’s afraid that he can’t ever meet him again. What if this man threated him again? What if he chooses his career over Louis – which he probably will do? Harry is special to Louis and nobody has ever been that special to him. Of course Louis is still puzzled about him liking a man the way he does but the feeling in his heart he has for this boy is just too strong to ignore it. He hasn’t told anyone about it and nobody has asked him which is okay for him. If he’s honest to himself, he doesn’t want to tell anyone how he feels and he has talked to Harry who said it would be better not to tell people about them. Maybe now everything is too late already. Louis is afraid that he won’t see Harry again and this thought makes him feel sick.

In the evening Louis starts working on a school assignment but it’s not possible for him to concentrate for more than half an hour. His thoughts are still circling around Harry. Louis saves his document and types Harry’s name into google search.

What he sees shocks and hurts him at the same time. This isn’t what he was expecting, it really isn’t. Various headlines include a girl named Kendall Jenner who obviously is a model. Louis doesn’t like these headlines at all but the pictures are even worse. As Louis is looking at them, he’s getting jealous: In one picture sitting in a restaurant with her, obviously having a candle light dinner. The picture isn’t in high quality so it must be real. In the next picture, Harry is walking through a park in Paris with her and they’re holding hands. The third picture shows her, nuzzling into Harry’s neck, smiling. And the worst part is that . . . Harry is smiling too. His dimples are showing and Louis feels like his heart is ripped out of his chest. Seeing them together makes Louis squirm uncomfortably and his stomach is tightening. Was Harry lying to him while he was with this girl instead? Was he using him? Louis doesn’t know what to think. He continues to scroll down through the headlines.

_“American beauty Kendall and the British heartthrob Harry Styles caught flirting”_

_“Harry Styles’ new, hottest conquest”_

_“Teenager girls all around the world, you have to be strong – Harry shows his new girl”_

_“The womanizer strikes again – Harry Styles and Kendall Jenner are the hottest couple in Hollywood”_

He can’t take this anymore. Louis closes his laptop and puts it away. If he could, he would throw it out of his window. Why is Harry doing this to him? Does he even care? Maybe he didn’t really like Louis? Louis hates this girl already, he hates her so much. The boy lies down on his bed, trying to get those pictures out of his mind but he can’t. Louis is sad but most of all, he’s jealous, very, very jealous of that girl. The queasy feeling in his stomach nearly hurts, he feels like he needs to vomit. He feels empty. Just empty with a heart that couldn’t ache more, with a heart that couldn’t hurt him more. Now he’s sure that he will probably never see Harry again. Maybe it’s better that way, maybe everything was a lie anyways. Louis has never even thought about guys being attractive, not a little bit. He has never had feelings for a guy and he feels dumb for everything that happened. Maybe it was just imagination, something weird that happened for whatever reason. And just in that moment Louis realizes it must have been a lie. It feels like a dream and Louis decides to forget about it completely.


	19. Harry

It’s not easy for Louis to forget everything that has happened with Harry but he keeps telling himself how stupid it was over and over again and it seems to work. Louis starts concentrating on his work, football and friends more which helps him to suppress his feelings for Harry which can’t be erased but at least it doesn’t hurt that much anymore. At the weekend, Louis goes out with Amber, the girl from Lottie’s goodbye party, and some other friends. They go to a club and eventually end up in Amber’s bed. Louis has sex with her and it feels as good as it has always felt for him. After the little experiment with Harry he thought he could be gay maybe but now he knows that he isn’t. Louis might be drunk but he’s not too drunk to use a condom and not too drunk to remember that he enjoys what he’s doing very much. It’s clear for him that he’s not feeling anything but lust for Amber but they’ve discussed it, it’s mutual. Louis is relieved that he feels that way and that making out with her doesn’t feel wrong when he wakes up the next morning. As soon as Amber is awake too, they make out again. She blows him before they get up and it feels better than anything. At the end of the day he knows that he’s not gay and that Harry was just an experiment. A failed experiment, that’s it.

 ***

Two weeks later Louis sits on his bed, his laptop opened in front of him, books spread around his bed. He has to finish his current project in about five days and it’s always getting harder for him towards the end. He really doesn’t want to continue but he has to. Keira has already made him tea and Stan has promised to order pizza for dinner since all of them are pretty occupied because of their studies. Louis sighs, grabs his phone and plugs his headphones in. The music sometimes makes it easier for him to work.

Suddenly he jumps as he notices that Stan is standing next to him. He pulls the headphones out and looks at him. “What are you doing here?!” he jumps down Stan’s throat. “You’ve scared me to death!”

“Sorry Louis, but you didn’t react when I talked to you,” he says and shrugs. “You have a guest.” Stan moves his head towards the door. Louis looks that way too. He can’t believe his eyes. While Stan walks out of the room, Harry moves his finger between him and Louis. “Hi. Can I come in?” he asks.

“What are you doing here?!” Louis asks, not answering Harry’s question. The boy knows that his tone isn’t the nicest, a bit rude maybe but he’s shocked and he doesn’t know if in a positive or negative way. He didn’t really expect to see Harry ever again.

As Louis is looking in Harry’s green eyes, he can feel the butterflies in his stomach rising, he can feel that he’s getting nervous and these feelings are driving him crazy. He spent so much time to get rid of these feeling, he has spent so much time on forgetting about Harry. Louis thought everything he felt for this boy was just imagination but now that he’s standing in front of him, he knows it’s not true. But how can that be? He made out with a girl and liked it, he really did but still, he’s attracted to Harry. Fuck. All these thoughts are running through Louis’ mind while Harry walks towards him. Louis gets up and Harry wraps his arms around the boy, holding him tight while he’s nuzzling into the younger boy’s neck, telling him how much he missed him. Louis can feel his neck getting wet; Harry is crying. “I’m sorry for everything,” the boy sobs. “I’ve missed you so much,” he whispers and wraps his arms closer around Louis while he’s sobbing quietly. Harry’s words tug at Louis’ heart and suddenly he feels guilty. He feels guilty for his thoughts, he feels guilty for what happened with Amber and he feels guilty for thinking that Harry could have used him only. But then he remembers the pictures he saw online and suddenly he’s not that sure anymore.

Just in that moment, Louis can hear someone coming up the stairs and one second later the ajar door is opened. “What the fuck, Louis!”

Louis jerks away from Harry and stares at Amber who’s standing under the doorframe. “You fucked me and now you’re making out with _him_?” she yells. “Are you fucking serious Louis? What happened to you, are you suddenly gay? Seriously?” she says, letting out a fake laugh.

Harry stares at Louis and the girl alternately. Louis feels how an uncomfortable warmth is crawling up his body and his face is probably red by now. “Amber it’s not . . . it’s not what you think, I mean-,” he stutters as he’s walking towards the door but Amber doesn’t let him talk. “You’re such an asshole!” she yells at him and starts ripping the letter she’s holding in his hands into small pieces that trickle onto the floor. She doesn’t seem to recognize Harry, maybe she doesn’t know him. That’s what Harry is thinking while he watches the white pieces of paper covering the spot in front of her. She sends him a glare and walks away angrily. It takes only a few seconds when Louis hears the front door slamming. Fuck.

Louis feels like an idiot. He sits down on his bed and buries his hands into his hair. He doesn’t dare to look at Harry, he can’t. The humiliation he’s feeling is enormous, his bad conscience is burning in his heart and he if he could, he would like to disappear forever.

“I should go now,” Harry says quietly. Louis looks at Harry and one second later he wishes he wouldn’t have done it. Harry looks heartbroken, as if he’s about to start crying again. His eyes don’t sparkle like they used to, instead they look empty and incredibly sad. The older boy nearly looks like another person. Harry’s look is disturbing and just in that moment Louis’ realizes what he has done.

“Please don’t go,” he says but the words come out as a hoarse whisper. Louis’ mouth is dry and his heart is hammering in his chest uncomfortably – so much that he thinks it could burst through his chest. Suddenly Harry turns around for a second and Louis gets up but Harry only gives Louis another empty look before he leaves eventually. He closes the door silently and Louis can hear him walking down the stairs. And then, there’s silence. Silence that hurts more than anything else that Louis has ever experienced.

***

A few hours later Louis is laying in his bed, staring at the ceiling. Although it’s in the middle of the night, he can’t sleep at all. He has been tossing and turning for hours but he just can’t find a comfortable position. Whenever he closes his eyes he sees Harry’s disappointed face in front of him, Amber yelling at him and when he opens them, the picture disappears but the pain in his heart doesn’t. The incident with Harry and Amber has been taunting him for hours.  Louis knows that he has made a mistake, a big mistake. He is aware of the fact that Harry probably doesn’t want to see him again but nevertheless, Louis doesn’t want to accept that. He needs to do something about it. He needs to meet Harry again and apologize. Louis turns around in bed again and starts thinking of a solution. After a while, he gets an idea. There’s a faint chance that his plan could work.

It’s nearly 4 o’clock when Louis walks up the streets of London towards Harry’s house. The weather has gotten colder during the last weeks and he’s freezing, even though he’s wearing a think quilted jacket. Harry is probably asleep right now and Louis knows he can’t ring the bell that early in the morning. He has to wait until Harry leaves the house which could be whenever he decides to but Louis doesn’t want to take a risk and miss him leaving. He arrives at Harry’s house about half an hour later. And then he waits for hours. He sees the sun rising over the treetops and roofs early in the morning. From minute to minute there are more cars driving around the streets, people are waiting at bus stops and the city comes to life. Two hours later, Louis is still waiting in front of Harry’s house that’s surrounded by a tall, brown wall.

Louis gets hungry but he doesn’t dare walk away, not even for a few minutes. He keeps waiting for three more hours until he can hear someone opening the door. Louis’ heart is hammering in his chest and his heartbeat is increasing as he’s watching the door being opened.

“Hi Harry, can we talk?” he blurts out as he looks into Harry’s green eyes. God, he has missed him so much but he doesn’t dare to hug him, let alone kiss him.

Harry looks at him, clearly surprised but he’s not smiling. “Hi Louis,” he responds and opens the door a bit more for Louis to come in. Harry must be very disappointed, very, very disappointed. His eyes are empty, his look is sad and Louis feels even more miserable than before. He follows Harry into his house but it feels strange to be back. The atmosphere has nothing to do with the time they’ve spent together which makes his heart ache.

Harry leans on the armrest of his sofa with crossed arms and looks out of the windows, then looks to the floor again. Louis feels uncomfortable but he knows it’s about him now. He has to talk. It’s him who has to start the conversation. Louis takes a deep breath and rubs his face.

“I don’t know where to start,” he says quietly, looking at Harry. The boy just shrugs and presses his lips together but at least he looks at Louis by now. Louis feels a lump building in his throat and he has to pull himself together not to cry. Fuck. “Please say something,” Louis says. “I don’t know what to tell you other than that I’m sorry,” he adds, avoiding Harry’s eyes. And then there’s silence. Harry gets up, exhales and sits down on the sofa. He leans forward and supports this head with his hands. “I don’t know what to say, Louis,” he says.

Louis looks at him, not sure if he should go there or stay where he is. The silence hurts so bad and being that far from Harry hurts even more so Louis plucks up courage and walks over to Harry. He sits down next to him, wraps his left arm around Harry’s waist, touches his arm and puts his head on his shoulder. “I’ve realized that I miss you so much,” Louis says. He feels like he has to give in. “I’m sorry for everything, Harry. I didn’t want to hurt you,” he sobs and now that he said it, he can’t pull himself together anymore. The tears are running down his face uncontrolled.

It seems like an eternity when Harry finally turns towards Louis and wraps his arms around him without saying a word. The feeling of Harry’s body close to him makes Louis cry even more. “I’m sorry,” Louis sobs again. “I’m so sorry.” His voice is barely there because of the emotional strain. Harry pulls back and Louis can see that he has tears in his eyes too. Louis cups Harry’s face in his hands, lets his thumbs run over Harry’s cheek gently and leans in for a kiss. The feeling is heavenly, it’s emotion, it’s sensual, it’s what Louis has been missing forever and it’s something he won’t ever be able to describe.

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” Harry tells Louis and wipes his eyes. “But why did you have to hurt me like this? What have I done wrong?”

Louis turns towards Harry. “After I came home I missed you but then I discovered those pictures of Kendall and you online and I thought you . . . well I thought I was just a game to you or something so I tried to forget about you which seemed to work pretty good. It was still hard for me to accept that I was attracted to a guy and to prove it wrong I had sex with Amber . . . and, yeah I mean, I liked it. It wasn’t any different than before so I was sure I wasn’t gay but when . . . when you . . . yeah, you know – when I saw you . . . I realized how much I’ve missed you and also . . . how much I must have hurt you.”

Harry sighs. “Louis,” he says seriously. “I’m also very sorry for what happened to you. Mr. Collins was such an asshole, he treated you poorly and you can’t imagine how much I’ve been sorry for all that.” He takes Louis’ hand in his. “I can’t tell you how much I missed you all the time but it wasn’t possible for me to do anything about it. Yes, the incident with Amber hurt me but now that you’ve told me why you did that . . . I think I get it.” Harry still looks sad but he leans in and nuzzles close to Louis. Louis changes his position so that it’s more comfortable for both of them. Louis wraps his arms around him and puts his hands onto Harry’s. “You know Lou . . . you don’t need to label your sexuality,” he says and looks Louis in the eyes for a moment.

Louis admires how calm Harry is, how calm he has been since they’ve met for the first time. There’s no anger in his voice, at all. “I love you, Louis. Kendall is just my beard, my fake girlfriend they gave me so that the public is distracted. They shouldn’t think I’m gay but . . . I haven’t done anything with her. She’s just there when we have to appear in public and that’s it. She’s nice, yeah – we can talk about different topics when we’re together but that’s it.” The boy holds Louis’ hand up and kisses his knuckles. Then he turns his head towards him and looks up. “I love you, Louis. I really do and please don’t think that you were a game to me. I would never hurt someone on purpose, I swear.” His voice is low and warm, his eyes have changed from empty to soft, caring. Harry’s voice and look sends shivers down Louis’ spine.

“Why are you so nice to me, I don’t deserve this,” Louis says quietly, caressing Harry’s cheek. “I thought bad of you in the beginning, I thought bad of you after and you’re still such a sweetheart to me,” he tells Harry.

Harry takes Louis’ hand and gives it a kiss. “Because you deserve it, you do – don’t look at me like this,” he chuckles. “You’ve never had feelings for a guy and then there’s me, the whole situation is weird, the incident at the hotel and everything – I don’t blame you.” He gets up from Louis’ chest and kneels down next to him, cupping his face with his palms. “You don’t have to feel bad about anything. I have to be sorry for dragging you into this situation.”

Louis bows his head but Harry tilts his up. “Louis, I really want to be with you. I love you.” He leans in and Louis answers the kiss. It feels so good to be close to Harry, his warm mouth on his, Harry’s tongue brushing against Louis’ lips and the intimate feeling of letting himself fall into it.

“I want to be your boyfriend Harry,” Louis says seriously and kisses Harry’s eyelids gently, then his forehead. He pulls him into a long hug and wraps his arms around him.

“But what about all the restrictions and everything? We will never be able to message or anything because of the man, remember?” Louis asks.

Harry shakes his head. “We will find a way. I bought an extra phone because of you. He doesn’t know anything about it because they’re checking our phones from time to time.” Harry sighs. “We have to be very, very careful. I know it’s hard to understand and I don’t know if our relationship will survive but . . . I really want to try it with you but you have to hide our relationship. You can tell your closest family members and tell them to keep quiet. Otherwise we both could really get into trouble. But I don’t want to lose you again, Lou.”

“I will do anything for you Harry,” Louis says and looks into Harry’s eyes. “I love you.”

“I love _you_ , Louis,” Harry replies softly as he’s leaning in for the most sensual, most wonderful kiss Louis has even experienced. He’s lost in the kiss, he’s lost in Harry’s arms and it just feels _right_.


End file.
